Bound
by NightLightNeon
Summary: Ash suffers terribly, and Gary flees, unable to face the guilt of causing it. Four years later, they meet again, And Gary finds himself falling in love with the one he hurt the most... Everything has changed... Palletshipping! Darker in later chapters...
1. Prologue

Felt like writing Palletshipping, because I always loved Palletshipping. Although I felt like it has been fading, I couldn't help but to post this, since it has been hiding in my hard drive for a very long time now.

My first fic! Please enjoy! And drop a Review if you likey!

* * *

Prologue:

Gary couldn't breath.

No, Gary couldn't even kept a straight face, sitting on that chair inside that hospital hallway. Yet, there was no noose around his neck, no man choking him.

Explainable as well, was the loud, incessant, monotone buzzing that muted out any other sound. The people around him could be moaning out in despair, but their cries would only fall of deaf ears.

Gary waited, arms crossed. His expression was pained; A blank stare and deaf ears.

Why did the world feel yanked out form under his feet? Now, Gary was tumbling...

Tumbling and unbound by gravity through a pool of darkness…

"Gary." A sober voice and a palm on his shoulder brought the teenager back to reality.

"Grandpa…"

Professor Oak towered over him, only to take a step back and wave for him to follow.

Gary's feet weighed like concrete blocks. He struggled to walk, or form a coherent thought.

They approached another hall… The final hall of their whole trajectory. Professor Oak led Gary to a stop.

"Before we proceed any further…" Samuel's voice was soft, comforting. "I want you to think about this."

Gary almost choked, bringing a hand up to cover his face. "I need to see him."

"You don't have to, Gary. You don't have to. He's not even awake."

His head shaking, Gary pushed past him. "_Just let me through_."

Oak did not follow him. He only watched as Gary approach the very last room before stepping away and out of sight.

There were a couple of uncomfortable seating sofas lined along the wall. Delia was lying on her side across one, deep dark bags under her eyes. She was asleep.

Disheveled but awake, Misty sat on a chair just opposite of her.

"Gary!" Her whisper was nearly a cry, jumping to her feet and running to meet him in a hug. She sobbed silently in his chest. "Oh Gary, Delilah's asleep. She's been awake all this time, Gary all this time…"

"I know." Gary spoke softly, holding the embrace. "I haven't slept either."

His heart swelled so badly, it was too heavy for his own chest.

"This… Is entirely my fault, Misty." Gary managed to choke, holding back a bursting sensation from his chest.

Misty shook her head, her hair tickling him. "Don't you ever say that. It's not true."

Pain stricken, Gary pushed away from the embrace, feeling numb and faint.

"Can I go in?" Gary's voice was solemn.

Misty nodded, her façade giving away. Her eyelashes were shinning, her eyes pools of tears, her lips a sulk.

Gary took a deep breath pushing stepping inside the room.

_Beep… Beep… Beep…_

Head hanging low, Gary approached the bed, his step almost in sync with the heart rate machine. He sat on the chair that waited by the edge of the bed, unable to look at the sleeping figure lying upon it.

_He's alive._ Gary told himself. He finally found the courage to look up…

Ash had never been so white. He was pale beyond reason, Gary nearly thought he was dead.

Tears welled in Gary's eyes as he took in the bandage wrapped around his neck, like a collar, a streak of red staining it from underneath. Ash's closed eyes were black and blue, both of them, and another bandage was wrapped around his head, tuffs of black hair ruffled up.

"Oh Ash." Gary blinked, resisting the escape of his tears, looking away from his face. His arms were wrapped like a mummy, connected to several IV bags that hang above them. From underneath the sheets, one could tell Ash's leg was within a cast.

Gary bent forwards, allowing his arms and head to rest on the bed. He gingerly reached for Ash's hand.

"I'm so sorry…" A plea within a sob. "I'm so sorry."

He looked at Ash, who lay still, un-reacting. Gary pushed away a few rouge hairs from his face, his chest swelling painfully.

"You always hurt the one you love…" Gary whispered. "The one you shouldn't hurt at all."

Like a damn that had burst, Gary bent down over the bed and was no longer able to withhold his tears. Ash's hands in his own, He allowed himself to stay, stay until he felt dry, but the feeling never seemed to come.

He stood up, furiously wiping at his eyes.

"I hope I'll see you again." Gary murmured in lament as he leaned over Ash, placing a soft kiss over his forehead. "…But I hope for you're sake, I never do."

Gary dragged himself to the door, giving Ash one last longing look. "…Goodbye."

Gary was through the door, through the halls, and out of the hospital.

* * *

A/N: Wait? Wasn't the prologue different? Wasn't it really crappy when I first read it?

You guessed right, dear reader! But that prologue was more than 2 years old! And about 3 years ago I was a really bad writer. I mean like _really bad_. I've gotten better, and I simply couldn't stand this prologue, not when I had originally been written for another story, in another time… Anyways, I hope you guys review, tell me what you think and most of all…

ENJOY!


	2. Four Years Later

Chapter 1: Four Years Later.

There was lack of color in Gary's life.

Once he awoke every single morning, the world was colored in painful shades of grey. Everything was so dull and plain that almost nothing could bring some sort of light of interest to his eyes.

But this had been going on for so long, that Gary began to not notice anymore. The spiral that was his depression was now actually his life as he knew it, and anybody who had ever tried to make him realize this grim truth had failed miserably.

He would awake every morning, and the first thing that greeted his heavy eyes was the damn alarm clock, telling him that he actually had to get up from the bed, out of his room, and live his life. He would look out of his window once he opened the shades, and the sky would seem gray in the early morning, clouds staining the vastness.

He'd go for his fridge and grab the first thing that was edible within the reach of his clawing hands once inside the kitchen. He'd drown down this meager and tasteless breakfast with a glass of juice while he watched the TV from the flat screen in his living room. He kept it on at all times.

You see, it killed the silence.

Once in his car, he'd sail the traffic of Saffaron, the radio on and buzzing. Voices of reporters broadcasting the news drowned any thought in his mind, until he reached the tall building of his research center in the dead center of the city. It would have been a dream place for a younger Gary, but this sullen Gary could care less of where he worked, as long as he had a reason to leave the apartment, work his ass off, and then go home to pass out tired.

But you might also see, that today was not like any other day.

Gary awoke in the morning, and began his routine. After getting through with opening windows, eating breakfast, getting ready and finally arriving to work, his day began like this:

"Good morning, Gary!" Cried Jun, his excited lab partner. He waved at Gary from his desk as he entered the room.

"Morning." He answered.

Once Gary seated down on the desk next to Jun, the latter scooted closer and elbowed him. "Sooo. Did you do the research about togepi's like I asked you to do?"

"No. Why didn't you do it?" Gary had begun placing his messenger bag along his desk.

"Because I went out last night, man! I knew you weren't going to be out so I thought I could count on you for a favor!"

Unflinching, Gary asked, "Why do you need it anyway? I heard they're shipping over a Togepi egg. In fact, I think it arrives today."

"Exactly!" His partner's straight and volumeless black hair fell into the glasses that were over his small eyes. "That girl that's really famous is coming over to pick it up; she ordered it several weeks ago. They even had to send one over from Hoenn."

The brunette shrugged, uninterested.

"I want to have some reason to talk to her, you know." Jun added, despite noticing the complete indifference from Gary's part. "I mean, people probably pester her all that time, since she's famous and all. I mean, who wouldn't want to meet and greet Misty Waterflower?"

Silence.

"W-what?"

"Yeah! Misty Waterflower! You know, the one who sings and does all her acts with water…"

_Misty Waterflower._

Jun's voice faded in Gary's ears. His straight-haired partner babbled on, unnoticing as a terrible feeling clenched at Gary's guts and made his stomach flip inside of him. His face turned pale, and in a dizzy motion he swirled in his seat to face his partner.

"When is she coming?" He demanded.

"Like," Jun checked his clock. "…Right now. Damn! Now I have no Togepi research! I won't have any to talk to her about. I'll just have to improvise- Hey! Where are you going?"

Gary was out of his seat and dashing for the men's bathroom.

_Misty. Misty Waterflower._

_Ash Ketchum's Best friend._

The particular Ash Ketchum which he had avoided and hadn't seen for the last… four years?

Once bolting through the door, he almost tripped onto the sinks, breathing heavily over them as he grasped them for support. Composing himself, he whirled around in his spot, checking to see if anybody else was in the bathroom. It was empty.

Relieved, he fell back and leaned against the wall, catching his breath.

_Why so nervous? _

They had left in good terms, right?No, it wasn't that. It was the fact that the person that he least wanted to see for the rest of his sad, grey life might be coming with her.

"No!" He choked, but quickly pulled his hand over his mouth in embarrassment. His eyes scanned the bathroom once again, only to find it still empty. He had worked so hard to gain some sort of composure, and now the bare mentioning _of a friend of his_ was already getting to him.

He shook his head violently. He wasn't about to let someone make him forget all the effort he made to suppress his thoughts for the last couple of years. In fact, all the panic might as well have been for nothing… For all he knew, neither Misty nor Ash lived in Saffaron. Ash might not even be with her.

Maybe.

But his pride wouldn't let him stay there, hidden in a bathroom. Gary Oak wasn't a coward. _Gary Oak is better than that_, he told himself.

That was Gary's big mistake. Listening to his pride. Because pride always comes before the fall. And Gary was about to fall.

_Fall real hard._

He exited the Bathroom, hoping with all his guts that he wouldn't run into Misty. But the very moment he exited that door, was the very moment that he was reunited with an old friend.

Jun had his back to him, but right in front of the black haired man was a beautiful, gorgeous, and grown-up Misty. Her hair had been grown out of that shaggy ponytail she would wear, and now fell down to curve around the sides of her face. She was taller and no longer dressed in the traveling attire. Sticking out of her bag was an egg holder, in which he recognized a togepi egg inside. She had a slick tattoo on her wrist.

Gary was frozen still, and it was only a few seconds before Misty caught a sight of him. She turned her bored eyes away from the babbling Jun, only for them to widen as she saw his petrified face.

"Gary!" She called out, surprise written all over her countenance. She walked past Jun, leaving him talking to himself, to sort of run forward in her high heels towards Gary.

Then, meeting him with a tight embrace, she laughed.

"Misty!" He breathed, the air in his lungs squeezed away. She let go of him with a sigh of relief and watched him with sweet eyes, full of happiness. It was as if she had been waiting for that moment for years.

"I'm sorry I hugged you so hard, I just thought I'd never ever see you again!"

Gary smiled, something unexpected even for himself. He hadn't thought their reunion would have gone this way.

"Misty, my god!" He looked her up and down. "You've changed so much! Who would ever believe that Misty Waterflower, _the tomboyish mermaid_, would look as graceful as you do now in heels?"

She giggled.

"And a new record! Seriously, you've done real well with yourself!" He poked her playfully, laughing.

There was no Ash with her. And in that moment he was remembering how much this girl had grown on him in the past.

"You don't so bad yourself, handsome!" She complemented as well. "Where have you been? How are you? I mean, I haven't seen you since-"

"Since forever!" Gary cut off, his voice in a tone too high. The last time he had seen her was at that hospital.

"Right? Oh, Gary we should hang out or something, I mean this is huge!" She pulled her cell phone out from the glossy leather bag she carried. "Give me your number so I call you or something. I wish we could catch up, but I really have to go, Ash is waiting…"

"Ash?" Gary blurted out, instantly regretting it. There was a short moment of silence.

Misty's fingered had frozen over the keyboard of her cell, and she stared at it blankly. Ever so slowly, she lifted her cerulean blue eyes to meet his own.

"Have you…" She scanned the room for eavesdroppers. "Have you talked to him since… well, you know."

Shame washed through him, and he looked away from Misty's aqua eyes. She already knew the answer.

She smiled sweetly, suddenly changing the vibe around them. "It's ok." She looked straight into his eyes. "You just needed your time, but we're going to have to catch up anyways."

Gary laughed uncertainly.

They exchanged phone numbers, and Misty showered him with kisses and hugs before leaving. Gary watched her carefully until she was out the door.

Exhaling, he felt some sort of relief go through his body.

"Oh my God, seriously, man? You knew Misty Waterflower this whole time, and never even told me?" Jun gawked at him. He had been watching the whole time, feeling quite left out.

"Yeah, I did." With that, Gary strolled through the door and made his way to gather papers from the reception.

Mistake number two. Assuming that Ash had been waiting for Misty elsewhere.

If there was one thing he liked about his grandfather's laboratory, was the fact that it wasn't in a huge hospital like facility like this one. In this place, one would have to go through pushable doors for every hall, and the place gave to sense of being in a sterilized hospital.

But as he pushed the door to the reception, little did he know that a moment later he would know how it felt to have his heart drop out and roll around the floor.

Indeed, a moment later, Gary felt all that. All that and more. For there he was, in flesh and bones, right in front of him.

Ash Ketchum, four years later.

Gary felt as if his soul had frozen somewhere inside of him, and stood there, paralyzed, hand at the door and gawking.

The first thing he noticed was the oh-so-visible changes. His hair fell in dark waves, shiny, unlike the ash-like grey strands he remembered him having when he lay defeated in the hospital bed. The frame of his face had lost almost all complete trace of boyishness, and the purple bruise like bags underneath his eyes were gone. Erased.

His body felt no longer skinny and beaten as he stood, leaning over the reception desk, a cell phone in his hands. Some much needed pounds were added to his frame, and the sickly complexion was gone. He even had a slight smile in his face.

Fitted in a loose purple t-shirt, Gary noticed his lean, but not necessarily over muscled arms. Scattered across them, several scars that held painful memories from the past. His eyes continued their scanning, noticing that he wore simple light jeans and black shoes.

Ash must have felt the eyes on him, because in that moment he turned around, and spotted Gary for the first time.

That was when color returned to Gary's life for the first time in four damn years.

_Oh god, his eyes!_ Gary screamed in his head. The swirls of bright amber and fire-like determination were set of him. It reminded him of honey that dripped from his Grandfather's trees back in the ranch, and of rich reddish wood that have been turned into polished furniture.

The world stopped, Ash's eyes ones of confusion. Or was there something more?

Something like that passed through Gary's mind. His body finally had some kind of control again. Ash opened his mouth, but no words came out. The words had gotten stuck somewhere in his throat.

They weren't friend, were they? But they weren't enemies, either. Couldn't they say a simple hello?

Gary wasn't so sure.

His pride flew out of the window, and he pushed himself back into the door, slipping into the hall he had just come out of. With that, he bolted through the hall, almost afraid of seeing Ash follow behind him.

Too many thoughts buzzed through his head, and Gary found himself running towards the back elevator, which would take him to the parking lot, which would take him to his car, which would take him back home.

Ash. Four years later.

AN: I took quite a while to post this because I was lazy. Sorry. In fact, I already had it written for a while, but rewrote it again because I was unsatisfied.

Yay I'm so happy! My last chapter got so many Page views that I felt like squealing, and I even got a few story alerts and people faving the story! Thank you so much!

But I would also love love LOVE reviews! I mean, they are not essential for me to write, but indeed I believe that I do write faster when receiving. You'll get cookies if you do!

And by the way, if anybody is actually interested in reviewing tell me what character you'd rather see or find more interesting:

Drew or Paul?

Steven Stone or Lance?

Ritchie or Snap?

I know it's a pretty random ass list, but if you feel like it, just go ahead and tell which of the two mention you feel like (example: Drew, Lance and Ritchie) :P


	3. Thoughts

Guys! Thank you so so so MUCH for all the reviews, alerts and favs! Seriously, I was not expecting this much! And If you reviewed, and I did not answer, I'm so sorry! I went on vacations, and I was not able to write or even answer anybody for quite a while…

Anyways, Here's the next chapter!

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Chapter 2: Thoughts. 

The Road was suspiciously empty.

Forgetting the fact that the rush hour of the morning had passed, Ash's anxious eyes scanned the street, throwing a glance at every alley he passed and at every turn they approached. Except for the occasional car zooming by, or the random pedestrian on the street, there was nothing to be alarmed of.

Misty sat in the passenger seat, unnoticing Ash's unease.

"It's adorable Ash!" She squealed, hugging the egg container as if it would replace the feeling of hugging the real pokemon.

"Reminds me of Togepi before he hatched." Ash said, deciding that the fact that the street was clear was normal.

She squealed again before stretching in-between their seats and placing the container in the back seats. Sitting back into her seat, a faint smile crossed her lips in the thought of her new pokemon.

"So… Where exactly are we going now?" Ash asked.

"Hmm," Misty face twisted in thought. "You have any plans for later today?"

"No."

"Well, how about we get breakfast, and decide from there?"

They both agreed, and after a few turns of the car, they arrived to a cozy coffee shop.

After the waitress left them the menus, they sat in silence.

"…Hey Misty?" Ash pretended to look at the menu, avoiding her eyes. Misty answered with an absentminded 'yeah?', still thinking of what her order would be. Ash hesitated, unsure of whether to continue.

"Uh… Have you… I don't know, heard from Gary in the last few… years?" He bit his tongue right after he finished his sentence.

Misty looked up from her menu, a curious look crossing her eyes. "Well, I have."

Another moment of silence followed. Ash scratched his head, surprised at her answer. A couple of girls sitting near whispered together, eyes wide as they noticed the numerous scars upon his arms. Ash and Misty ignored them.

"Wait- What! You have talked to him?" A strange mixture of disappointment and anger filled his chest. Misty looked away, noticing the change in his voice.

"I mean, don't think it was a really long time ago, or many times! Seriously, it was only once, and it wasn't that long ago."

"When?"

She bit her lip, eyes focused at the menu in her hands. "Well… Today, actually."

"What!" Taken aback, Ash slumped in his chair, exasperated.

"Today." She repeated softly, shuffling the menu.

"No, I heard you, Misty!" Ash shook his head, placing his face into the palm of his hand.

There was another moment of silence between them. The waitress came with a notebook, ready to take orders. The mumbled their choices to the girl, and wrote it all down dutifully and promised to bring the drinks before leaving.

When she left, Misty said, "Listen, Ash, I'm sorry if that makes you angry…".

"No, no!" Ash gave her a feeble chuckle. "I guess I feel better now that I'm sure that I didn't hallucinate seeing him today."

"You saw him?"

"Yeah, I did." Ash said. He fingered the straw of his lemonade, a thoughtful look crossing his face. Misty eyed him curiously.

"And how was it?"

"Well…" He hesitated, unsure of how to draw the moment that occurred between him and Gary. In his head, a flash of Gary's green, wide eyes watching him appeared to him, but he shook it off. "I guess our encounter wouldn't count as a reunion."

"What do you mean?" Misty asked. She tilted her head and laid it on the palm of her hand, watching him.

Ash chuckled weekly. "He saw me, and then kind of ran away."

Misty shot up, surprised. "No!"

"I swear! It was almost as if he was scared of me..."

"Nah," She shook her head, dismissing his suspicion. "I bet he just didn't even see you. I mean, of course he would say hi to you, after all these years it'd be ridiculous not too."

"Well, maybe, I don't know." For a moment, he wondered if the picture in his mind of Gary's emerald eyes was only a fraction of his imagination. Similar to the times when he'd thought he'd seen that black pickup truck near a corner of his apartment, or when he could swear he'd left all the doors of his home opened to find one closed-

"Ash?" Misty brought him out of his train of thought. "You wouldn't mind if I ever..."

She hesitated.

"If you ever what?"

"…Invited him over sometime? You know, to go out with us and maybe catch up. It has been a lot of time, you know."

* * *

Gary spent the rest of the day sulking in his apartment, calling in sick to work.

Gary normally would not have dismissed work so easily. He was Gary Oak after all. But after returning to his desk and attempting to work, he would failed miserably. He would shuffle around his desk, unable to concentrate on the easiest details of his research. His eyes would bounce back and forth from the door, to back to his desk, waiting to see if Misty or even Ash would walk back in to the lab.

He would even believed for a second that Ash was going to dash after him once he had run through that door.

After his hands become so sweaty that his pen would keep slipping his grip, Gary decided to damn it all and take the day off.

Humiliated, he crashed down onto his couch face forwards. Gary groaned, head hurting from spinning too much.

He could not help of think of his eyes.

Colors similar to the warm brown seemed to pop out everywhere, from the advertisement for that honey cereal on the street, to his own wooden furniture waiting at his own apartment. These colors, ones that he had never even noticed before in his grey, boring life.

Then, he remembered Ash's closed eyes as he lay in the hospital bed, surround by purple bruises.

'And it was my fault.' He could not help but to think.

Finding it useless to stop himself, he clutched a pillow from the couch close to his chest and allowed his eyes to sting.

"Dammit." He cursed out loud, half muffled by the pillow in his face. He allowed himself to free long withheld tears for a short moment, before wiping at his eyes rather abruptly and sitting up once more.

Trying to put the moment past him, Gary sat up in an abrupt manner before fumbling around to find the television control. He turned the television, and the volume drowned the quiet.

He remained like that for several hours. He would lie on the couch, only paying half attention to the programs. After scanning the music channels, he fell asleep into troublesome dreams of Ash, torn and beaten, lying in the hospital bed. Or of how he was like right now, how the whole event had affected him.

Gary would imagine Ash living as a zombie, traumatized from the experience. He would imagine Ash blaming his misery of Gary, since it was Gary fault anyways. Gary could see Ash hating him even more, hating him for leaving him behind in that cold hospital room.

The researcher awoke with tears, once again, flowing down his face.

In front of him, the television set was no longer showing music videos, but some other program. He stole a glance at his watch.

It was seven pm.

He dragged himself to the kitchen, with a sense of emptiness lingering. The whole day was wasted away in sulking in the couch, half-asleep, half-dreaming.

He had begun to make himself a meager dinner when his cell phone began buzzing upon the kitchen counter. He looked at it wearily, and put down the can he was opening. He walked to the edge of the counter, where it was.

Gary felt himself go pale once he saw why it was buzzing.

'Text: Misty Waterflower'.

He put it back on the counter, leaving the message unread. He walked around the island counter once before slapping himself mentally for being ridiculous, and reached for the cell phone again.

The message said:

"_Hey Gary! Wanted to tell you that Ash and I want to meet up with you! We need to talk about everything! How about this Friday? Please text me to confirm if you can. Don't disappoint us!" _

Gary gulped hard.

_Don't disappoint us. _

He sat, shaking, on one of the chairs he pulled out from underneath the counter.

_'I am a disappointment. It's all I am, and it's all I ever was'_.

Gary looked at the message again and again. Did Ash actually 'want to meet up' with him? And to talk about what? To talk and catch up, or for an opportunity for Ash to cursed at him for being such a cowardly asshole?

...Or was he going to forgive him?

A small sense of hope fluttered in Gary's chest.

This was his chance to not disappoint Ash any longer. And this was his chance to say how terribly, dreadfully sorry he was.

* * *

There! I'm sorry if it was kind of short, or that it didn't feature Ash and Gary together. BUT THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL! So beware of the next update.

Again thanks for the reviews! I saw that somebody offered me cookies of something to update faster… Mhm, sweats! Definitely interested…

Anyways, please tell me who you'd prefer to see in this fic!

Drew or Paul?

Steven Stone or Lance?

Ritchie or Snap?

Again, Thank you! Please Review! Reviews are awesomely awesome!


	4. It's been So Long

I wanted to warn all my readers…

Some of you may probably think that this story is rated M because it'll probably involve a lemon somewhere down a road. While I'm not denying that that may happen, but this story is mostly M because of VIOLENCE.

Yes.

But we won't see much of that until later in the story. Only a tiny bit of it will be seen in this particular chapter.

I mean, Ash WAS beaten into a pulp in the prologue, so it's kind of to be expected.

Please enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 3: It's Been So Long

_Ash was trapped._

_His arms were tied behind his back by a tangled mess of barbed wire, cutting and splitting the skin of his raw arms. There, bound by the wires, he lay on his stomach, face forward in the dirt. Above his head, a wide plank of wood worked as a ceiling, merely less than a foot away from his head._

_It was if he were inside a box: to his sides, more wood, above his head, his low ceiling, and underneath him, dirt._

_Only to his front was an opening, where he could see the horrible torture that was going on at the moment._

_He watched, eyes wide._

"_No! Please! Don't do this! Don't do thi—" The pleading voice of a boy was cut off by a terrible scream that ripped through his throat._

_Finally, Ash looked away, head swinging right to bury his face in dirt, and left with strain to look at the ceiling of his low prison. Trying to avoid the sight. He would twist, but every time he'd try to twist out of those bounds that kept him to the floor, the delicate skin of his arms would tear and bleed._

_The screaming voice turned into a whimper. The boy now knew his faith, as he lay there, crumpled and broken. He breathed out his last frantic breaths, body contoured into an awkward position, yet unable to move._

_Ash wanted to say something, to encourage him, to say anything that would ease his last moments, yet the big knot in his throat made out of fear kept him silent._

_The boy's head lolled back, and his damp, glassy eyes stared straight into Ash's._

_Ash sucked in a breath, and gathering the last of his wits, he forced words out of his throat._

"_You were strong." He said, voice tiny and weak. A soft, mocking chuckle ringed through the room._

_Ash closed his eyes in despair, tears leaking past his closed eyelids, shaking in fear and anger._

"_No! Peter, you were strong! Don't listen to him! You were so strong!" He now sobbed, offering some last words of encouragement to the dying boy. The boy lying in the open space closed his eyes one last time, almost as if nodding to Ash._

_Ash knew that that was it for Peter._

"_You were strong, YOU WERE STRONG!" He chanted, competing with the haunting laugh that filled the room. _

_A tall man stalked towards the defeated boy, his face, as always, hidden beyond the shadows. He was the one laughing, a long, sleek knife in his steady hands._

"_Peter! You were strong! You were stronger than any of us! You were, Peter, YOU WERE-"_

_Ash broke out into screams once the knife descended upon the boy, ending the life, and splattering blood was sent everywhere._

_._

_._

_._

"…_**This is the knife that will drain the life out of your veins."**_

* * *

Ash was awoken by his own cry, bursting onto a sitting position in his bed.

He breathed heavily, grasping his chest. He felt his mad heartbeat drum against the walls of his chest. Tears stung at his eyes.

He took his clammy hands away his chest, and slowly brought it through his sweaty hair. He was shaking.

Bringing his knees to his chest, he rested his head onto both hands, attempting to steady his breath.

"No, it's already over…" He tried telling himself.

Once the moment passed, he sighed deeply and threw himself back into his bed. He turned his head toward his night table, acknowledging with groggy eyes that it was only five o'clock in the morning.

The sun hadn't risen above the horizon yet.

He groaned lightly and massaged his temples. After a minute or so, Ash found it rather useless to lay about, when he knew sleep would be impossible to reach once more. He placed a hand upon his chest, listening to his slowly heartbeat.

Later, Ash lingered at the door of his room with his cell phone in hand. He dialed Misty's number.

"How you knew I'd be awake by now is beyond me." She answered, fully awake. In the background he could hear the bustling noises and the sound of distinct voices.

"Well, every other time you've filmed anything you've always been up ridiculously early." Ash answered, still sounding somewhat sleepy.

"Hmm, that's thoughtful of you to know my schedule."

"It's a lot more interesting than mine."

"So…" Misty's voice wandered off, for a moment. "What are you up too?"

Ash exited his room, and walked down the hall. The living room awaited him, completely empty. "Not much. Just checking out my place."

"Oh." He imagined her nodding, understanding. Ash peeked into the empty room beyond the living room, its door wide open. It looked empty as well.

"Well, since your apparently not doing anything interesting, I'll tell you what I'm up to!" Ash cringed at her giggle. He looked through the closet room of the guest room, which was not only empty of any life, but also devoid of any clothing.

"The music video is going to come out great! They just did my hair-" Ash walked out of the room, and strolled to the kitchen. No one was there, except for Ash. "And it came out pretty cool. Looks all wet!"

"Now they've started my make up, too!" Ash checked the last room of his loft apartment. The laundry room door was also opened, the sound of the rumbling machines floating into the kitchen. It was empty.

"I asked them to try to make a sort of edgy look, but-"

"That's great, Mist. I hope you have fun." With that he hung up, releasing a sigh of relief.

He was alone. He'd survived another night without anybody breaking into his apartment, and without anybody entering his home with the lewd intention to kill him.

If he was anybody else, he probably would have laughed at his paranoid morning routine.

He stared for minute out the window of the terrace, where the first rays of sun were filtering through the Saffron skyline. The rest of the sleep left his eyes, and he felt less groggy than before.

_Tick tick tick tick!_

Ash ear's suddenly listened intently. From the ceiling, the sound of scurrying paws could be heard. He looked up, staring at the ceiling attentively, the sound just above his head.

_Tick tick tick tick!_

Though it definitely wasn't human, he decided to check the noise out anyways.

Later, when he had gotten the latter out of the storage and peeked into the ventilation system, he found it empty.

* * *

Later that evening Gary paced back and forth, checking his reflection every time he passed the mirror.

It was very unlike Gary. Though he gotten over his faze of admitting it, he found him very attractive. In fact, he generally put on anything at random from his closet, deciding that he could pull the look off before even trying it on. And usually, it worked. He'd look smooth and crisp, no matter how disheveled his look.

But today was different.

He was actually… nervous! Everything about his appearance looked wrong, and he looked pale and terrible.

"Listen, Ash. I'm truly sorry for everything." Gary rehearsed in front of the mirror, then deciding that it was too bland of an apology.

His Umbreon, which he had retrieved from his grandfather's lab earlier that day, remained curled in the corner of his walk-in closet, eyes following Gary's figure as he paced back and forth.

"Ash, I just wanted to know if you could ever forgive me for leaving you behind. It was terrible of me, and I still feel guilty." Gary rehearsed again, but felt like slapping himself as soon as he'd finished talking.

He turned to look at his Umbreon, who watched, amused.

"You'd be nervous too." Gary mumbled, walking out of the closet. The faithful Umbreon followed behind, skippering across the closet to reach him. He lifted his nose up and licked at Gary's hard enthusiastically.

"Yeah, just wait a minute." Gary smiled slightly, knowing that the fox wanted food. He patted Umbreon's head, reaching for the bag of food in the kitchen's dispenser.

After the food had been served, he checked his pocket for his keys and wallet. He sighed heavily, a realized it was his time to leave.

"I left the Terrace door open so that you could walk out and get a breath of air whenever you want." He told his Umbreon, who was too distracted gobbling down his food to notice his master was leaving.

It was short drive to the place Misty had told him they would meet.

"Excuse me, where can I park my car?" He asked a couple of bell boys at the entrance of the hotel where the event was. The bell boys shook their heads.

"I'm sorry Sir, but the hotel's parking lot has no vacancy. It's the hotel's bar grand opening." Said one of the boys.

Gary cursed, realizing that his plan to delay his arrival by searching for the furthest parking space just went to hell.

"But we can take your car, Sir. There's still valet parking available." Said the other boy.

Gary shrugged, and handed the keys to the boy.

Following Misty's instructions, he took the elevator to the last floor; where he was encountered a disorganized crowd of people. The floor was a dark, short hallway, where at the end was an entrance to another room. Two buff bouncers were at the door, deciding who was getting in and who wasn't.

Gary stood there, alone and unsure of what to do.

He dialed Misty.

"Hello?" She half-screamed, music in the background.

"Misty! Misty?" He put his other hand against his ear, attempting to plug out the noise from his surroundings.

"Hey, Gary! How are you?" Gary rolled his eyes.

"I'm great," He scanned the crowd for the red head. "But listen, I'm standing here at the entrance of the place you told me about. Are you already here? I don't really feel like entering alone."

"Yeah! Of course, just wait for a minute, I'll tell the doorman to let you in." She hung up.

A mere minute later, Gary saw her fire red mane near the door. He pushed through several people attempting to get in, waving at her.

Spotting him, Misty poked at the bouncer, whispered something in his ear before the man nodded. He signaled at Gary and motioned him towards the entrance.

"Come on in." The doorman un-hooked the rope that guarded the entrance, allowing him in. Before Gary was through the door, Misty was already tugging at his hand.

Once inside she embraced him in a quick hug. "Gary I'm so happy you made it."

Gary scratched his head, fidgeting on his feet. "Yeah, I'm glad we got a chance to catch up."

"You look nervous, Gary. That look doesn't suit you." She patted his arm, and Gary's cheeks turned red. "Loosen up! You and I should go get a drink."

"Uh, sure!"

The place wasn't as crowded as it was outside. Lounge music played at a reasonable volume, allowing the people inside to chatter. It was dim lit by some light that faded into different colors, and scattered around were several modern, yet comfy looking couches.

Among the high-heeled girls and the suited men, Gary couldn't spot Ash.

Misty reached the bar, leaning over the glass surface and waving at the bartender. She looked back at Gary, a questioning look on her face. "What do you want?"

"Anything really." Gary abruptly stopped scanning the place, and turned back to Misty.

Once with their drinks, they settled into one of the empty couches.

He sipped at his drink, watching Misty as she took a seat beside him.

"Do you like the place?" She asked, twirling a strand of hair in her finger. Gary noticed it was so shiny, so smooth looking. And her lips were glossy, her lashes long. Gary marveled at the amount of change he didn't notice the day they reunited.

"It's actually pretty nice." He looked away from Misty, and looked at his surroundings again. No Ash to be seen. He took another sip, and then this warm feeling began tingling in his body.

"Hey Gary…" Misty looked at him in the eye. "Were you nervous because… Because of Ash?"

Gary looked at her for a moment, and then looked away. He took another sip.

"…I haven't see Ash since the hospital. And he wasn't even awake." Gary smoothed the folds of his shirt. He took another sip from his drink, feeling the warm feeling wash over him again. "And before that, it's just… The last time I saw him was when- when-"

"Yeah, I know." She sipped from her drink as well. Something about her, maybe her smooth looks, yet familiar face, was comforting to Gary.

"But you have to know, Gary. It's been four years. Things have changed now! I have changed, as you might have noticed," She signaled herself, smiling at him. They both shared a laugh, nodding. "You've changed, but most of all… Ash has changed."

They remain without speaking for a moment. Gary briefly wondered how Misty had noticed his own changes.

"So, enough mushy mushiness!" She cheered, holding her cup up. "Let go find Ash, and we can all talk together."

With that, she downed the rest of her cup, and stood from the couch. She waved him to follow.

Gary laughed at her boldness, and followed suit. He gulped down what remained in his cup, before setting it down on a small table before the couch.

They cut through the crowd, Misty striding through, her movements following the beat of the music. She waved at several people, but kept Gary close, holding his hand as she lead him through. Little by little, the tenseness of his shoulders disappeared, and his terrible nervousness was fading away.

He didn't know whether it was because of the alcohol, but the music now seemed a lot more pleasant than before. He found himself nodding to the music, smiling and laughing every time Misty looked back and him.

She came to a sudden halt, pulling Gary close.

"He's over there!" Misty said in an urged whisper, jerking her head in one direction. Gary couldn't spot him.

"I don't see—"

Tugging his arm, she passed the last people in their way, to where Ash was.

Gary felt his heart momentarily flutter in the sight of him. He leaned over a table near the bar, laughing as he spoke to some purpled haired man. At his hand, a cup of glass with an unknown drink inside.

"Ash!" Misty called, waving at him.

He turned towards her direction, spotting the two of them. His lips stretched into a smile, and he walked over to them. He didn't make eye contact with Gary, despite Gary's eyes following his every movement.

"Where did you go, Mist? I thought I lost you!" His voice was cheerful, raspy and deep. Unlike the Ash Gary knew.

"I went to get Gary here…" Misty looked away from Ash, and motioned towards Gary, who been feeling quite invisible for the moment.

Ash's eyes lingered on her, despite her motioning towards Gary. There seemed to be this moment of hesitation in his eyes, but a moment later he turned towards Gary, meeting his gaze.

"Gary." Ash said.

In that moment, it was as if Misty disappeared. Everybody disappeared to Gary's mind, as he could only see Ash and his light eyes. The intensity of his gaze, which he had forgotten, stared him down. He couldn't tell if there was anger, hatred or forgiveness in his eyes.

"Ash." Gary said. He held out his hand.

Ash stared at it of a moment, before taking it in his own hand—

To only pull him into a tight hug.

"Gary! It's so long!" Gary stood for a moment, surprised. Upon realizing the situation, he wrapped his around him, hugging him back. The scent of Ash's cologne reached Gary's nose.

_It smells so good…_

Gary pulled Ash off, mentally slapping himself.

_He smells so good? What am I thinking, for God's sake, this is Ash-_

Ash seemed unfazed, and asked, "How are you doing? And what are you doing? All I know about you is what Professor Oak has to say, and from what I've heard, he's really proud of you!"

"Huh, thanks!" Gary was quite surprised. "I'd actually imagine him saying something negative about me."

Their conversation ensued, a lot more smoothly than Gary had imagined. He couldn't keep his eyes from tracing every line of Ash's form. Ash probably noticed, but Gary couldn't stop. His tanned, scared arms, his smooth hair, Gary felt regret for pushing him away from their embrace, wishing he could hug him some more.

Ash either pretended not to notice, or was used to people staring at him for his scars.

Gary spotted a faded jiggered line across one side of his neck, another pang of regret hitting him.

"So you're actually a frontier Brain?" Gary never expected Ash to be anything less than a champion.

Ash shrugged, "I decided that all this master babble was a bunch of bullshit, but I still love pokemon with all my heart and could never stop working with them. So when Scott told me the job was still available, I obviously took it."

"That's actually pretty gre-"

"Ash, what are you talking about?" A purple haired man stepped in next to Ash. He was several inches taller than Ash, but stood at Gary's height. He draped an arm around Ash's shoulders and pulled him in, almost in a protective manner.

"Uh, about my job..." Ash looked up at him, meeting his eyes. A Questioning look crossed his face.

"Paul!" Misty didn't look surprised. He looked back at Gary, and pointed at the Violet haired man. "Gary, this is Paul, a friend of ours from Sinnoh. Paul this is Gary-"

"Yeah, I know who he is." Paul looked up from Ash, and glared straight into Gary's eyes. His indigo cold eyes stared him down, as if attempting to drill a hole in his head.

Feeling attacked, Gary unconsciously straightened out and stood taller, glaring back.

_What is this guy's problem?_

He ignored his pride for a moment, and held his hand out to shake. "Nice to meet you."

Paul looked down at Gary's hand, and didn't offer his hand in return. "I've heard a lot about you, Gary. About how you and Ash used to be friends."

He took his arm off Ash's shoulders, to Gary's relief, yet something about his words made Gary cringe.

_Did this Paul guy know about what had happened?_

Gary mind wheeled. If Ash wasn't acting hateful about what had happened, maybe this guy would hate him for him. And what was with his arm around his shoulder? Were he and Ash-? Gary shook his head mentally. If he and Ash were something, that'd mean that Ash was—

"I'll be seeing you guys around later." Paul eyed Gary, almost as if warning him. He patted Ash's and Misty's shoulder, before turning his heal and going elsewhere.

"Heh, that Paul." Ash muttered uneasily. He shared a look with Misty, before suggesting:

"How about some else to drink, huh? Let's lighten our moods!"

Misty agreed, and they both marched to the bar, excited. Gary had just noticed that Ash's drink was empty in his hands.

_Ash is drinking?_

The knowledge of that fact came as a complete surprise. How could one ever drink again when such a horrible had happened the last time- the last time they had seen each other? Confused, Gary began to wonder whether why Ash was acting so normally. If it had been him in that situation, he'd probable hate Ash with all his guts, and probably never drink a glass of alcohol again.

It surprised Gary even more once he saw Ash picking a two shoot glasses from a waiter with a tray full of them, drowning both in succession without hesitation.

"Hey, guys." Gary approached Misty and Ash. "I don't think I should drink anymore. I'm driving home…"

"Where did you leave your car?" Misty asked, she and Ash leaning over the bar. Ash had his eyes screwed closed, probably still tasting the sting of the pure alcohol in his two shots.

"In valet parking…"

"Then don't worry! I'll pay your tab, and we'll take you home. My driver is driving." She giggled. "Then, tomorrow morning, my driver can pick your car."

Ash seemed like he recovered from the bad taste. He still looked slightly out of it though. "Gary, we haven't seen each other since forever and you wanna leave without having any fun? Nun-uh, you and I really need to share a drink.

He slammed his hand down on the bar, catching the Bartender's attention. "Hello, we could use some drinks here..!"

Gary looked at Misty with wide eyes. Was he seriously going to have more to drink after already drinking one drink and two shots? And he still didn't know if Ash was drinking before he had arrived.

Misty seemed unfazed.

She just smiled at him and said: "Looks like we have a deal. You're staying and having some more."

* * *

In a few hours, the bar transformed into a club.

As drink piled over drink, the music slowly transformed from lounge and ambient music, to hip, beat-jammed songs that brought the crowd into dancing.

Gary hadn't had this much fun for the longest time. Misty and Ash would take him around, introduce him into interesting people, and even go to the dance floor. If it weren't for the vodka and tequila swarming through his veins, Gary probably would have never danced or ridiculed himself in such a way.

During one moment of the night, Ahs disappeared, leaving Gary with Misty.

"Misty, I haven't had this much fun in years!" He told her, voice uncharacteristically serious. Misty broke into laughter.

"Dear, I believe you're drunk!" She sniggered. "But I'm glad you're having fun! That's what life's is for; we can't have it waste away by sulking around.

Wasting away and sulking around was practically the summary of Gary's life for the last four years.

"Hey, I'm going to the bathroom." Gary told her. She nodded and pointed at a group of people.

"If you need me, I'll be over there with them!"

He reached the men's room, the music drowning away once he shut the door.

He was definitely a bit more than tipsy. Only looking into the mirror he could tell that he couldn't see straight. Gary couldn't even remember the last time he'd been at a party, or even drank.

One of the stalls burst open, and Ash stepped out. He nearly tumbled to the sinks.

Unaware of Gary's presence, he began washing his hands.

"Ash!" Gary walked towards him. "Where have you been?"

"Been around Gary-boy, been around…" His voice answered flatly. Ash didn't even look up from the sink, and finished washing his hands.

Taken aback from his hostility, Gary suddenly remembered the fear he had prior to meeting him.

_Is he angry at me? Does he hate me?_

Ash walked and threw himself onto a couch that was inside the bathroom, tilting his head back and placing his hand over his eyes.

Ash looked incredibly drunk. And he was.

Ignoring the warning signals in his head, Gary followed him, and sat down beside him.

"Ash…" Gary began, waiting for Ash's response. Said lolled his head in his direction and looked at him, eyes lidded and heavy.

"What the matter Gary?"

"Don't you…" Gary hesitated. "Don't you hate me?" Once again Gary found himself smoothing the folds of his clothes.

Ash blinked several times.

"Why would I hate you?" He remained unmoving from his spot, confused.

"Ash, we haven't seen each other since- since-"

"Since the week before they found me and took me to the hospital?"

Gary almost choked, remaining with his jaw open. He stuttered for a moment.

_How could he be so blunt?_

Ash burst forwards, eyes wide. Gary jumped slightly.

"Oh no!" Ash put his head in his hands, dragging his palms across his face. "Please don't tell me you're a case of immeasurable guilt?"

There was a moment of silence.

"W-What?"

"Please, tell me you're not feeling guilty about what happened?" Ash looked mortified, eyes watching out for Gary's reaction.

Gary couldn't even react.

"It happened to my mom too! And your grandfather! They _all_ felt guilty for not finding me any sooner! Gary, please understand, you had nothing to do with it."

Gary stared at Ash with wide eyes. Was he joking? Was he being sarcastic?

_How could he not possibly blame me when I was the one who got him drunk, who abandoned him when Ash was incapable of fighting for himself? It didn't even compare with the guilt that Delia or my grandfather could have possibly felt, I was there and I had EVERYTHING to do with it!_

Gary put his hand on Ash's shoulder and leaned in his direction. "Ash, I'm serious. Please tell me if-"

Gary lurched back as he felt a tremendous pull to his shirt. He was pulled of the couch and Ash's side, to be slammed into the wall besides him. He collapsed to the tiled floor with an 'oomph!'

Paul towered over him, a menacing look on his face.

"You and me need to have a serious talk." Paul grasped the collar of Gary's shirt and pulled him up again, leading him into a bathroom stall.

"What the hell is you problem-" Was what Ash heard before Paul entered the stall behind Gary and slammed the door to a close.

* * *

"Listen, you little prink, I don't know what you want from Ash, but I don't like you." Paul growled, his face merely inches away from Gary's. "I don't like you at all."

Gary pushed him away forcefully, sending him again the wall of the stall. Anger boiled in his veins.

"You don't even know me! Don't you fucking threatening me!" Gary glared at him with daggers as well, unwilling to show any trace of fear.

"Sure, I don't know you," Paul stood unfazed from hitting the wall. "But I've heard all about you. How you were a coward and didn't even stay for Ash when he was at the hospital. I don't know what you're up to, all these years later, but I know that that if you were truly his friend you wouldn't have done that in the first place."

The words stung in Gary's chest. This Paul guy knew exactly where to poke.

"What the hell do you know about anything?" Gary refused to show that he was affected.

"What do you want from Ash?" Paul demanded again, stepping forwards, snarling. "Why the fuck do you come into his life all these years later after being such a prink? Huh?"

Gary faltered, almost tripping onto the toilet. The stall was ridiculously small for a confrontation.

"It's none of your d-damn business!"

Paul huffed, crossing his arms. "What good could you possibly bring? Cornering him alone when he's drunk-"

"I didn't corner him!"

"-When you probably know he doesn't remember half of what he does when he's drunk. You're probably just looking to become his friend so that you can be Misty's friend. It always great to have a friend who's famous and can practically get what she wants, right?" Paul's words were practically dripping in sarcasm.

BANG! BANG!

"Paul! Open up!" Ash was on the other side of the door.

Paul glared at Gary one last time, before sliding the lock of the door open. Ash pulled the door open and grasped the two sides of the stall for support.

"Paul, leave Gary alone." Ash's voice slightly slurred.

"And you!" He pointed at Gary, movements garbled and slow. "You shouldn't wallow in guilt like my mother; you're not my mother!"

Paul furrowed his brow, throwing Gary a look before listening to Ash again.

"You have to understand; that I know what happened was my own fault."

Gary marched out of the stall, baffled. "What? What! How could you not possibly blame me? I- No! It was my fault!"

Ash shook his head, as if his ears were deaf to Gary's voice and misunderstanding.

"No, it wasn't."

Four year, blaming himself for something Ash didn't even consider bad; How could it be? Was it really not that bad? Was it really not bad that Ash had disappeared for a full week, unaccounted for, because of something Gary did? Was it not bad that they found him on the side of a road, half dead and left to die?

_Was it? _

Then something clicked in Gary's head.

'…_you probably know he doesn't remember half of what he does when he's drunk.'_

Then he realized. Ash didn't blame him. Ash didn't hate him. In fact, Ash didn't even know what Gary had done.

_He didn't remember._

* * *

WOOH! The first long chapter of bound!

I hope you guys really like this chapter! I liked it a lot. And since all the other chapters were short, this was a treat to all my reader and to those who review or add the story to their alerts. THANK YOU!

Anyway, voting has ended for Paul or Drew! Paul obviously won. But what's his role in the story? HUUH? Is he Ash's protective boyfriend? Is he really just a friend? And didn't Paul and Ash just to hate each other?

You'll know the later on in the story.

But you can still vote for:

Steven or Lance?

Ritchie or Snap?

In case it was confusing, Gary wants to apologize for causing Ash's whole deal with the hospital, but the thing is Ash doesn't remember that it was Gary's fault. How could this possibly be?

You'll know the later on in the story.

MUAHAHA

Ok. Sorry. Kind of hyper here. Anyways, Drop a Review! You know I love them! And thank you very very very very very much if you've added me to your alerts! They make my day (Reviews make my day too)!


	5. Nothing but Change

Hello, fellow readers! I'm sorry for the long wait! A few personal problems here and there stripped me of inspiration. But here I humbly present the next chapter of _Bound. _Hope you enjoy!

**Warning:** The word _asshole_ is used a bunch in this chapter, along with other frightful words. I hope you guys don't mind.

* * *

Chapter 4: Nothing… But Change.

Gary didn't remember much from his parents.

They both died in a tragic car accident when Gary was at the young age of five, and from there on, he was under the care of his devoted grandfather. But it was a long time ago, and Gary barely thought of it anymore. If anything, he was too young to understand the reality of the situation when it had happened. It was his grandfather, and his older sister, that were devastated. He on the other hand, never truly realized that they were gone until later in his life.

But at least Gary and his sister weren't left to fend for themselves. Professor Oak provided them with only the best opportunities, and their parent's death left them secured with quite a trust fund. A seemingly bottomless trust fund.

But never the less, there was one incident he remembered to some degree.

The wails coming from his ten year old sister as she cried over her broken toy, a toy _he_ had broken, sounded vividly in his head each time he recalled the memory.

"But it was an accident! I didn't mean to, mommy!"

The towering figure of his mother scolded him. "Go apologies."

Gary and May made their peaces with sniffling noses. He promised her he would never break a toy of hers again.

Several days later, Gary returned to his mother, crying again.

"But mommy! May won't lend me her doll!" Tears would stream down his puffy cheeks.

"Of course not, Darling." Her voice was gentle and sweet, her hands busy while doing some house chore. Whether it was cleaning the dishes, or making the bed, Gary couldn't remember.

"But why?"

"Sweetie, you broke her trust. She won't want to lend you her toy when she already trusted you with one, and you broke it." She'd say.

"But I promised her I wouldn't break anything of hers again!" He could remember the look his mother gave him, but not the shape of her eyes or her eyebrows.

"Sweetie, listen to me. Trust is like a mirror… You can fix it if it's broken." In his memory, her face was only a blur, time erasing whatever picture he had of her in his head. "But you can still see the cracks in its reflection."

His mother's words were practically engraved into his skull from that day on. Her point was reaffirmed once he had to work hard to convince practically everybody he knew that _he,_ Gary Oak, had decided to get over himself and stop being a snotty brat.

Gary thought that his trust with Ash was completely shattered though.

He'd imagine that mirror, smashed to smithereens and that now it was just dust, blown away from the years they'd spent apart. Unrepairable, unfixable, just simply gone to waste and that there was no way to even put the millions of thousands of pieces back together.

He spent _years_ beating himself up into a downwards spiral of depression and guilt, feeling terribly sorry of how things had turned out, and how he just made it worse by fleeing from that hospital that day. That day that seemed eternities ago.

_How could he be such an asshole?_

He marveled at how he could even reach that extent of _Assholeness_. Seriously, that Paul individual that he'd just met the night before, who now Gary firmly believed was a true asshole, a dick _and_ douchbag, could not even compete with how much of an asshole Gary had been to Ash several years before.

And the worst was… Ash didn't even remember. He couldn't remember what Gary had even done, and how it was all Gary's fault that he ended up in that hospital bed. It was his fault that the police found him on the side of a highway left to die.

But no! Ashy-boy couldn't even bring himself to remember. Just like Gary couldn't bring himself to remember his mother's face.

Gary took another swing from his coffee. He peered out of the coffee shop's window, eyes avoiding both the slumping figures of Ash and Misty. He felt like shit. Not only was his consciousness whirling, his stomach and head were also churching in disgust.

One of the perks of drinking when having a fun night out was the unavoidable hangover waiting for you the morning after.

But Ash seemed fine. He didn't have a hangover and he didn't remember what Gary had done.

Gary felt an unbelievable surge of envy, but soon returned to hating himself even more for just feeling that way.

"Wow. I feel like somebody took an ice cream scoop out of the left side of my brain." Misty mumbled, slouched forwards with her chin on the table and arms stretched ahead, coffee keeping her hands warm. Gary mumbled something in agreement, keeping his eyes low. The morning light hurt his eyes.

Ash scanned the coffee shop, as if checking if somebody had arrived. He then spotted the two exits the shop had, and clenched his hands once he noticed that neither door was open and that they both could be potentially locked.

"Do you think they lock the doors here? I mean, maybe not the entrance, but do you think the emergency exit is locked?" Ash asked.

Gary lifted his gaze from the floor and threw him a quizzical look.

"No Ash." Misty explained, unfazed by the oddness of the question. "If the emergency door was locked, then how could the people escape if there was a fire? I really doubt it."

"Oh. Ok."

Gary wanted to scream with frustration. He didn't even know _this_ Ash. The Ash he knew now was v_ery, very_ different from the Ash he knew from four years ago. His Ash wouldn't ask about doors and if they were locked. But today, Ash had already asked that question three times already. Once, when they dropped Gary at his place in the morning (_Does your door automatically lock, or do you need a key?)_, and also when Misty's driver came to drop off his car (_Do you drive with the windows down when the doors are locked?_).

The old Ash wanted to be a champion, but this Ash just seemed to rot away in his spot as a frontier brain. Hell, almost nobody competed in the frontier challenge, and Ash was barely a step in for Brandon, the freaking_ Pyramid King!_

And if any of the few trainers that competed in the frontier actually made it to him, he probably wouldn't battle anyways if Brandon randomly decided to come back from wherever he was. Last Gary heard, Brandon was somewhere lost in the Sinnoh Coronet Mountains.

The old Ash he knew seemed to be repulsed by the idea of alcohol, and from what he suspected, it was because of the killer hangovers he would get the mornings after (and the fact that Ash was a goody-two-shoe and probably hated the idea of underage drinking). The new Ash drank like a fish, probably threw up a couple of times over the night, and didn't even get a hangover the day after.

"Hey, Gary, I don't know when else to say this, but…" Ash trailed off, this awkward air about him. "Paul told me about last night. I'm sorry if he was an asshole."

Gary almost spit his coffee out on the table.

The Ash he knew didn't hang out with assholes. In fact, Gary expected Ash to not even want to see his face, since Gary was the greatest asshole of them all.

"Yeah, it's ok." Gary shook it off. He felt disappointment in knowing that his coffee was soon going to finish. He itched to ask Ash what his relationship with Paul was, but decided against it. "I guess he just thought it was weird we were hanging out after so much time."

Misty groaned, placing her hand on her forehead as she stood up. "You know what, I think you should make it un-weird and hang out again. _But meanwhile's_, I'm going home and going to try to sleep this off."

With that she threw her coffee into a trash bin and marched towards the exit.

"Have fun." She muttered. Then she turned to Gary, this meaningful look in her eyes. "I leave you in charge of Ash. He goes kind of berserk when alone." She pushed the door open and was out of the coffee shop.

The two of them sat there in silence. Gary immediately sat up and tried not to look so pathetic.

"So…" Ash looked him in the eyes briefly before turning away. "Listen, I don't mind if you hung-over and just want to go back home." He tried to chuckle. "And I don't go berserk when alone, that's just Misty who's weird and makes things up."

"Oh, that's nice for you to be concerned, but I'm really not hung-over." Gary lied, his prideful ways taking over of him once again. There was no way that Gary would admit that he was hung-over and that Ash, his former rival, wasn't. His hands flew to his unusually messy and tangled hair, trying to fix it without Ash noticing. Ash just lifted his eyebrows.

"Well," Ash snuck a peek at his watch. "It's still kinda early to do anything, though. We have a couple of hours to kill before it's even lunch time, if you actually wanna do something now."

Gary still didn't remember how Misty had convinced him and Ash to sleep over. Sure, Ash took over the guest room and Gary pasted out on the couch, but it was still the first time in a couple of years that he had allowed himself to do anything so… easy going.

The next morning, Misty's driver dropped them off at his apartment, and they strode to the nearest coffee shop for desperately needed caffeine. Gary hadn't even showered.

Suspiciously enough, Ash had clothes lying around in Misty's house, and managed to get showered and dressed before leaving.

"Yeah, put I'd rather take a shower before doing anything else." Gary said, trying his best to maintain his dignity. "If you want you can go home and we'll meet at my apartment. Or anywhere else."

Ash smiled.

"…Or you can just wait for me in my apartment while…" He couldn't stop himself from saying that. It was as if he was afraid that he wouldn't see Ash again if they parted now, he wouldn't see him and his (he would smack himself later for saying this) _adorable _smile again for another four year stretch.

The coherence of his sentence faded away once his caught a look into Ash's hazel eyes. Or were they amber? He looked away before he could decide, thinking maybe he was holding his stare for too long.

"Yeah, I think that's better. I would have needed to take a cab anyways." Ash looked down into his coffee and took another sip.

They walked down the block and quickly reached his apartment.

Gary noticed that Ash seemed to get tense and nervous as soon as the entered the elevator. He began tapping his foot and his restless eyes looked back and forth.

"You ok?"

"Oh! Yes, yeah, of course, why wouldn't I-"

The elevator beeped and the doors slid aside. Once the door was opened, Ash practically squeezed himself through before Gary had the chance to fully open the door.

* * *

Gary switched the shower heads off, feeling incredibly refreshed and no longer as hung over as he did before. He swallowed three Advils while drying off.

Through his whole shower, he marveled at how strange the whole situation was. Gary was naked, locked inside his closet, while Ash waited for him in the other room patiently. It sounded quite wrong, but it once again reminded Gary of Paul. Of the indigo haired man whose wrapped his buff arm around Ash's shoulders, so protective, so careful.

_Were he and Ash Boyfriends?_

Gary felt strange at the thought of it. He slipped on his briefs and a pale green shirt.

Even though Gary himself knew he gay ever since his teenage years, he still found it hard to imagine Ash leaning the same way as well. He just never got that vibe.

He pulled on his grey-white jeans. He quickly combed his hair with his fingers, and slipped on a pair of black tennis shoes.

It was particularly strange to just imagine Ash with… someone else.

_Man, if someone could hear you right now they'd think you're jealous._ Gary shook himself off, and proceeded out of his closet.

Ash sat at the couch, remote control in his hand. Umbreon lay curled next to his lap, eyes closed in pleasure as Ash ran his fingers up and down the fur of its back. Gary almost doubled back in surprise. It was incredibly rare to see Umbreon being something other than indifferent to a guest.

Gary coughed, getting Ash's attention.

"So, I was just thinking… It's still kinda early." Gary shook his damp hair with his hand, urging it to dry.

"Hmm…" Ash just turned back to the television. In Gary's mind, the oddness of the situation still hadn't faded away.

"Hey, I opened the door to the balcony." Ash's eyes were glued to the television. "I hope you don't mind, it was kinda stuffy in here."

It was anything _but_ stuffy in Gary's apartment. In fact, the air conditioning system was on at full blast, blowing away the hot summer air. And in the corner of Gary's eyes, he caught sight that every other door in the room was open.

"Oh, no prob." Gary shrugged, trying his best to keep his eyebrows from lifting.

"Hey, I got an idea!" Ash threw the control off to the other couch, and twisted in his spot to face Gary completely, pushing off Umbreon without realizing. The fox, made a sound of disappointment, and then jumped off the couch, ears low as the special treatment he was getting had finished.

"You work at the Saffron Research Center downtown, right?"

Gary felt this strange guilty, clenching feeling in his chest. Ash probably knew that because of when they had seen each other the other day, when Gary fled the scene without saying a thing.

"Yeah… what about it?"

"I heard the finally finished the pokeball developing machine! You know, the one where you can make your own custom pokeball without needing an expert, and it only takes a few minutes…" Ash trailed off. "Can we go check it out? I heard a rumor that it's not open for public use, but I don't know if it's true or not."

Gary suddenly felt illuminated. His old show-off self sprung into action. "That's right; it's not open for public use yet."

Ash slumped back onto the couch, disappointed.

"…But hey, I can get us in."

* * *

The drive to the research center was pretty short. On an early Saturday morning, the Saffron traffic greatly diminished in quantity. The sun shined merciless in the sky above them, but it was hidden as soon as Gary took his car into the garage's facility.

Gary swept his id card through a rather shady looking door, instead of taking the main garage entrance.

"Is this the staff entrance?" Ash examined the door, unsure.

"Yeah, and don't worry." Ash threw Gary a questioning look. "The door is only locked from the outside. Once we're in, you can go out whenever you want."

Ash doubled back, turning away to hide his reddening face. Gary also looked ahead, biting his lip. He didn't know if he had said anything wrong.

Ash forced a strained laugh. "I see you noticed my door-obsession."

"I thought it was more like claustrophobia." Gary led the way down narrow hall in a quick stride, looking for its exit. An anxious Ash was the last thing he needed. He pushed a door open and held it out for Ash.

"We're going to have to be quiet." He said in an urged whisper as Ash passed him by.

"Why?" Ash turned, worried. He barely recovered from Gary's claustrophobia remark. He seemed more focused on getting out of the narrow hallway instead.

"Well, I don't exactly have the permission to be in here." Gary sniggered, closing the door slowly as to shun the noise it made once it clicked closed.

"Whaat?"

They were now in a small control room, overlooking an oval room that dipping down into the ground, in a bowl-like way. Instead of a normal floor, the bottom was covered with metal panels with wires crossing paths, leading to a small column in the center of the room. Inside the control room, a small metallic box was tucked to the left.

In the middle of the column was a glass screen.

"What is this place?" Ash whispered, looking back and forth, searching for a tell tale camera.

"This-" Gary signaled at the panel bellow the window the over looked into the room. "—Is where you decide how you would like your pokeball. And there-" He pointed at the column down bellow. "—Is where the ball is made."

Ash looked beyond the glass in wonder. "I didn't know there was so much technology to it."

"Yeah, me neither." Gary said. He switched on a button, and in the room bellow a humming sound began emanating from the column. Between the metal panels, a soft light shone between the cracks.

"May I take your order, sir?" Gary imitated the voice of a waitress. Ash laughed, but widened his eyes.

"I just wanted to see the machine… Can we really make a pokeball? I mean, we're not even supposed to be here!"

"Nah, it's not like they'll find out." A screen on the panel switched on, providing with options. Gary figured that was where they decided how the pokeball would be. Ash came closer to him, leaning forwards to look as well.

The strangeness of the situation still kept striking Gary.

"How about we make it to both out likings?" Ash suggested, but the question barely registered. Gary was too occupied staring at the curve of his back, and the movement his hair made when he turned to look at him.

"Oh- Uuuh, let's just figure out how this whole thing works out anyways."

They spent a while flipping over the options, occasionally bickering on how they should make it (_'Ash, if we make it red, it'll look like an ordinary pokeball…''No! The design will make it different!'_) And deciding which perks sounded better (_'higher accuracy rate? Or Coziness for the pokemon's happiness?'_) and finally, after telling many anecdotes of different pokeball that they had used during their previous trainer journeys, they finally decided on the final result.

"So… Start!" Ash voice was filled with anticipation, his hesitating finger hovering over the 'initiate' button. He ultimately pressed it down.

In the room bellow, the room began glowing with different colored lights and the room became filled with movement. Along the walls, tubes seemed to send rays of different colors towards the column in the center. Inside the glass panel in the column, the distinct shape of something sphere-like could be seen.

Both Gary and Ash jumped back.

"Holy shit, that's making a lot of noise!" Ash looked back at the door nervously.

Gary's heart skipped a beat. Outside of the door, voice could be heard from a distant. "Shiiiit! We have to hurry somebody's coming!"

Bellow, a ball could be seen inside the column. On the screen, the words '10 SECONDS REMAING' flashed, the number counting back for each second.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." Gary pushed at another door to the right of the room, holding it open and motioning Ash to leave. "Let's get out of here!"

"Wait," Ash remained glued in his spot, the lights from the room bellow gleaming on his face. "There's only five seconds left!"

The voices became increasingly loud. Outside the door, somebody knocked.

"No, now!" Gary grasped Ash's arm, whose was now pulling something out from a the box that spilled white smoke into the room. He tugged at him, and second later, they were bursting round the corners of the circular pokeball-making room, running for the exit.

Moments later, a security guard pushed the control room's door open.

They had reached the exit before the guard could see their face.

* * *

"Fuuck!" Ash bit his lip and held his wrist in his hand. Then he burst into laughter again. Both of them panted in between their laughs. They we're at the main entrance, hearts racing as they now walked, trying to look inconspicuous. The woman at the reception desk threw them an odd look.

Once outside, Gary noticed Ash holding his wrist. Gary also noticed because he himself hadn't let go of Ash's arm, pulling him forwards as the reached the street.

He immediately let go.

"Ouch, I burned myself." Ash explained. The palm of his hand was of an angry red.

"How?" Gary asked, confused. His voice was still strained as he panted.

Ash allowed himself a proud chuckle. "Because I grabbed the pokeball, I did."

"Wait, you did?" A smile spread on Gary's face. He thought they had left the pokeball behind.

"Yes, yes." Ash said, proud. He let go of his hand, and shook it back in forth. With his other hand, he reached into his pant's back pocket. "It was scalding hot when I grabbed it, but at least our trip here wasn't futile."

Gary took it from his hand to examine it. It was incredibly shiny, top and bottom of a lustrous green color. The push button was transparent; The line dividing the middle of it was of a gold metal. On the top side, small blue strips lined in gold marked the sides of the ball.

"Whoa, it's actually pretty… Cool."

"Yeah." They walked into the garage again, looking for Gary's car.

Once inside the vehicle, Ash's lowered his window completely, pokeball in his lap. Gary maneuvered the car out into the street.

"You know, it's been a long time since I talked about my trainer days." Ash said lightly. When making the pokeball, both Gary and Ash talked about different occasion they had used different pokeballs.

Gary smiled. "Yeah, me neither."

He threw him a glance. Ash's raven hair moved in waves, pushed back by the wind. He looked out of the window, a faint smile in his lips.

"You know, I expected you to be different. Kinda weird and changed." Ash said, not looking at him, now holding the emerald pokeball in his hand. "I mean, we have changed, but I guess it hasn't been in a bad way…"

Gary nodded. Hell, of course they had changed. Gary couldn't help to notice how different Ash was. But then again people change, and forget to tell each other. Gary chuckled.

Ash wouldn't have had a way to tell him anyways. It had been four long painful years. Change was inevitable. But the morning had gone so different and so unexpected. A week ago, Gary would have never imagined himself in the same room as Ash. But somewhere deep inside, Gary thought…

_I think I'm ok with this._

* * *

Gah, long chapter.

Looks like Ashy-boy is a claustrophobic. WHY? If you're actually interested, you'll know why later on in the story.

Anyways, Thanks you so much for the alerts and favs. The only thing that could make me happier is that as you add this story to you alerts or whatever is that you also leave a review too! I'd love to hear your thoughts! Pretty please? Faster chapters in exchange :D!

But if your shy, and don't want to leave anything, its ok! I'm still grateful that you're even reading.

By the way… You can still chose who you want to appear in the story! Choose between LANCE or STEVEN, and RITCHIE or SNAP. Last time, Paul won in votes against Drew, but you can vote again for whoever you want! I'll count your vote even if you already voted.

Can anyone guess where the title of this chapter is from? (hint: it's the title of a song)

Love you guys!

~_NightLightNeon_


	6. The Ventilation System

Chapter 5: The Ventilation System

_Ash was numb all over. There was nothing he could feel. The blood dripping down his arms, he couldn't feel it drying on the cold floor beneath him anymore._

_He could only hear a distant sound, perhaps a voice._

"_Ash…"_

_Everything else was numb. Empty. Maybe this was what death was, a cold numbness that crept over until he would feel nothing, nothing at all.._

"_Ash..!" It was Peter's voice, that distant sound, the only thing that needed to fade away so he could finally sleep and die._

_That would be the end._

"_Ash… __**Wake up!**__"_

Ash's eyes flew open, suddenly awake. It was Peter's voice, waking him once again. He rolled onto his back, staring numbly at the ceiling.

On his nightstand, the alarm clock signaled the time. It didn't matter though. Ash didn't work at the frontier today. He could've slept in today, but he knew that sleep wasn't going to return.

He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, and then, in the darkness of the room, Ash brought his forearms up to his face. Scars were scattered on his skin, some the size of scabs, others as long as his fingers.

Ash ran his fingers over them in a distracted manner, squinting his eyes. He wondered if they were difficult to spot in the dark. He wondered if one day, somebody would attempt to count them.

On his nightstand, his cell phone vibrated briefly. Dropping his arms back to his sides, he rolled over and reached for it.

'Text: Gary Oak.'

He couldn't explain it, but a smile felt like it was creeping onto his lips.

It read: 'Call me up. We should do something entertaining today.'

Ash was about to answer, but a sound came from beyond his room. He dropped the cell phone, and twisted around, eyes wide, to stare at the door of his room.

It sounded as if somebody had just closed a cabinet, or perhaps bumped into furniture. Had he imagined it?

Ash always thought he kept imagining thing. He was never quite sure whether the shadows in the corner of his eyes were people following him or just that: shadows. Had he imagined this noise as well? Was just another figment of his imagination—

Ash inhaled sharply, the noise sounding again, only much clearer. Ok. Now he was sure he hadn't imagined it.

His heart began to pound; the loud and speedy beating overpowering his head. Ash crept out of the bed, and headed into his closet. Glancing over his shoulder, he looked at the door.

It was closed. If there was anything he hated, it was a closed door. He wouldn't have closed it. Or did he close it, last night, when he stumbled into his room drunk? He couldn't remember.

Within the last cabinet of shirts, he kept a steak knife. Ash found this much safer than a gun. He imagined himself with a gun: holding it every night in his hands, shooting at shadows and sounds. At least with a knife, he couldn't stab a shadow.

Taking a deep breath, Ash walked out of his room, knife in hand. From where he could see, the living room was empty.

He checked the extra room. It was empty.

He checked the kitchen. It was empty.

He checked the laundry room. It was empty.

Ash returned to the living room and put the knife down. Only then did he realize that his hands were shaking.

"_Fuck."_ He hissed, feeling very pissed off at himself. There he was, getting freaked because of a noise. Ash ran his hand through his hair, tugging at it slightly.

Ash gravitated towards terrace window. The sun was just hovering over the skyline. He felt his thoughts quiet down. There was something about the horizon beyond Saffron city that managed to calm him.

Right behind him, the noise sounded again, crisp and clear.

The tiny hairs of his neck stood up, a shiver ran down his spine. For a moment, he remained very still, not even breathing.

He swirled around, ready to attack, but there was nothing there. He choked and doubled back.

"What the fuck!" Ash tangled his fingers into his hair, breathing hard. Had he gone mad? Was it time for his mother to lock him up in a mental institution?

The noise sounded once more, this time Ash jumped in surprise. It sounded, again. Again. And again.

Ash looked up to the ceiling, eyes wide. It came from the ventilation system! It was now a continuous banging sound, it didn't stop!

He burst out of his apartment.

After retrieving the ladder from the shed beside his parking spot, he placed it into the service elevator, pressed the third floor button and bolted out before the doors closed on him. Racing the flight of stairs, he reached his floor before the elevator even got there.

Once inside, the noise had stopped. He climbed the ladder once it was positioned near the air vent and peeked inside.

Ash spotted nothing in the darkness within.

He returned, this time, a flashlight in hand. Inside it was like a miniatures maze. With his stomach churning, Ash remembered how he had many times crawled through ventilation systems in his days as a trainer.

Now, he would rather die.

He swerved the flashlight, towards the direction the vent went off to the center of the living room. There was something there.

Ash screamed out, dropped the flashlight, and stumbled back. Stepping back from the ladder, he fell straight to the floor, his back hitting flatly. The air in his lungs was momentarily squeezed out of him, and Ash remained paralyzed.

Recovering, he rolled to his side and coughed. Ash breathed in hard, struggling. It felt like a dagger had plunged into his chest, it was difficult to breathe. Not only because of the fall, but because was up in the vents.

The rotting corpse of a Pikachu had somehow found its way into the ventilation system.

* * *

Gary's cell phone was ringing. He slammed the water of the shower closed, miraculously stumbled out of the shower without slipping or hitting his head. Reaching the phone on time, he cleared his throat before answering the call.

"Hello?"

"Gary? Gary! Hey! It's Ash!" On the other side of the line, it sounded as if Ash was running maybe. He sounded out of breath.

"Hey, Ash. What's—"

"Listen, Gary? Where are you? Are you at your apartment?" Gary could hear the noises of cars and other people in the background. He was probably in the streets.

"Yeah, I am. Why? Did you get my text?"

"What? Text?" Ash didn't seem to know what he was talking about for a moment, "Oh! Yes! I did! Listen, I'm a few blocks away from your place, mind if I come up?"

"Oh! Yeah, sure! Common up." Before Gary had the chance to say anything more, Ash had already hung up. Gary stared at the phone for a moment, slightly confused. Then, he bolted out to get dressed.

When Ash knocked at his door, Gary had just finished. He opened the door.

"Hey." Gary smiled.

Ash didn't seem to notice. He walked in past Gary, breathing unsteadily, and slumped onto the nearest couch.

"Christ, Ash. Are you ok?" Gary closed the door, following Ash with concerned eyes,

Ash waved his hands back and forth. Gary didn't understand what he was trying to say.

"Agh. I'm sorry. I just took the stairs." Ash panted slightly. "Just need to catch my breath."

Gary almost did a double take. Ash had just walked 14 flights of stairs without a second thought. He chose better not to question him.

"Um. Ok." He sat on the couch before Ash, still watching him. He had now stopped panting, but there was something else. He looked worried. He looked fidgety.

"Ash. What were you doing around this part of town? Is everything ok?"

Ash ran his hair quickly through his hair, shaking his head. He took one deep, calming breath.

"Actually, I'm not okay."

"Tell me what happened." Gary wanted to move to Ash's side, but remained where he sat, unsure. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

Ash laughed, but there was nothing funny. He dragged his hand across his face.

"Could you… Could you lend me your shower? I know it's kinds random, but I just bailed from my apartment, I couldn't stay there, and I feel disgusting, I just grabbed a change of clothes and was out of there-"

"What happened to your apartment?"

Ash breathed in again. "Can I just tell you about it after I take a shower. Please?"

Gary watched him closely for a long, silent moment, as if trying to figure him out. He shook his head and got up from the couch.

"Sure." He gestured at his bedroom. "Go ahead."

* * *

Ash's hair hadn't dried yet when he finished telling Gary what he had found.

"It's just disturbing. I called your grandfather, to ask if Pikachu was with him. Pikachu's fine; I could even see him through the screen." He sat with his legs crossed in the same spot of the couch, eyes cast low.

Gary sat on the carpet, a couples of strides away from the couch Ash sat on. It was fluffy enough to not be uncomfortable.

"Well, It would have been a stretch for somebody to take Pikachu all the way from Pallet, bring him here and have a few days to.." Gary cleared his throat. "…to let the body decompose. Gramps would've noticed."

"I don't know, something just doesn't feel right about it." Ash scratched his head slowly. To Gary, it seemed like he was about to pull his scalp off.

"I mean, if it's _dead_ then where was the sound coming from? It was like—" Ash banged down his hand on the coffee table several times, demonstrating. "It didn't stop. Its dead! It can't make sounds!"

Gary narrowed his eyes, thinking. "Perhaps… Perhaps the body was causing the air to bend—the air of the ventilation system. It might have made a weird sound."

Ash shook his head. "I don't know – I don't know. Maybe. Maybe you're right. But still, there was something wrong. That poor Pikachu, it… it…"

Gary looked at him coolly, leaning back, arms propping him up.

Ash huffed and just said it.

"It's skin. Somebody had skinned it."

Gary didn't seem to react. Then he move forwards, and crossed his arms.

"It was… skinned? It had no fur? Completely?"

"God, no, but a piece of its forehead. Somebody had carved off a slab of its skin. It was horrible Gary,"

Gary shook his head, frowning. "You sure it wasn't just the body decomposing? Bacteria could of gotten to it."

"No, no, some sick bastard did that to it." A hint of angry was in Ash's voice. "It was in the perfect shape of a triangle. Sort of. But it was too perfect for bacteria."

They remained silent a moment.

"Gary… I think somebody put it there." Ash said, voice smaller than before. "Somebody killed that innocent Pokemon and put it there."

"Ash, why would anybody do that?" Gary felt shivers down his back. "Maybe some jerks got the poor thing, skinned it. It could of gotten away, and hidden in the ventilation system of your building. It could have gotten lost and died. May it rest in peace."

Ash had many other doubts in his head. Why hadn't he smelled it before if it the body was decomposing right above his ceiling? Why would a Pikachu be in his ventilation system when they weren't even native of this area?

He shook his head again, swallowing these doubts away.

Ash sighed heavily and stood from the couch. "Whatever. Maybe I'm just crazy. But I'm not going back to my apartment until it's out of there. The maintenance people said they would take care of it."

The kitchen of Gary's apartment was in the same space as the living room. It was a one-room loft in a good area of downtown Saffron, a lot of light got in through the windows. Gary liked the way Ash looked in the light, bright despite his gloominess.

Ash went in the kitchen and grabbed himself a cup.

He made a sound of desperation as he began opening cabinets, looking around. "Shit. Brandon is going to fucking kill me."

"Brandon? Your boss?" Gary asked, standing from his spot on the carpet. "Why?"

"Because it his apartment, I just pay rent to him. What am I supposed to tell him? There's a dead Pikachu in your ceiling. I don't feel like living there anymore—Hey! He's going to love that."

"But it's not your fault." Gary said, watching him with his head cocked sideways.

Ash stopped his pacing; unable to find whatever he was looking for. He placed the cup on the counter and sighed again. He ran his hand through his hair once more.

"Fuck, I just..." Ash looked up at Gary, who leaned against the other side of the counter. He let out a weak laugh.

"I just need a drink. Damn! I need to calm down…"

"Ok, ok…" Gary waved his hands. "Why don't you let me buy you a drink so you can take your mind off it? How does that sound?"

Ash looked Gary in the eye. Gary shrugged and smiled. Something in Ash's stomach felt like it was fluttering.

Ash chuckled. "Heh, why not."


	7. Slackline

Chapter 6: Slackline

Gary made Ash choose the bar, since he seemed to know more about those kinds of places than Gary.

They went to a restaurant tucked in the corner of a street a couple of blocks away. There were couches instead of chairs and a lot of people their age.

The waitress gave them a table on the outside.

"So, a beer for you…" She pointed at Gary and then turned to Ash, "And a double scotch for you! Is that right?"

"Yeah, thanks." Ash nodded with a smile.

"It'll be up in a minute!" She winked at him and left with a twirl.

Gary watched Ash watch her leave.

"So… " Ash turned back to him, slowly. "Tell me, what exactly are you doing in Saffaron? I remember you were getting job back in Viridian last time I saw you…"

"Oh! Yes!" Gary jumped in before Ash could say anything else. "It was all great. But I decided I needed to move forward. I was tired of riding off my grandfather's name, tired of working the job he found me… So, here I am. I applied for a job at the Saffron center of research, and I got it."

"That's very brave of you." Ash's eyes were set on Gary, as if trying to understand him.

Gary scoffed. "Yeah, well, it wasn't all about that. I didn't really like Viridian either."

Ash laughed. Gary couldn't help himself from smiling along, without understanding what was funny.

"Ha. I don't like Viridian either."

Their drinks came and the waitress gave Ash another wink as they left. Gary was beginning to not like her.

"And what else? Anything interesting happen? Are you seeing anybody?" It what as if Ash was on the same plane of thought as he was.

"Well, actually, there something I haven't told you…" Gary shifted around in his seat, reaching for a pack of cigarettes in his back pockets.

Ash leaned forwards, eyes wide. "Told me what?"

"I'm gay." Gary lifted the cigarette and exhaled a cloud of smoke. "Do you mind?"

Ash fell back into his chair, eyes slightly lost for a moment, before looking back at him. "Nah, everybody got they're bad habits."

"Bad Habits?" Gary lifted his eyebrows. "What are you talking about? Me being gay or me smoking?"

Ash laughed, though it sounded quite strained. "That you're smoking! You know, _bad habit_ like smoking… or in my case, drinking… Or were you asking that I mind if you're gay?"

"Well, if you minded that I was gay, there wouldn't be much we could do." Gary's voice was slow as he twirled a cigarette in his hand.

"Well… I don't mind… Not at all." Ash was suddenly looking straight at Gary with narrow, as if trying to understand something, perhaps analyze him.

Gary blew the voice of his cigarette aside, averting his eyes.

"I didn't know you smoked." Ash took a rather large gulp from his drink, finally looking away. "I didn't know you were gay either, always thought you were some kind of player."

"Yeah, I guess I didn't know some things about you either." Gary flicked off the ashes of his cigarette.

The different colored lights of the bar made Ash's skin glow in different shades of red, purple and yellow, but Gary tried to not look at him to long. It might have been obvious now that he knew.

"Like what? You know, let's play twenty questions."

Gary lifted his eyebrows.

"Twenty Questions?"

"Whaaat?" Ash threw himself back, surprised. "You've never played twenty questions before?"

"Imagine if involves twenty questions." Gary smiled at Ash's loop-sided smile.

"That's right. You ask twenty questions, Anything you want, and I _have_ to answer, but at the same time, I get to ask you twenty questions and you must answer as well. I know it's kinda lame, but who gives?"

Gary laughed, though something twisted in his stomach. He dreaded what Ash was going to ask.

"…Okay. Fine, lets do this."

Ash drowned his drink quickly.

"Ok. I'll start." He leaned in forwards, slowly and dramatically placing his drink on the table, eyes low.

He looked up. "How many men have you been with?"

Ash threw himself back.

"Pft—What?"

"How many men –"

"No, no! I got the question." Gary hushed him, turning red. "Do you really want me to answer that?"

"Well, that's the game." Ash laughed.

Gary shook his head. "Well, uh—common, Ash! I don't want to scare you off!"

Ash was chuckling, watching Gary squirm. "Fine! I'll let you leave that question unanswered, but the next one you're not off the hook! Go on, it's your turn."

Gary thought hard before asking. He had many questions, but they didn't seem suitable to ask.

"How come you never get hangovers?"

Ash snorted. Of course that was a stupid question.

"I do get hang overs. It get depends on what I've been mixing."

Gary's eyebrows raised. "Mixing?"

"No, only one question per turn. Um, let me think…" Ash looked hard at Gary, eyes narrowed. "…Are you happy?"

"Happy?" Gary took a rather large puff from his cigarette, waiting just a bit longer before exhaling the smoke. Ash didn't say anything, awaiting his answer.

"I think… I think happiness is relative."

Ash choked on Gary's beer, which only now Gary noticed he had taken.

"Happiness is relative? What the hell does that even mean?"

"No, only one question per turn." Gary mocked.

"But that doesn't mean anything!"

Gray smiled, biting his lower lip. He said nothing.

"Okay, okay. You're turn…" Ash shrugged.

"Um… Hm… Okay, what's up with Paul?"

Ash laughed, a smiled fondly, shaking his head. Gary did not like this.

"What do you mean 'What's up with Paul'?" Ash's eyebrows were high, and then he looked at Gary with suggestive eyes. "Do you like Paul? I guess he could be kind of sexy if you're into those 'cold and mean' guys. I mean, He's got great hair. Is that what you notice? The hair?"

Gary had choked on the smoke of his cigarette halfway through Ash's rant.

"God no! Paul? Not my type. Well, he does have good hair, but that wasn't what I wanted to know. I mean, when I met him, he was an asshole. We almost got into a fight."

"Mnm…" Ash chewed on a salt cracker from a plate in the center of the table. "So you want to know why Paul acts like something crawled up his ass and died, right?"

"Well, no. I want to know why he got all… _Possessive_ with you. Is he like that? Or is that just the kind of friends you like? Possessive friends?"

"Possessive Paul?" Ash laughed, scratching his head. "You might be right. Paul is kind of… well, possessive isn't the word."

He looked up at Gary, but turned aside to wave at the waitress and order another round of his drink.

"Paul is… What's up with Paul? You know, he helped me get out of a rut I was in. He… saved me. He helped me… and I helped him."

"So you two are sleeping with each other, in other words." Gary stated bluntly.

Ash choked, laughed. The waitress came, and left their drinks.

"You dirty little pervert. I hate to burst your fantasies, but no, we're not sleeping together."

"Common! How wasn't I supposed to think that? I help you, you help me, if you catch my drift." Gary put his hands up, shrugging.

"No, jeez Gary. I think Paul just an asshole in general to people in general. But you shouldn't judge people by their first impressions… Paul has had his fair share of shit to deal with, I guess that's just his coping method."

Gary said nothing, yet felt like he had been slapped in the face. He never thought of himself as judgmental.

"Anyways…" Ash swirled the drink in his hand. "It's my turn again. What… Where did you go?"

"Go? Go where?" Gary felt a sinking feeling in his gut.

"Four years ago… I was in the hospital…" Ash's eyes were low. "But you had left. Where did you go?"

"I… I went on that trip I was planning… Remember? That summer… I told you about it… and I went to Indigo Plateau as my first stop."

"Yeah, I remember. I just was never sure of where you went, that's all."

"Ash… I'm sorry." Gary felt heavy. "I should've stayed. I shouldn't of left."

Ash looked up at Gary, eyes wide. "No! Gary, you don't need to say sorry. You had been planning on leaving before everything happened. Life goes on."

"Still, I feel like shit. I should've stayed, I didn't know…"

"Gary, calm down. It's not a big deal, alright?" Ash tone changed, sounding irritated and tense.

Gary nodded, but still felt like shit.

"Ok, this game is getting boring. Let's stop." Ash grumbled, looking away.

"But I didn't get to ask you how many men you've been with!" Gary whined, right when the waitress was leaning over Ash to check his drink. Her eyes widened and she backed off.

Ash noticed and rolled his eyes. A slight smile returned to his face.

"What are you're plans for tonight? You doing anything?"

"Not really, I never have cool plans." Gary smashed the cigarette into the ashtray. "What about you?"

"I have to work." Ash pulled out his cellphone and checked the time. "I have to go… in less than an hour actually."

"Work?" Gary looked out at the streets. The night was just beginning to fall. "It's really late, you have to go work now? You should just say no to trainers that come this late."

Ash laughed. There was something bright in his eyes that Gary couldn't explain.

"Well, there's my job as a frontier brain, and there's my part-time job." Ash explained.

"Woah, are you a male stripper? I don't know who else starts working this late."

Ash snorted. "Don't be dumb, there's a lot of jobs with night shifts! I could be working the night shift at a restaurant, as a waiter, or I could be… I don't know, a bartender."

Gary laughed. "I bet you would be a good bartender. Be friends with everybody and know your liquor."

"Many think I have the potential." Ash joked. "I think I can make you any drink in the books."

"So, you bartend at night?"

Ash shook his head. Gary noticed the way the slight curls of black hair flung. All these tiny details about Ash were making his stomach feel tight.

"No, I decided I would finish all the alcohol in the bar before I served anybody a drink. I play the music instead."

"Play the music?" Gary's brow furrowed. He couldn't remember Ash knowing how to play any instruments. "When did you learn how to play an instrument?"

Ash laughed again. "Nah, I don't play instruments. I Dj."

"Dj? Dj Ash?" Gary couldn't stop himself from laughing. He remembered Ash having no taste for music, or no sense of rhythm at all. "Are you serious?"

"What? You doubt my musical abilities?" Ash cocked his head to the side, smirking.

"Well…" Gary looked upwards dramatically. "…Yes. I actually do."

He let out a laugh he had been holding in.

"Ok, I feel a challenge. I knew it! There always a challenge to you, Gary." Ash downed his drinks for the second time. "Come tonight to the club I work at. Watch_._ Me. Kick. Ass."

* * *

The club Ash worked looked like an old town house, inconspicuous among the others around it, except for the crowd gathering around its entrance.

Ash whistled at the bouncer, who opened through the crowd to let them through.

Inside, they were in a spacious, empty house. The walls had been painted with old fashioned murals of trees and bird pokemon, and the lounge furniture thrown around was classic and of golden hues. The antique vibe of the place was highly contrasted by the flashing lights coming from above, the dim atmosphere and neon signs hung around.

"Welcome to Slackline. I work here." Ash shrugged.

"I've heard of this place." Said Gary. "I never really came though. All this partying you and Misty do… It's not really my scene."

"Hey, but you didn't know how to have fun before we came to your rescue. Gary Oak doesn't know how to party. Who would of guessed?"

"Hey, just cause I don't know _this_ scene, doesn't mean I never go out… Doesn't mean I don't have a life." Gary huffed.

"Yeah, yeah." Ash waved him off and strode towards the bar. He greeted the tall, blonde bulky bartender.

"Igor, my man! How are you doing?"

Igor mumbled something Gary couldn't understand as he wiped the surface of the bar with a cloth.

"Let me introduce you to my old friend, Gary." Ash pushed Gary forwards and against the bar, as if he wasn't visible before. He turned to face Gary,

"Gary, this is Igor. He's the one in charge of keeping me away from the bottles. Isn't the right, Igor?"

Ash and Igor shared a laughed, but Gary couldn't help to but to feel Ash's hand still resting on his back, where he had pushed him forwards.

"So, I need you to hook Gary up all night, alright Igor? Whenever he asks you for something, you give it to him!"

"Sure." Igor mumbled.

"An give me my starter, won't you?" Ash winked at Igor, who just nodded. He went off to another section of the bar.

"Yeah, he's not much of a talker, but he owes me a few favors so he'll keep your drink full all night." Ash turned away from the bar to lean his back against it.

"Heh, cool." Gary didn't know what to think, except that now Ash's hand was no longer on his back.

Igor returned, and passed Ash a blue drink with a shot glass inside filled with red liquor.

"What is that?" Gary was genuinely curious.

"Its jagger and energy drink. Here, they call it a black pearl." And with that, Ash downed the whole drink in one swoop.

Gary watched, wide eyed. It looked like a drink you were supposed to drink slowly, not down like a shot.

"You sure you're going to be alright? I heard that it's bad to mix energy drinks with alcohol…"

"And?" Ash smiled brightly, mischievous. He placed the empty glass back on the bar, thanked Igor and led Gary towards the dance floor.

He waved at a purpled haired girl with a choppy hair cut, dressed in leather boots and a leather jacket.

She squealed and ran towards Ash to embrace him in a tight hug. Ash lifted her and twirled her around with a laugh before placing her back down.

"Ashy boy. Have you been behaving yourself?" She teased. She also had a raspy voice. Gary began to wonder his Ash and the people he knew had raspy voices because they screamed over loud music every night.

"Of course not." Ash assured her with a grin, lacing his arm around her waist. He turned to Gary.

"Gary, I want you to meet Harlow. I party with her when I want to get crazy."

"Ash!" Harlow punched Ash's arm lightly. "You're setting me up to have a bad reputation!"

"Ok, ok, I'm kidding Gary. She's also a DJ here. I play first, and then she comes in after me."

"Hey." Gary smiled at her.

"Hi! Do you have a girlfriend?" Harlow chirped.

Ash choked on air and burst into a laugh. "Don't even try it, Harlow. He's gay."

Gary felt himself going red and scratched his head, looking elsewhere, trying not to laugh.

"Whaat?" Harlow's eyes grew as large as saucers. "I love gay guys!"

She unlatched herself from Ash's waist and slipped her arm into Gary's and smiled up at him.

"You and I are going to have fun tonight!"

"Exactly," Ash chimed in. "I need you to entertain Gary while I go upstage and play."

He turned at Gary and caught his eyes. "I wasn't just going to leave you here standing on your own. Harlow here will show you around and what not."

"Cool." Gary patted Harlow on the head like he would pat Umbreon. "You look like fun."

"I actually have to get going…" He looked at Harlow meaningfully. "Julian doesn't even know I'm here."

He began to leave, but looked at Gary one last time. "Prepare yourself to be blown away."

Ash winked and turned away. Gary let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding.

* * *

Igor kept his word, and even extended his promise by giving Harlow free drinks as well. Gary was feeling pretty social; talking with all the people Harlow introduced him to.

"You knew Ash since you were kids?" Asked one of Harlow's friends. He was scrawny, bald and covered in tattoos.

Gary nodded, swaying slightly to music being played. It wasn't Ash mixing yet though, but Gary could see him on the platform above, where he set up equipment.

"Dude! Tell us! What's up with all those scars?"

His friend, dressed in a beanie and a hoodie said: "Man, they're like, crazeeass scars, all over his arms, his neck-"

"It was a pokemon right?" The tattooed friend asked Gary. "Ash was trainer, and you know how Ash is crazy – I bet he battled pokemon himself, got himself all cut up and shit—"

"Was that what happened?" The other guy asked, both of them leaning towards Gary, curious.

"Nah, it was nothing like that." Gary smoked out of his cigarette. "Somebody tried to kill him."

Harlow kicked at Gary's leg. "Don't say that! That's awful."

"I'm totally serious." Gary didn't know if the alcohol was making him be this blunt. "Have you seen the scar on his throat? It's like slanted to the side? It's because somebody tried to slit his throat."

The two guys stood dumbfounded, making stuttering sounds.

"Ooookay, me and Gary are going to the bathroom." Harlow said.

"What? You don't need me to go to the bathroom—"

"Ssh!" Harlow was leading him away from the guys. "I want to get away from those guys! They always ask me the same!"

"About Ash's scars?"

"Yeah!" Harlow stopped with a huff. "And you know, I bet Ash wouldn't appreciate you telling everybody about them! He never talks about it, and if you go around telling people for him—"

"Okay, okay you're right." Gary held his hands up, feeling guilty. "I shouldn't have said anything."

Harlow's shoulder's dropped and she sighed. A different beat started played up from above.

"Oh! Do you hear that? They took off the playlist! That means that Ash is getting started." Harlow explained. Gary looked upwards to see Ash, but Harlow took his hand and dragged him to the bar.

"Aren't we going to see him?" Gary wanted to go back to the dance floor. The beat that was playing was catchy and scratchy sounding.

"He's just getting warmed up." Harlow winked at him. She told Igor to pass them drinks.

Gary listened on intently. He had never listened to electronic music. When he thought of a DJ he thought about a song with scratch sounds in-between and a few parts repeated here and there. But this was different.

It was a beat, and if he was remixing a song, Gary couldn't tell.

"So what should we drink to?" Harlow held up two clear shot glasses.

Gary tried not to think of the hangover that awaited him tomorrow. "You chose."

"To Ash, for succeeding in not getting killed. How does that sound?"

Gary found himself snorting. "Sure."

They clinked their drinks and downed them. Gary recognized the sting of tequila. He screwed his eyes closed.

"Here! Here!" Harlow shoved a lemon into his hand. He instinctively put the lemon into his mouth, and the sting was calmed.

He opened his eyes, hearing Harlow giggling.

"Ok, if I wasn't drunk before…"

Harlow wasn't the only one in feeling this way. The shot delivered. Gary was now smiling stupidly, laughing with Harlow for no apparent reason.

And the music! There was a shift in the beat! It sounded… like guitars, with an electronic twist! Gary didn't even know he could like this kind of music before.

"Harlow! Let's go!" Gary urged her. He wanted to see Ash!

The club had filled up. The dance floor was now full of people, and the music was no longer appropriate for a lounge, but for dancing. The lights had also become darker, the flashes in sync with Ash's beat.

Harlow made it through the crowd with Gary behind her.

"Wow!" Harlow exclaimed. "He's playing really good today!"

Gary was in awe! He had never felt this way before.

Before, the music had been repetive, senseless… but this had emotion! He could feel the emotion, understand the feeling he was trying to convey.

Harlow took his hand, and she was jumping or dancing, Gary didn't care, but she moved to the beat, and he followed suit.

* * *

"Ash! I so danced so much! I never dance! Never! But, it just didn't make sense not to dance! I had to! Does that even make sense? Am I making sense?"

Gary was out of breath as he ran up to meet Ash, who had descended from the platform. It had been several hours since he had begun playing, and his shift had ended.

"You never dance?" Harlow shook her head. "But you danced so good!"

"One of my unused talents." Gary smirked at her.

"Woah! I haven't seen your trademark smirk in a long time!" Ash patted his shoulder, leaning into him. "I guess dancing was good for you."

"It was nice meting you, Gary!" Harlow hugged him. "You have my number, so call me anytime. I gotta be going."

She hugged Ash too, and departed to the DJing platform.

Ash and Gary watched her go, and then turned back to look at each other.

"So…" Ash began walking towards the bar. "What did you think? Did I surprise you?"

"Ash, that was amazing! I've got to eat my words, you totally rocked. I never liked this kind of music before, but I could _feel_ the emotion in it, like you really put yourself into it."

Ash scratched his head. Gary couldn't quite tell because of the dim lighting, but he might have just blushed.

"Gee, thanks Gary."

"Ashy boy!" A man with long, hair waved at him from a table in the second floor. He was leaning over the railing, and motioned him to come up.

"That's my boss," Ash said, and waved back. "I think he wants to talk to me. Come on, I'll introduce you."

They reached the man's table. It was filled with different bottles, and several girls and boys that looked younger than him.

"Ashy boy!" He greeted again, and stood up to meet them. "What are you on? You were great! Did you get your hands on that blue ecstasy?"

Ash laughed, strained, glancing at Gary at his side. "Not tonight. I'm glad you liked it."

"Liked it? Ha!" The nicely dressed man clapped his hands together. "I loved it! Wish you'd play like that every night. Don't be rude Ash, tell me who your friend is."

"Oh, yes! This is Gary! We're both from Pallet town." Ash motioned from Gary to the man. "Gary, this is Julian, the owner of Slackline."

"What is it with handsome men and Pallet town?" Julian shook his hands with a strong grip, laughing.

"Must be something in the water." Gary felt like Julian was going to shake his arm off.

"Well, Ash, whether you're on something or not, you chose a very good night to play this well. A few of my producer friends are here tonight, and they liked the way you sounded."

"What?" Ash's eye grew wide, surprised. "Are you kidding?"

"Not at all, Ashy boy, I want you to come and meet them."

Ash turned to look at Gary, smiling widely. "I'm so stoked, I can't believe it!"

"Well, come on, I'll introduce you." Julian put his arm over Ash's shoulder, and began to lead him away.

"Gary, I'll be right back!" Ash put his arm out towards Gary, but didn't quite reach him.

Gary nodded and watched Julian lead him away. He felt a strange surge of jealousy, watching Julian's arm over Ash's shoulder.

Gary used to call him Ashy boy.

* * *

When Ash returned, he failed at walking straight.

"Garee, let's gooo." Ash was speaking slow and slurred. His eyes were so bloodshot and his pupils were so dilated, Gary began to wonder if he had had anything else besides alcohol.

"Woah, Ash, you ok?" Gary grabbed Ash's arm as he stumbled forwards when he tried leaning against the bar.

Ash laughed, but latched onto Gary's waist. "Hehe, I just had a few drinks."

Gary wasn't very sober himself, so together they stumbled out of the club and into the streets.

"I think we can walk to my apartment from here." Gary scanned the streets around them.

"Gary, are you saying I can stay at your place?" Ash he smiled up at him, eyes heavily lidded.

"Yeah! You said you didn't what to go back."

"Gareee why are you so nice…"

Gary chuckled. "Ash, what happened with those producers?"

"They want to meet up with me, maybe hear me play again." Ash laughed again. "I have to be honest, Gary, I played really good today 'cus I wanted to impress you, you know…"

Gary felt heat rising up his throat.

They arrived at Gary's apartment soon enough. Once inside the lobby, Ash yanked Gary back by the shirt.

"What's wrong?" Gary regained his footing.

"I don't wanna take the elevator, Gary, the stairs are that way…"

"Oooh, no way, honey, we are not walking the stairs."

Ash stepped away from Gary. "I'll go on my own."

Gary grasped Ash's arm. "You can barely walk on your own! How are you going to walk fourteen flights of stairs?"

Ash didn't say anything, but suddenly looked dead serious.

"Listen," Gary led him slowly to the elevator. " Just close your eyes, It'll only be a few seconds.

The elevator doors dinged open. Ash took a deep breath, and nodded. They walked in, and Ash immediately pressed himself against the wall of the elevator.

Gary watched him carefully. Ash was breath slowly, his eyes closed and head low. His fists were clenched closed.

"Almost there…" Gary tried to reassure.

Once inside, Ash almost fell to the floor, tripping on the elevator entrance.

Gary rushed to catch him.

"I got you!" Gary laughed, falling to his knees but managing to catch Ash before he hit the floor face first.

Ash struggled to get on his feet. "Shit, I'm dizzy…"

"Come on, almost there…" Gary helped him up, and took him towards his room.

"Ash, you don't mind if we share my bed, because if you do, I'll sleep in the couch, you can have the bed—" Gary began; Ash flung himself forwards and onto the bed, dragging Gary with him.

They both landed with an 'omfp!'. Ash laughed wildly, but Gary remained frozen. Ash was underneath him, their chests pressed together.

"Ash…What are you doing?" Gary lifted himself up onto his elbows.

Ash laughed so hard, he threw his head back. "Ha! I don't care! I don't care that you're gay, we can share the bed…"

"Ok," Gary smiled lightly, but was still put off.

Ash couldn't stop laughing, as if there was something hilarious that Gary couldn't spot. Gary rolled off, scratching his head, while Ash clutched his sides in laughter.

Gary sat up. He couldn't help but be confused.

Ash kicked off his shoes, still panting from his laughing fit.

Gary got up a headed towards the bathroom.

"Gary, wait!" Ash lifted himself up to his elbows. "I'm sorry! You don't have to get mad, I wasn't laughing at you!"

He grabbed Gary's shirt and brought him back down.

"Look." Ash whispered, catching his eye. Gary had to lean in to hear him."I want to show you something."

In a slow motion, Ash's hand trailed up to the collar of his shirt, and hooked his finger into the hem. He pulled his V neck down, revealing more of his chest.

"Look," He whispered again, his eyes low on a scar that cut across his sternum. "Doesn't it look like… somebody was trying to cut me open?"

Ash's voice was so low, it felt like the whole atmosphere had changed to Gary. He watched Ash's fingers linger upon the scar for a moment, his own breath getting caught in his throat.

"Maybe…" Gary also whispered. The buzz of the alcohol was still there. "It's looks like… Heart surgery."

Gary's hand reached out unconsciously, and he ran the tip of his finger along the straight vertical line marked on his skin. Ash remained very still.

"I looks like…" Gary's fingers trailed up from his chest, and to his throat, where Ash's other scar lay. He began tracing along it.

"Somebody cut you open…" He felt Ash swallow thickly, both their eyes, on gary's fingers. "…To steal your heart."

At the very last word, they both looked up. For moment, Gary didn't know if Ash's would burst into laughter, but as he caught his eyes, it shushed all thought.

Silence, and their lips met.

In Gary's head, neon lights flashes, and a shrill filled his ears, his heart was beating a million beats a second.

They shifted together, Gary leaning forwards so both his arms were at either of Ash's sides; Ash leaning forward to press himself against Gary's chest.

Gary's hand found it's way to under Ash's ear, and for moment, he hesitated.

The kiss broke apart, Gary pulling away, but still holding Ash close. He rested his forehead on his. Ash's lips tasted of sweet alcohol.

Ash leaned forward to catch his lips, but Gary held him down lightly.

"Ash…" Gary didn't want to ever let go of him, but it tugged at his heart when Ash looked up at him with questioning eyes. He sucked in a deep breath. "…What are you doing?"

"I don't know." They still spoke in soft whispers, latched onto each other. Ash's hand reached up to stroke Gary's jaw. It felt like electricity. "…But I trust you."

He placed another kiss upon Gary's lips. Gary kissed back for short moment, before stopping again and breaking away.

"Ash, I can't." Gary released Ash, and tried to get up. He had this feeling that Ash would slip away from him and never return. "It isn't right. We're both drunk, I don't want you to freak out tomorrow morning…"

Ash grasped the collar of his shirt, and tugged him back down. "Shh, Gary. Don't worry about it."

He pulled Gary back down to meet in another kiss, but Gary pushed him off brusquely.

Immediately, Ash released him and looked up at him, eyes wide. Gary felt a stabbing sensation of guilt. He shouldn't of pushed him. Gary pulled away sharply, sitting up.

He immediately felt cold, Ash's warmth no longer against him.

Ash huffed, hitting his hands down on the mattress. Gary felt immediately taken aback.

"What's the problem, Gary? Didn't you like this?" Ash called out at him as Gary had stood and walked towards the bathroom.

Gary stopped right before entering the bathroom, his knuckles going white in his fists. Instead of thinking of a retort, he didn't turn and continued off into the bathroom and closed the door behind him.

Ash rolled over to his side, huffing in frustration. Alone in the bed, his head was spinning so much he thought he just might be flung of into the air at any second.

* * *

Thank you! Thank you! To all of you still reading, I'm happy that you still had faith in my story and that you'll give me a chance even though it's been abandoned for a time.

I love all of you that have fav'd me or the story, added it to your alerts or best of all, reviewed! It means the world for me! Anyways, voting is closed, thanks for your participation!

Drop a review. It'll ony takes a minute and it'll make me very happy.


	8. Cognac Acid

Chapter 7: Cognac Aid

Ash recognized that when he surpassed a high number of drinks, it became difficult to remember the entirety of what would happen the following hours of the night. The next morning he woke up in a bedroom that wasn't his own… In a bed that was surprisingly empty, given the situation.

To reconstruct the night before and ease his confusion, Ash tried to remember the earliest memory before things became fuzzy…

…He remembered… Finishing playing music, meeting up with Gary and Harlow... No, Julian his boss calling him from the second floor and meeting his producer friends! Ash now remembered with a pang of regret how the were smoking something that had been rolled up, and how he didn't deny any of it when the passed it to him… Thing began getting fuzzy by then… Did he drink that drink he they offered him?

…On the streets, Ash and Gary were tumbling their way to the former's apartment… He remembered tripping in the elevator, but not hitting the ground… He remembered Gary's bed… pulling Gary into the bed _with_ him (in Ash's chest his heart began to pound)…. The kiss!

Ash's hand slapped over his face with a groan. _What have I done?_

He remembered Gary pushing him away. Ash couldn't decide what was worse: the humiliation or the rejection. Why hadn't he refrained himself, why did he smoke so much and drink so much! Ash dragged his hands down his face. The worse of it was that Gary, _who admitted was gay(!), _had pushed him away, disgusted.

At once, Ash wrote out this day as a bad one.

Gary was nowhere to be seen. Ash struggled to sit up, a pounding accompanying the guilt in his head. _This_ is what he referred to when he admitted that did get hangovers… only when mixing (alcohol and drugs).

After gathering his things, brushing his teeth and moving around in a general lethargy, Ash proceeded out of the room, still dressed in last night's clothes. He had stalled enough. Ash knew he had to venture out of Gary's room, and face the owner of the apartment.

Thinking of his _own_ apartment only added to the churning in his stomach. Ash wasn't sure if he'd rather Gary still be there, so he could apologize, or keep some kind of dignity and find out that Gary had already left. Fortunately or unfortunately, Gary was pacing around his kitchen counter.

"Um… Morning…" Ash scratched his head, eyes squinting from the light that flooded in from the windows. He didn't really know what to say.

"Ash." Gary didn't even turn to look at him. He was drinking what looked like a glass of orange juice.

"So… Uh…. I hope that you at least had fun last night…" Ash tried to sound light hearted, but Gary still didn't turn to look or answer him. Instead, Gary swallowed thickly.

Ash hesitated, "…Gary?"

Gary set down the cup with an uncalled force, the glass making a loud bang against the metal of the sink.

Ash flinched.

"Oh, yes." Gary turned slightly, hitting the nozzle of water from the sink on and off with the same force. Gary rinsed the cup, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Last night was great!"

The brunette wiped his hands dry on a nearby hand towel and chucked it away. Ash stepped away as he stormed past him into the living room, completely avoiding eye contact.

Gary began gathering papers and materials from his desk.

"Heh, you know, the best part, is…. I bet you don't even remember the best part." Gary grimaced, a slight shake in his head. Frenzied hands stopped gathering things for short moment

"Or what do you say, Huh Ash? I am right? I bet you don't remember that you kissed me." He turned to catch a glance at Ash, eyes curious. "What? _Surprised_? Ha! I wouldn't doubt that since you never remember anything anyways! Ha! Ha _ha_!"

His laugh was awfully loud and punctuated. Ash's eyes were cast downwards.

"Gary, about that… I'm sorry, I didn't think you'd get this upset-"

"That's right; You didn't think. _How_ _can you_ think when you got that amount of booze running through you…" Gary grumbled, returning to stuffing his things into his briefcase.

"Gary, please." Ash rushed to his side, shaking his head. Eyebrows knitted, Ash stared straight into Gary's eyes; the stare instantly freezing Gary into place, files and papers in his hands.

"I know what you're thinking! I know what you think I'll say!" With Ash's every word, his flashing eyes made Gary's chest feel heavy. He stepped away from Gary's vicinity and began waving his hand back and forth.

"'_Oh Gary, I was so drunk last night, you basically took advantage of me_!" He circled around, using a mocking voice and exaggerated expressions. "Or perhaps, '_Gary, I'm not Gay, I was just using you to get rid of my fiscal needs."_

Ash stopped his pacing, reaching for his messenger bag on the couch.

"I get that you're angry about last night, It's just- I just- I guess I've always had and thing for you, and… and…" He threw a shifty look at Gary, unsure how to continue. Standing in the same spot, Gary's eyes slowly widened at Ash.

"…And last night you told me… how you were gay and I said nothing, I don't know why I didn't it, But I just went for it…" Ash stood for a moment, before heading towards the door. Gary followed Ash with the same amount of strides that Ash moved. "I'm just going to leave, alright? I get it, you don't like me— Or maybe I crossed a line, but…. I'm -I'm going."

With that last word Ash moved to turn the doorknob, but Gary grasped his arm; "Wait."

Ash turned, Gary facing him fully. They were such a close distance away, something immediately jumped in Ash's abdomen. Without realizing, he held his breath.

"What did you say?" Gary asked, voice low. Ash blinked several times.

"I…I'm leaving?" Ash leaned backwards into the door, grasping the doorknob.

Gary shook his head, his face softening. "No… That other thing you said… about… a thing…"

Ash suddenly could feel his own face getting red, from his neck up all the way into his cheeks. He scratched his head.

"I, uh… I've always had a, uh…. _Thing_ for you..?" Ash said, eyes looking anywhere except Gary.

Gary looked hard into his darting eyes, scrutinizing. A moment later, he slowly released Ash's arm and stepped away, a small chuckle escaping him.

"Ash… Don't go, don't just leave like that…" Gary said, suddenly much more relaxed than angry. Gary ran his hand through his hair, letting himself fall back onto his couch. "You were right, I thought you were going to say something along the lines of me taking advantage of you, but I overreacted."

Ash just stood near the doorframe, still red. Gary bit his lip.

"Don't just stand there, come here, sit down." Gary invited him, waving at the spot on the couch next to him. Ash looked unsure before finally stepping forwards. He slinged his messenger bag off his shoulder and slowly sat down besides him, very, very cautious.

"Gary… I don't want to be an inconvenience…" Ash said, casting his hair over his downward face.

Gary shook his head. "You're not… And what are going to do anyways? I thought you didn't want to go back to your apartment for some time…"

Ash gave a half-hearted chuckle. "Yeah, sure, the dead Pikachu freaks me out but…"

Ash's voice slipped away when his eyes connected with Gary's. His own eyes got caught in Gary's stare: blue-green eyes filled with golden light.

Gary's eyes slipped down, looking at Ash's lips. He was leaning in closer, but Ash wasn't moving away.

"…Did you mean what you said…" Gary's voice softened, eyes looking up to meet Ash's gaze from beneath lowered eyelashes. He reached for a dark streak of hair, slipped it back behind his ear. "…Just now?"

Breathless, Ash said, "Yes."

It was like gravity. A moment they were apart, the next their lips were locked in a kiss. Ash's arms circled Gary's neck, Gary hands were all over Ash's waist; It felt like a moment they were simply sitting side by side, the next moment Ash's knees were at each side of Gary's waist. There wasn't even time to think, it just happened.

The night before, it had only been a taste. Now it was the full-blown kiss, deep and somehow meaningful, almost desperate.

They pulled away, catching their breath. Ash delved in, catching his lips again for a short span, before pulling slightly away, tilting his head and then kissing him once more, again and again. It felt so good, so unreal; Gary was almost waiting to wake up from a dream.

Gary found a brief moment of restraint and turned his head to a side, avoiding Ash's kiss. Heavy and breathy, he whispered, "Ash…"

The former unfolded his legs from underneath himself and slid next to Gary's side, his legs sprawled out over Gary's lap.

"Yes?" Ash whispered teasingly, his lips against Gary's neck. Ash's lips trailed feathery kisses on the crook of his neck, in a slow motion. Gary's voice hitched in his throat, the whole sensation sending chills all over his body. One hand tangled his fingers into Ash's hair. He sighed; It felt springy and plush underneath the palm of his hand.

"Where are you going to go?" Gary's husky words tickled Ash's ear. Ash pulled back his lips from Gary's neck, and leaned on Gary's shoulder, sighing.

"I don't know…" He closed his eyes, Gary's fingers running up and down his hair felt nice and comforting.

Gary slid his hands down to grasp each side of Ash's ribs, Ash nearly laughed, ticklish. He sighed once more. "…I was trying not to think about it. Mostly I was thinking about how you probably hated me or how maybe we weren't on speaking terms…"

Their eyes met once more, locked. A moment later, both released a small laugh, and Gary brought Ash closer to himself to press Ash into a short kiss.

"Ash… Well, I was _obviously_ being a prick, since I _obviously_ do want to kiss you…" Gary scratched his head, a sidelong smile across his face. Ash laughed at him, shaking his head.

"…And I could've restrain myself a little from drinking that much, so… I guess we're even." Ash added with a chuckle.

Gary momentarily remained gleaming at Ash for several seconds, before darting off the couch, leaving Ash behind in a daze.

"Ash, don't go." Gary said in determination. "I'm about to make breakfast. You seem like you could use something in your stomach to reset your brain."

"Yeah, you're probably right." Ash was suddenly reminded of how his eyes looked in the mirror: surrounded by dark circles, squinting from the excessive sensitivity to the light. "But… I thought you were going somewhere."

"I was going to go have breakfast at a coffee shop… But I changed my mind and now I'm going to make breakfast here, _with you_."

Ash felt himself blushing once more as Gary prepared utensils and gathered ingredients from the fridge.

"Well, at least let me help you…" Ash offered, standing from the couch and approaching the kitchen counter.

"Sure," Gary caught his fingertips around Ash's wrist, and lured him close until their waists were close together. He rested his hands on Ash's hips. Ash seemed stunned, blushing and blinking.

Gary turned them together and pressed Ash forwards. Ash fell back into one of the sitting stools near the counter. Gary was so close to Ash, he could whisper into his ear: "I want you to sit, and watch…"

* * *

"Mm… Gary… So good… " Gary listened to Ash's words with a slight daze. The former chewed enthusiastically into a grilled cheese sandwich before swallowing with glee.

"I didn't know you cooked… But I did imagine that you probably did, really deliciously…" Ash nodded to himself, eyes half lidded in delight.

"You were imagining me, Ash? Really?" Gary teased lightly, resting his head tilted upon his palm. He really enjoyed watching Ash blush over and over again.

Within a few bites, Ash and Gary finished their sandwiches. Gary began cleaning everything up before Ash could even say anything.

"Ash, I'm going to have to leave now, but you don't have to go just yet." Gary finished washing the plates in the sink and drying his hands off. "You can use my bathroom, you can sleep a little more if you want to…"

Gary strode across the room, Ash turning in his spot to watch him gather his briefcase and slip on his jacket. "Gary, that would really mean a lot to me…"

Gary continued. "I don't know if you have any plans, but you can stay until you have something to do or I come back-"

"Oh, I do have plans!" Ash remembered, striking his hands over his forehead. He followed Gary to the doorway, taking his arm. "I was going to meet with Misty! But, I mean it Gary, This is really nice of you…"

Gary stopped right before opening his door. He couldn't stop himself from enveloping Ash in his arms and caught him in a forward kiss. With his hand smoothing across Ash's hair, Gary enjoyed that last kiss, unsure if this fantasy would end once he stepped out of his door.

With Ash's arms around his waist, they both pulled away from kiss but remained together a moment before separating. Gary opened his front door, and took the first steps outside.

Ash burst after him, placing one hand softly on one side of his jaw. Catching his eyes, Ash whispered. "When will I see you again?"

Gary smiled. "Whenever you want to."

* * *

"You know, I can't say I'm surprised…" Misty was smiling silly, eyes off in daydream. "Wow, Ash, you don't know how sexy that is."

Ash's face was completely red by the time he had finished telling Misty what had happened. He blushed even further at her words.

"Oh my God, Misty! How can you say that?"

They were both in Misty's grand closet, Ash sitting at her feet while she combed her hair.

"Hmm…" Misty faked contemplation. "Maybe because there's a thin line between love and hate, maybe because _he's always_ _been in love with you, _but you were always too oblivious to even notice?"

"What? Who are you kidding?" Ash was hugging one of Misty's pillows in his arms, his knees close to his chest. "Gary's never been in love with me! I mean, for a really long time he hated me! For the last four years he disappeared from the face of the earth!"

"No, _you_ disappeared from the face of the earth. Remember?" Misty corrected, modelling a dress in front of a mirror. "Not even your mother knew where you were when you went into hiding."

"Okay, Okay, maybe you got that right, but I doubt he's in love with me." Ash said, exasperated. "Even so… I don't know what any of this means. Misty I can't… I can't…"

Misty watched him, cocking her eyebrows.

"Ugh! I can't stop thinking about him!" Ash fell back, his back flat on the carpeted floor. His hands covered his face in shame.

"Aw, baby! That's so cute!" Misty squealed. "Then what's wrong, why do you look like you're in agony here?"

"Because… I don't know what he thinks of me! I don't want to annoy him—"

Misty's voice changed in dramatization. "Ash, _please_! The story behind you two is _so cliché_, it's romantic: Best friends since childhood, suddenly puberty kicks in and Gary starts getting the hots for you, and not for any of the pretty girls in pallet town! Without ever knowing if you could return his feeling, those supressed thoughts turned into anger! That's why he started hating you for no apparent reason! He didn't hate you, he hated that you couldn't love him back!"

Misty realized that Ash was watching her with a close-lipped smile and amused narrow eyes. She blushed.

"You've really thought about it, haven't you Misty. About us?" Ash teased her.

"I mean, a girl does have her imagination… But I know exactly what you can do for this situation!" Misty swiftly changed the conversation. "Invite him tonight to the party. Archer told me it was going to be a small get together, only his friends."

Ash laughed. "Archer the transvestite? That's where we're going tonight? That guy's so funny."

"Yeah! And you know him, anything he organizes is always very discrete, you wouldn't have to worry about people noticing you and Gary. There's a lot of other guys with guys that'll be there, maybe it'll inspire Gary to see that you are very flexible regarding the matter of having sex with the same gender as your own…"

Ash had to cover his face since he was blushing so hard.

Misty shrugged, but seemed encouraging. "You can 'test-drive' him, you know. See how everything feels… Besides, it'll be fun, I always have fun at Archer's, so what do you say?"

Misty plopped beside Ash, affectionately stroking his hair. "You should send him a message inviting him now, before it gets any later."

Ash took a deep breath and sat up, decided. He pulled out his phone and began writing a text message.

"You're right," Ash said, showing Misty his phone as he typed. "I'll send a text right now… and there you go. I sent it."

Misty shook Ash, smiling. Misty squealed and squeezed Ash's shoulder, who was feeling nervous like never before.

* * *

It was a twenty-minute drive to get to the house Ash addressed him to meet. Gary had to admit; he hadn't been going out this much ever since he was in his teens. When he went to finish his work in the laboratory in the morning, definite circles were under his eyes, but a stupid grin was plastered over his face throughout the day.

Gary wasn't sure whether he should call Ash, or perhaps wait, but that doubt was silenced once he got Ash's text later that day.

"Monari Lane, number 24, near the east exit. Tonight! 10pm"

After spending several days in Ash's company, Gary knew better than to drive. He caught a taxi on the road, which took him near the eastern exit of saffron city, near route 8. Monari Lane was closed residential area, one clean and straight road flanked by modern looking houses, astounding architecture. Gary was at awe as the taxi drove until the very end, to the last house. It was beautifully modern, a front yard with a wooden porch that was decorated majestically with exotic flowers, a water mirror between the front door and the rest of the yard, where a wooden path kept people elevated from the water.

Ash was waiting for him in the wooden steps, looking down at his cell phone, looking very formal casual.

Gary paid the fair. He stepped out or the cab and headed towards the porch.

"At least I know now that I dressed appropriately." Gary said, approaching and catching Ash's attention. Ash looked up from his cell phone and beamed at Gary, his face flushed.

"Gaaary…" Ash gave Gary a one-over, noticing Gary's sleek, all black apparel, nodding in agreement. He swayed closer to Gary, placing his hand on Gary's arm, running it down smoothly until the back of Gary's palm.

So close he could practically kiss Gary, Ash said with half-lidded eyes: "I wouldn't worry though; I think you're always sexy…"

Gary should've grabbed him right there and then, and kissed this obviously intoxicated Ash, but the latter burst into a fit of laughter.

"Oh no, I shouldn't have said that!" Ash said in-between laughs, blushing red and biting his thumb nail. "It's good for your ego, bad for my pride."

Gary protested. "Hey! My ego isn't that bad, I mean, compared to what it used to be!"

Ash hiccupped one last laugh, nodding at Gary with spangled eyes. The music from the front door floated out into the front porch.

"Let's go inside…" Ash guided them into the house. They were greeted by an expansive living room, at one side a dj played lounge type, relaxing music, and on the other, a bartender nourished the guest with drinks from the bar. Little groups of people were scattered about, eccentric looking and glamorous.

In front of them, the whole wall was made of glass, and outside was a pool that ended at the edge of the terrain, under which loomed over hundreds of meters downwards of nothingness. The view: Saffron city during the night.

"Wow, the view is amazing!" Gary said in awe, at the same time noticing Ash was standing very close by. His arm reached forward to sling across his hips-

"Guuuuys! Yay! I'm so happy you're hereee!" Misty seemed to bounce out of nowhere, both boys jumping in surprise. Holding two drinks in her hand, Misty past one over to Ash quickly, and then proceeded to hug Gary very affectionately, eyes also twinkling.

"Here you goo!" Misty handed Gary the other drink in her hand. "I'm such a good friend, I got you guys drinks while Ash went to pick you up! Cognac for both of you, only the best!"

Ash put his arms over her shoulder, hugging her in affection. "Yes, Misty, you're the best… Isn't she the best?"

Gary agreed, holding out his glass to her. Ash clinked his glass against it, catching Gary's eye. Only then did he notice Ash's eyes, or maybe it was because of the medium dimmed lights of the place. The were the exact same colour of the cognac they were drinking, velvety and rich…

An unnerving feeling of want for Ash swelled in his chest, and in one fell swoop, Gary drank the whole glass of cognac.

"Wha—That was fast-?" Misty watched him with wide eyes. Gary proceeded to put the empty glass on a nearby table. Ash laughed, which had Gary grinning from ear to ear. Gary reached for Ash's hand and pried him away from Misty, eyes levelled.

"Misty, please excuse me…" Gary now placed one hand on Ash's hips, staring at his face. "Let me steal Ash away from you…"

Misty crossed her arms, ogling them. Her tone was playful. "Gaaary! You dangerous feline! I cannot stop you!"

Ash smiled at her, shrugging. He laughed again, as Gary swayed him even further away from Misty, a dance in sync with the music.

"Delicious drink! Thank you, darling!" Gary called out to Misty over his shoulder, who mouthed out 'rawr' and motioned her hand like a scratching paw.

Leading Ash towards the other side of the room, he stopped and leaned against the bar.

"So, Ash… You bring me up here to this glamorous party, with glamorous people…" Gary said, watching Ash sip at his matching cognac glass. "…only a few hours after what happened…"

Ash said nothing, eyes slowly widening at the same rate as his mischievous smile.

"…at my place…" Gary teased, and Ash finally reacted, looking away in a flutter of blinks.

"Well… you know, I felt like seeing you. It looks like I got what I wanted." Ash finished the drink and placed it onto the bar's surface, a smug smile on his lips. "You _did_ come."

"Oh! I see… So are you… testing me out? Analysing and assessing me?" Gary played around a bit, standing all straight and posing like a model.

Ash's eyes gleamed. He laughed, remembering how Misty referred to giving Gary a 'test-drive' earlier.

"Maybe. You tell me; what am I trying you out for?" Ash didn't even skip a beat. Gary never even dreamed of flirting this way with Ash, so open and playful.

"Hmm, let me think…" Gary shot his hand out into the air, "Excuse me! Bartender!"

Gary twirled in place and said to Ash "Can I get you a drink? Will that help me pass the test? Bartender! Another cognac for this handsome man over here!"

Gary was satisfied when the bartender nodded. He looked upon Ash with questioning eyes, who was still laughing.

"Yes! That will definitely help you!" The music shifted into a faster, more danceable beat. The bartender delivered the drink, another glass of the rich liquor.

Gary handed Ash the drink, catching his same coloured eyes once more. Ash continued. "But, I was thinking of something else, as well…"

Ash shifted from leaning against the bar, catching Gary's hand. He led them into a hall where Gary could see at the other end another space for gathering people. Tugging at Ash's hand, Gary stopped him in his tracks.

"What are you thinking about, Ash?" It was darker in the hallway, but Gary could still see Ash sipping the glittering liquid, seduced by his eyes.

"I… I was thinking about you…you're lips…" Ash didn't have to say anything else…Gary pressed lips again his own.

Ash staggered, off-balance, and Gary pressed him against the wall. Their lips departed a moment, Gary looking into Ash's eyes, only to be pulled in by him into another enveloping kiss. Gary had been longing to touch him since before he could even remember.

His hand reached up to Ash's neck, slipping into his mane of hair. Ash gave a pleased murmur, which overwhelmed Gary with heat. Ash's arm wrapped around Gary's neck, his fingertips just holding the rim of his cup, cognac on the edge of being spilled on Gary's back.

* * *

It had been over an hour since Misty last talked to Ash and Gary. She had now seen them several times, attached by the lips or by the hips, talking to each other very close, eye's never leaving each other. She had to admit, the whole spectacle was giving her a tingling sensation in-between the legs. Misty had now caught herself staring several times.

"I mean, he's just so handsome! He's one of those guys that come and make straight guys go gay! No wonder Ash can't get off him!" One of her friends gossiped, watching from a distance.

"What does he do for a living?" Another of her friends asked, ice clinking in her glass. "Is he a model? Or an actor? I think I've seen him somewhere before…"

Misty laughed, almost spilling her drink. "What? No! You'd never guess what he does. He's a researcher. Works with Pokémon."

"Still, you can't deny he's sexy. Why are all the good men gay or taken? Is he gay, Misty? Are you one hundred per cent? What about bisexual?"

"I wouldn't know, I just know he's into Ash. _Ashsexual?_"

Gary and Ash were currently on a plush sofa that adorned the living room, the view in front of them. By now the party was filled with drunks, couples kissing and people acting crazy. Nobody even noticed them, except for Misty's group of female watchers.

Gary watched Ash, propped on one arm, while Ash had his whole back against the sofa, leaning back and looking up at Gary, both of them with gleaming, dazed eyes. Whether it was because of alcohol abuse or the general enchantment with each other, Misty couldn't tell. Gary stood to leave, hands connected to Ash as he stepped away, until he was to far and they slipped from each other's reach. Ash watched him leave with those same eyes. It was sickeningly sweet.

"Ooooh! Misty! Misty! Introduce us to him, he's gotten away from Ash! This is our window of opportunity!" Misty felt like she had no choice, as her friends carried away, diverting her eyes from Ash.

Ash was feeling very blissful. Gary and him had spent the whole night together, never separating until now. That, and the pleasurable feeling of being very tipsy was putting Ash in very nice mood…

"Ashy boy! My darling! My baby! How are you doing, love?" A blonde with perfect, cascading curls and very broad shoulders sat besides Ash. Heavy purple makeup decorated the lid of true blue eyes, with eyelashes that fluttered heavy, fake lashes at Ash.

"Archer! My friend! How are you doing?" Ash pat him/her on the shoulder, smiling. "Wonderful, wonderful party! I mean… This place is amazing, just fabulous!"

Ash had burst into drunken giggles when Gary arrived, two drinks in his hands. He passed a tall glass of bubbling transparency to Ash and had another dark, sizzling drink for himself.

"Ash, are you talking about this house? I agree, it's completely incredible. I mean, just look at that view! Wow…"

"Well, you sure have good taste!" Archer poked at Gary, mischievous as always. "Ashy boy, please tell me who this is."

Ash giggled some more, and looked up at Gary from his spot. "This is Gary… Gary Oak… My _friend." _

Laughter escaped Ash with that last word, eyes dancing back and forth.

"Oh, very well, you've got yourself a very handsome _friend, _my dear. My name is Archer, the hostess of this party!" He/she held out a manicured hand for Gary's.

"Very pleased to meet you! This beautiful house you've to here!" Gary shook his/her hand with enthusiasm.

"Oh, you're so sweet, but it's not mine! It's my boyfriend's. He's out of town, so he lent it to me so I could have to fun!" Archer said, as if nothing.

He/she ran a manicured finger up and down Ash's chest.

"Speaking of fun, I have something you might want to have a piece of, Ashy boy." Archer reached into his bra, which held his magnificent tits, and pulled out a baggy the size of a quarter. Waving the small, square plastic bag in front of Ash's face, within Gary could see a very small piece of square cardboard, a checkers texture to it.

Ash snorted, immediately shaking his head.

"What? You don't want a little acid?" Archer sounded surprised and disappointed. "I thought you liked to have fun, Ashy boy! I thought you knew how to party!"

Ash was still shaking his head. "Nah, Archer, I can't mess around with that stuff." Ash suddenly reminded Gary of a Rastafarian with his slow talking. "I mean, I'm already all psychologically fucked up – Imagine if I were to take that stuff. It would be just one long bad trip. Nop, I'm never taking acid again."

And that was his definitive answer. Archer mumbled something under his breath and proceeded to get up.

"Oh well, Ashy boy, maybe next time I'll have something else you'll like! I'll see you around, handsome kittens!" With that he bounced away to go find somebody else willing.

"What, wait a minute! Was that stuff LSD?" Gary was surprised. He had never seen that drug before. Ash sighed and nodded, his warm eyes looking out at the night view. He took a sip from his drink and choked, almost spatting out the drink.

"Ugh! What is this?" Ash looked at the glass disdainfully. Gary laughed nervously.

"It's tonic water, Ash." He chimed, but disliked Ash's frown. "Or do you want me to get you something else?"

"No! It's fine…" Ash shook his head, shrugging. "I mean, I can have a taste of what _you're_ drinking…"

He moved up to Gary, meeting their lips in slow, seductive kiss. He sunk back down into the couch, watching Gary playfully.

"You can have whatever you like." Gary murmured, diving in to enclose Ash in another kiss. He stroked his cheek, his neck.

Just barely separated, Gary slid his hand over Ash's. "So… what's it like? LSD?"

"What? Ash tilted his head, confused.

"I mean, what does it feel like? You said you would never do it _again_." Gary watched Ash, curious. He ran the tip of his finger up and down Ash's arm. "So how does it feel like when you do it?"

Ash seemed to melt away from Gary, suddenly deflated. "Oh, yeah, you're right." Ash's eyes suddenly glazed over, half lidded and unfocused. It was as if his eyes were observing something in another plane of existence. He was far away.

"Well… It feels like…Psychedelic… Like you're undergoing a psychological surgery… Like… The many layers of reality dismantle, showing you another truth, a different truth…" Ash's eyes looked almost vacant as he spoke, monotony in his voice.

Gary was unsure what caused the change in Ash. Worried, he grasped Ash's face a turned him to look into his eyes.

"Ash… You got all strange all of the sudden…" As Gary watched Ash close his eyes, it seemed to him as if Ash was pained by something invisible. Ash shook his head.

"No, _I'm_ sorry. I mean, I didn't try acid for fun, I just -that psychopath gave it to me when he had me prisoner—" Ash blinked several times, a shiver cringing his body for a moment. He began running the palms of his hands up and down his arms to warm himself.

"Ash, I shouldn't have mentioned it, Please forget it..." Gary wanted to slap himself. In his mind, he was banging his head against the wall.

Ash shook his head, but said nothing. Instead, he moved in to cuddle into Gary's side, eyes absently staring out into the night view.

Gary had always yearned for Ash; He wished he could explain to Ash just how much this moment meant to him. Gary had only before imagined Ash in his arms. But this only made the guilt painfully heavy, twisting and wrenching his stomach.

Ash had changed, and though he hated to admit it, it was for the worse over the last years. Gary knew it was all because of that night. Four years ago. It had left Ash scarred outside and within.

The last time Gary and Ash spoke to each other before that night, Ash had won the Sinnoh league. The dramatic battle between Paul's and Ash's Pokémon, which ended in the latter's victory and win of the championship had won Ash several sponsorships. Ash was set to travel to Hiun, to compete in the championship; He wouldn't have had to pay one cent. Yet… Ash never went.

"Hey, let's go outside…" Gary stood and brought Ash up with him from the couch. Ash mumbled something in agreement, latching on to Gary's waist, stumbling slightly.

Gary knew that outside on the porch it would be quieter and easier to talk to Ash. He was right: The music softened and the fresh air felt thinner. Guiding Ash, Gary led them to a cushion bench close to an outdoor chimney pot.

Gary swallowed hard, but knew he couldn't carry on with saying what Ash needed to hear.

"Ash… I just… I wanted to tell you something." Gary was sure Ash's eyes looked up to meet his before he went on, a twisting feeling in his gut. He felt scared, fearing what would come next. "I want you to know that… This… you and me… doing this… It's not nothing."

Ash blinked several times. "…What do you mean nothing?"

Gary shook his head, afraid of Ash misunderstanding. "I mean, _this, you and me_, I want you to know that this is not a one nightstand kind of thing for me. That's not what I want. I want you to know that you're not just some guy at a party, you're somebody that I care about and you actually mean something to me."

Ash opened his mouth, but was unsure to say. His face flushed and his eyes darted aside.

"I don't know what you think I'm doing, I don't even know what you're doing, but I really _really_ don't want this to stop tonight when we go home, or tomorrow when we're sober. I… I want to keep seeing you… _Like this…"_

"Gary, I…" Ash was dumbfounded, unsure if he was hearing right or if Gary was being serious.

"Ash, you don't have to say anything, but I needed you to know… I just… I can't do this… I can't do this if you don't know…"

"…W-what? If I don't know _what_?" Ash's brow furrowed, searching Gary's eyes. It only pained Gary more; he almost didn't have the courage to keep on going…

"Four years ago…" Gary began, but Ash immediately looked away, as if spotting something he didn't want to see. "That night… You and I were together. I… I got really angry with you. You weren't listening to me, I wanted to tell you something important and you were ignoring me, and it made me so angry…"

Ash closed his eyes, rubbing his hand along his face. He pulled his feet up onto the chair and leaned his elbow on his knee. Ash slipped his hand into his hair before finally looking up at Gary with glazed eyes, waiting for him to continue.

"…Don't you remember? I bought you all those drinks; I pressured you into drinking them all… I thought, that way it would be easier to tell you what I wanted to say but… You decided to not listen to me, you were intentionally ignoring me, acting kind of cruel… but that doesn't justify what I did."

"Gary, what are you talking about? What did you want to tell me?" Ash sounded a little put off.

Gary gulped down hard. He never thought he would have this conversation with Ash. In his chest his heart was beating so hard, he felt like he could barely breathe.

"I… I was just coming to terms with the fact that I was gay… I wanted to tell you, because all that summer we had spent it together and we were friends again like all the bad things I had done to you when we were kids were forgotten… I thought that if I told you I could finally get it off my chest… I would be happier… But I think all the drinks made you act the way you did, you didn't even want to hear me…" Gary was shaking his head, felt his voice on the verge of breaking.

"By the time we had finished, you couldn't even walk straight. You couldn't even talk right. We were outside when I finally had had enough. You fell down… You were so drunk you couldn't even get up… and I left you there. We were in a different city from pallet town and I didn't even care about leaving you there, on the streets… It was 3 a.m. in the morning and I left you there, Ash, how could I do that? I left you on the side of the road, powerless because of all the drinks _I_ made you drink and… and… because of me, everything that happened to you, happened to you."

Ash was staring at Gary's with wide eyes. He said nothing.

Gary went on. "And now… four years later… I have you here with me… I'm kissing and touching you but I can't keep on doing this if you truly don't know what happened four years ago, I don't want to fool you into thinking I'm this perfect guy, because _I'm not…_ I 'm a terrible person and I'm responsible for all those horrible things that happened to you… _I'm so sorry_! I'm so sorry and I really hope you can forgive me because I care for you so much and I don't want to lose you. I wish you could know how much this has been weighing on me, I wish you could truly know the regret I feel."

Ash was speechless, looking into the pool with a perturbed face, as if trying to make sense of everything he was hearing.

"Ash…" Gary reached for Ash's hands, grasped them in his own… "If there's anything I could do to let you know how sorry I am… If there was anything I could do to let you know what you really mean to me, anything I could do to make you understand _why_ I'm telling you, when I could've just kept my mouth shut… Ash, I just… I just…"

Gary was speaking so fast, he felt like he was on the verge of tears., squeezing Ash's hands with his own…

Ash pulled away from Gary's grasp. He still had that same, disturbed look on his face.

"Gary… I don't know what to think. I… I have to go… I… I just have to think." Ash burst from the chair, upset. Gary got up to follow him.

"Ash, wait!" He called, but Ash stopped him, holding his hand out, motioning him to stop.

"Please, Gary, just leave me alone…" Ash shook his head, not looking at Gary straight. It felt like a stab in Gary's chest. Ash turned away and walked into the house, leaving Gary near the pool on his own.

* * *

Gary had slumped into the chair for several minutes, trying to compose himself. His heart felt wrenched, in was painful even to look at the direction Ash had stormed off to. He felt his breath hitching in his throat, felt the corners of his eyes burn with a sentimental sting, but refused to cry. For several minutes he remained there, sitting with his elbows on his knees and his face buried in his hands.

He decided to wander into the house, looking to console himself. Ash was nowhere in sight as he headed towards the bar, looking to drown himself in a very long glass of vodka. How else was he supposed to get over this pain?

Archer spotted him as Gary failed to grab the bartender's attention.

"Hello, handsome boy. Where's your pretty partner?" The transvestite stroked the sleeve of Gary's shirt, but he took not notice. He grimaced instead. "Somewhere… elsewhere… gone…"

"Oh baby, I bet you're feeling real lonely! What are you going to do now?" Large lashes fluttered at him.

Gary shrugged, unable to even smile. "Drink myself to death."

"Woah, kiddo, don't get so down! It's not the end of the world! It's not even the end of the day! In fact… It's just the beginning. You know, earlier tonight, I was so rude!" Archer shook his head, as if ashamed with himself. "I didn't even offer you that tab of magical wonder. Do you want some acid? You know, it would probably make you feel better! You know, I always say that stuff is perfect for just making you laugh and laugh… "

Manicured nails once again pulled out the baggie for show. "It's much better than alcohol… So much more insightful… I'll give you half for free, what do you say? You look like you need something to… Lift you up."

Gary contemplated… Was it really that bad? Considering that it would make him feel better… Maybe it could help him forget Ash…

Gary took the baggie from the travesty's hands…

"Okay… I'll take it."

* * *

0.o

Ooooh Gary, you don't know what you've gotten yourself into! Lsd is a very volatile substance!

Yes, Misty is a fangirl. LIKE ALL OF US.

Anyways… I'd like to declare something to all you people out there reading this… this fanfic shall be….

CONTINUED! I refuse to give up on it! I apologize over the long, long wait… Lets say that studying architecture doesn't exactly give me all the time I would like to have to just write away… In fact, I should be working on my finals instead of doing writing this! But I can't leave my babies hanging anymore! OMG OVER 100 ALERTS? Thank you so much! The only way you could make me feeling more grateful is spreading out the word about the fic and maybe dropping a review! Thank you ! Thank you!

I'm commenting on this matter because one of my favourite palletshipping fanfics… One that many of you already probably know and love… In their last uploaded chapter the author told the bad news that she feared that she wasn't going to finish the story (she said she might post a list of what was supposed to happen instead)! Noo! But worry not, I know that my story may not compare to hers quite yet but if its any comfort I promise you guys that I will finish it… Even though it might take some time…

Anyways, hugs and kisses for you all! Thank you!


	9. After Midnight

Chapter 8: After Midnight

Ash found himself walking out of the house and down Monari lane. He was walking so fast, trying his best to avoid hearing the thoughts in his head. He didn't want to think.

_Why? Why?_

Why did Gary have to bring up that night from four years ago? Sure, everything happened a long time ago, but as much as Ash hated to admit it, those events still perturbed his head. Every single day, it was a battle in his own mind as he tried _not to remember_.

Oh God, it was so hard to not think about it. All the blood and the screaming and the filth… In the darkest days, it was painfully impossible to live without the past in his mind like a heavy stone.

_Gary… Why did you have to bring this up?_ Ash sighed. He was really, _really_ enjoying the moment, and then Gary had to mention that…

Then… What he said… Was it true? Ash didn't want to think about it. Think about the possibility that if Gary hadn't left him that night… Maybe none of it would of happened…

Ash shook his head. He could feel that anger and angst that he had worked so hard on getting out of his head returning. It was like a negative force that would suck the life of out Ash, he didn't want to think about, he didn't want to think about it—

He kept walking down the road.

* * *

Everything was unraveling. In a strange twisted sense, everything, every moment of Gary's life now had some kind of meaning. It was as if the world was offering him an explanation, played out straight before his eyes.

It was so easy to see, everything was functioning part in some great machinery, serving some greater purpose. Every person in Gary's life had his or her own function. Be it cogs or counterweights, attachments or levers, they each had their way of making the divine mechanism of the universe keep flowing. Yet…

A heavy feeling settled over Gary. Dark thoughts arose in his mind as his sight twisted and shimmered. Realization dawned upon him. Not everybody was a functioning piece. There were other forces in the world, forces that were meant to destroy, disrupt, demolish. Every pair of eyes that caught a glance at Gary had this look, as if they knew.

There was darkness, and there was light. There was good, and there was evil. There was life, and there death.

He was part of the destructive force, Gary realized. How had he not seen it before? His heart ached; it felt so heavy, it would surely burst. There was darkness within him, something evil that grew and flourished inside of him. Like a snake, Gary felt its scales slide within the confines of his heart, washing itself with Gary's fresh blood, spreading its infection.

Gary couldn't stand it anymore at that point. The flashing lights were burning deep into his brain, it pained him. The music was urging him to dance, but Gary couldn't bring himself to do it, fearing that his own evil would spread if he let himself go.

He fled. The house was all geometry now. He hadn't seen it before, but it was amazing how Gary understood the architect's expression. Lines and shapes, numbers and figures, coming together in a functional artwork. But Gary didn't appreciate it, he didn't deserve to. With his head hanged low, Gary wished he didn't see all the beauty in the world. It was like giving freedom to a criminal, undeserving.

Once outside, the fresh air enveloped him in its arms. Gary was less pained in the darkness, where only pools of lights lined down the rest of the street and the houses. With an air full of fresh air, Gary looked upward to the sky.

There was an ocean of stars out here, visible at the outskirts of the city. There were so many! Gary couldn't remember the last time he had seen so many of them, clustered together.

The stars in the midnight, the splendor of the moment astounded Gary so deeply, all the words in his head paused, all the hatred and the self-loathing halted to a stop, as if grounding him to _this place, this moment_, so his mind wouldn't travel elsewhere.

Then, the stars were spinning, or he was spinning, and the next thing he knew Gary was face-first in the ground, grass and dirt.

The moment was gone, and the darkness returned. There, with the taste of dirt in his tongue, Gary tore at the ground, as his wanting to dig himself a grave. Desperation and anger filled him. Hitting the ground meaninglessly and crying out in resentment, Gary finally fell still, out of breath.

The dirt was where he belonged, he reasoned, his twisted logic somehow making sense in his own, drug-fueled mind.

* * *

Eventually, Ash had to returned. Once he reached the very exit of Saffron city, he realized it was time to go back... He had left his wallet in his jacket, the jacket at the party. He needed the money for a cab.

Ash decided it was time to call it a night, his nocturnal walk draining much of his energy. Ash searched for Misty, wishing to say goodbye.

"Ash!" Misty seemed rather concerned as she spotted him. "Where were you?"

Ash sighed heavily. He didn't know if he had it in him to explain...

Maybe Misty could see it in his eyes, but she didn't ask him again when he didn't answer. "Listen, I know something went wrong with Gary, but you should look after him!"

Ash looked pained, eyebrows knitted and shaking his head. "Misty, I don't know, I don't feel like seeing him right now."

Misty grabbed his arms, as if trying to shake away his sadness. "Ash, you left and he's a mess! I don't know what to do with him-"

"I just can't face him right now, alright?" Ash cut Misty off, weakly shrugging her hands away. He couldn't explain why he felt so exhausted. "Its just every time I see him, he always does some kind of bullshit to me and I always, _always_ forgive him. I don't know why, maybe I'm just an idiot..."

"What? No! Ash, you forgive him because you're the nicest person I know." Misty offered a small smile, poking him in the chest, before looking worried once more. "I don't know what he did to you, but I don't think he deserves to be alone, not like this, Ash! I tried to stay with him but he really doesn't want me there and you know how so people can get when they're on acid..."

"Wait, what?" Ash's eyes widened, taken aback. "Did you say acid?"

Misty's eyes widened slowly, remaining silent for a moment. "... He didn't take it with you?"

"What? Misty, no! You know I don't do that shit!" Running his hand frenetically through his hair, Ash scanned the room for Gary's familiar hair. He was nowhere in sight.

"Well, what do I know? Your always either to drunk to do drugs or too tipsy to deny doing them." Misty tried to explain, but Ash was already storming off. She sprinted after him. "What are you going to do?"

"Find him. That stuff can be dangerous, especially if it's your first time, especially if you're alone!"

* * *

After searching the whole house, and questioning various people, Ash hastened outside. Straining his view to look down Monari lane, he saw nobody. Passing his hands through his hair in repeat motions and looking left and right, he spotted a path that continued towards the side of the house.

"Gary! No!" With a plunging feeling of fear in his chest, Ash found Gary standing on the ledge of a short wall that divided the land from the precipice below. Ash froze, holding his hands wide open towards Gary. "Get away from there! Gary, You're going to fall! Come back here!"

Gary was standing with his back to Ash, a solemn expression drawn across his face. He was looking at the stars for the last time, and observing how on top of the city, they faded away. The city outshined them. Gary wanted to look at anything, anything except at Ash.

Ash rushed forwards to pull Gary back, but as soon as his hands reached him, Gary spun around, shoving him away with a forceful push that sent Ash's back to the ground. Gary staggered, just about to fall away off balance, but regained his footing right at the edge.

"Gary!" Ash feared for Gary, just a step away from falling toward his death. He scrambled to his feet, unaffected by the shove. "Just exactly do you think you're doing? Clear your head! Think! You're going to kill yourself!"

"It should be obvious to you more than anybody else in the world, Ash! I'm going to get rid of myself!" Gary didn't want to hear Ash; his voice was like a baton slamming down on his ego, it hurt.

"Have you gone stupid? Because of one argument? Because I didn't have a retort for you this time _one time_?" Ash would have burst forwards and grabbed him, but Ash wanted to be cautious. One wrong move and it could all be over.

"No, Ash! God, don't act so oblivious! You know it! I ruin everything! Everything I know is wrong! And everything I do, it just comes undone, and everything is torn apart, and it's because of me, I'm cursed, I'm evil, I don't know! But this is it, this is it-"

Ash jumped on the ledge, standing by his side, and Gary was suddenly unsure of what was happening.

"I know it makes some kind of sense in there," Ash tapped his finger to his temple, his eyes looking striking and pale in the moonlight. "But I need you to talk this over with me, Gary, I can't let you do this."

Ash stepped forwards, once again reaching for Gary. Ash was glowing! Something underneath that skin of his was making every inch of him glow like a damn volbeat, the screws in Gary's mind giving away.

Gary stepped away. "Ash, don't come any closer. I'm going to fuck it up, I know."

Ash gritted his teeth. He growled, "You idiot."

Bursting forwards, Ash caught Gary's waist within his arms. Like pressured water leaking out a crevice, light spilled away from Ash upon contact. Gary freaked, immediately pushing Ash away.

"Ash! No! Don't touch me!" Gary wanted Ash to move away him. Even as Gary's hands tried to untangle him, wherever he touched Ash spurts of light escaped him like blood from an open vessel. Gary tried to step away, get away, anything.

"You fall, you kill us both!" Ash screamed, one hand around Gary, one hand trying to stop Gary's hand from hitting him away.

"Stop it Ash! I'm ruining you, stop—"

One of them lost their footing, and gravity at work brought the tumbling down. Both of their hearts leapt as their feet no longer were connected to the ledge, and then—

"Ommpf-!" Ash cushioned the fall, Gary falling on top of him. They had fallen toward the ground, not the precipice.

Scrambling away, Gary pushed at Ash once more, unable to bear all the light that still spilled from him. Bright and of warm colors, Gary was killing him, ruining him—

Grasping a fistful of Gary's t-shirt, Ash brought him back down and climbed on top of him, attempt to hold him down.

"You think I'm going to let you just run off, so you can try to kill yourself again!" Ash cried as Gary struggled incessantly, hitting and slapping at Ash, who tried not to get hit as he held Gary down.

"Ash! No! I'm ruining you! Let go! Get away!" Gary screamed, and in his struggle, his fist connected with Ash's right eye. Light spilled out dramatically, Ash staggered back slightly.

A sound of frustration and anger came from Ash's throat, and he threw Gary a punch to the side of his head. Gary cried out, and Ash managed to catch his wrists with a firm grasp. Ash pushed himself forward, now holding Gary down.

A last struggle came from Gary, as he slipped his arms across the ground, but couldn't get free of Ash. With one more desperate sound, Ash pushed down his wrists until they were firmly on the ground, near Gary's head. They both remained like that for a long moment, panting unevenly, muscles tired.

Gary had screwed his eyes closed, but slowly opened them to look at Ash. The brunette was still glowing, but it was dimmed, as he sat on top of him, still panting. He was looking at Gary with knitted eyebrows, piercing a heavy feeling into Gary's chest.

"Gary… Do you realize… You just tried to do the biggest fucking idiocy I've seen in my whole life?" Ash said, his raspy tone reaching Gary to the very core. Suddenly, Gary realized his head felt much clearer, but regretted everything he had to go through to clear it.

"Ash, I'm—"

"Shut the fuck up, Gary Oak. You don't even know how angry I am at you." Ash was glaring at him, just like the old days. "I've had it with yourself self-pitying bullshit. You say you're dark, evil? Hah! I admit, you've done many this to _piss me off_, but I've seen much worse."

With that last word, he released Gary with contempt, and slumped against the short wall, still catching his breath.

They remained like that; Ash slumped against the wall, Gary lying on the floor, for a few moments that followed.

Slowly, Gary brought himself to a sitting position. His train of though felt more lucid now. It was as if he had fallen into a mental pitfall and only now Ash managed to bring him back out of it. Still, he hanged him head low, deeply ashamed.

"Ash… I'm really sorry… I could've killed us, I'm sorry…" Gary muttered.

Ash snorted, rubbing his eye with the palm of his hand. Bringing himself to a standing position, he said, "Whatever. Let's go."

He waved for Gary to follow. The latter just stared at him, perplexed.

"What?" Ash snapped. "Get up already! I'm not leaving you until you sober up, you idiot."

* * *

Misty called a cab for them, but refrained from asking any questions as she eyed them wearily, with their disheveled appearances and their clothes all messed up from the dirt.

Gary was feeling giddy and strange. He'd felt a notch sober for a while after Ash struck him on the head, but now the acid was definitely begin to act up again. The flashing city lights before them coaxed an unexplainable laughter out of him, as if looking at bright lights somehow tickled him.

The ride back to Gary's place was awkward, but Gary struggled to stop smiling. More laughs escaped him as he watched Ash throw him killer glances in his direction, arms crossed and cornered against the wall of the taxi, as if trying to put the maximum distance between himself and Gary.

"What so funny, dumbass?" Ash asked, his voice deadpan. Gary just laughed harder, tears swelling in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I don't know why, I'm just, really happy." Gary stated, returning to look out the window. It was around it was a quarter until three a.m., yet Saffron city was still alive with lights.

As the view flashed before Gary's eyes, everything seemed so beautiful to Gary, but he didn't feel as guilty as before for being able to witness it.

Ash snorted. "You're just happy because I just saved your life, you idiot."

Laughing so hard, Gary's eyes began tearing up. Gary wiped the tears away, before turning to face Ash.

"Thank you, Ash." Gary said, managing to compose himself, but Ash refused to look at him.

"Ash." Gary moved closer, his voice out of nowhere going serious. He moved his hand to touch Ash's forearm. Ash flinched, only then turning to look at him.

"Thank you. For saving my life." Gary said, his eyes looking so deeply sincere, Ash found himself staring blankly at him.

A sudden overwhelming feeling of sadness washed over Ash, an ache possessing his chest. He turned away from Gary and shrugged him off. He tried to keep a straight face, but Ash couldn't help that feeling of hurt that returned as he looked into Gary's eyes.

Ash cast his gaze out towards the window instead, unable to look at Gary straight. Gary returned to his spot at the opposite end of the cab and they remained in silence, both peering out their respective window.

Once in the elevator of Gary's apartment, after Ash clenched his jaw and screw his eyes closed until Gary managed to clumsily open the door to his apartment. Ash threw himself onto Gary's couch.

"Ash… Ash… What am I supposed to do?" Gary had begun to walk around in a small circle, surrounding the coffee table before the couch.

"Go to sleep." Ash mumbled, his face buried into a cushion. He was exhausted.

"I can't sleep. There's no way I could possibly sleep now." Gary pacing increased in speed, he was nearly knocking into the furniture.

Ash grasped his arm, halting him. He looking up from the cushion and glared a Gary.

"Ok. Gary, listen. You've got to stop circling the coffee table, alright?" He spoke like Gary was a small child that wouldn't understand. With wide eyes, Gary nodded.

Ash noticed how there was just barely a fine line of green iris circling his extremely dilated pupils, a reminder of just how high Gary was. He took a deep breath and sighed, releasing Gary's arm.

"If you really don't want to sleep, why don't you get me something frozen that I can put over my face, _which you punched._" Ash reminded him, and lowered his face back into the pillow.

"Okay! Okay, okay, I can do that!" Gary was overly enthusiastic as he rushed to the kitchen.

Eyes closed, Ash tried to relax on the couch. As Ash listened to shuffle in the kitchen, several minutes passed… Gary was taking too long to find something frozen in his fridge.

Ash groaned, and brought himself up, his body heavy. He looked toward the kitchen, where he found Gary holding a fork and a spoon in either hand before him.

"Jeez, Gary, what are you doing?" Ash approached Gary and took the utensils from him and placed them back into the open cabinet Gary stood before.

"I can't remember… What I was looking for…" Gary answered, now staring at his empty hands before slowly turning to look at Ash, confused.

Ash grumbled something about a 'useless git' and went to retrieve something frozen for himself. There was a bag of frozen peas, Ash placed it over his eye, sighing in relief. He closed the fridge and noticed Gary was still looking at him, confused.

* * *

Apparently, Gary didn't know what to do with himself, so Ash dragged him to his terrace, sat him outside on his outdoors sofa that faced the city view and returned holding the bag of frozen beans to his face with one hand and a beer in the other.

"So… What do we do now?" Gary asked as Ash slumped into a spot of the couch.

"Nothing." He answered flatly, looking at the view of the city and not at Gary. "We sit here, and I'll make sure you don't get killed. You can put music if you want. I don't know. That's what people usually do when they're on acid. Smoke weed and listen to music."

"I don't have any music." Gary said, mortified.

"Well, we have some weed if you like." Ash shrugged. Gary was taken aback.

"Are you, Ash Ketchum, my childhood friend and rival, the guy that always did what was right, the greatest trainer known to man-kind, the time-traveling, boss defeating, champion worthy—"

"You're point?" Ash interrupted, unamused.

"—The kid that would never even steal from a bowl at the doctor's office… Are you offering me drugs? More drugs?" Gary burst into laughter. "Ash, since when do you carry weed with you? And since when are you okay with drugs and alcohol and all this partying, I can't even keep up with you—"

"First of all, I don't _usually _carry Marijuana with me. I was pissed off at Archer because he gave you that acid, I confronted him and he gave me a joint, as if that was going to make me happy." Ash sounded put off. "And usually drugs aren't my thing. I like to _drink_, in case you haven't noticed."

He held up his beer as if raising a toast with somebody imaginary before taking a sip. They remained in silence for a moment.

"So… How do you know music, LSD and marijuana are a good combination?" Gary looked at him with skeptical eyes.

"I don't know!" Ash snapped, annoyed. "It's just what people say. I mean, if you're going to be tripping for the next hours I just thought you might want something to take the edge off. Jeez…"

Silence…

"Will it be the same without music?" Gary asked. Ash glared at him.

"Seriously?" Ash's voice dripped with sarcasm. Gary got up from the spot on the couch and went inside.

"Gary!" Ash turned in his spot and called after him. "Come back! Where are you going?"

By now, Gary had disappeared from his sight. Ash slouched onto the couch, too lazy to follow him. " Jesus, he's probably going to get himself killed again…"

Gary came back carrying a large apparatus and a pile of what looked like records.

"Are those vinyl records?" Ash leaned forwards from his spot as Gary placed an old record player on the small table that was before the couch. Umbreon now scampered near his feet and proceeded to jump onto the couch and snuggle into Ash's side.

"Yes. This used to be my mother's. I think it's the only thing I have left from her. I honestly have never listened to any of these. I can't get myself to throw them away though. Umbreon was sleeping in my room and I woke her when I went to get it."

Ash grabbed a few records and read their titles. "Gary you can't find a bag of frozen peas but you manage to bring an old record player and bunch of vinyls without a problem. You amaze me."

Gary scratched his head and sat back down besides Ash. "It's like I get these lucid moments where I can see straight and think kind of straight, then its back to seeing kaleidoscopes everywhere and being confused."

"As long as you don't go into suicide mode again." Ash was deadpan serious with every word he said. Gary felt a bit taken aback, but knew himself was to blame.

"So… What do you think? We'll find some decent record and smoke the joint?" Gary offered.

Ash looked at him with a hard look for a long moment, before sighing and slapping his palms on his knees. "Alright. Let's do it. Beside, I feel like shit maybe it'll make me feel better."

Ash told Gary to choose a record and went to retrieve a lighter from the kitchen. He sat back on the couch outside besides Gary and pulled out a bent up joint from his pocket.

"Archer… That asshole… He's such a drug pusher…" Ash rolled his eyes before putting what looked to Gary like a really thick cigarette to his mouth. With a flick of his thumb, the lighter sprung a flame that Ash held close to the tip as he inhaled.

Gary watched him. He liked watching Ash. He wished he could watch Ash all day.

Ash pulled the lighter away and took the joint between his thumb and his index finger, a cloud of thick white smoke leaking out from his mouth and surrounding his head. He remained still for a moment, looking out with slightly wide eyes, before breaking into a coughing fit and spewing out the final amount of smoke out of his mouth.

He passed the joint to Gary, panting in between coughs. Even Umbreon lifted her sleepy head to look at Ash, who scrambled for the beer and gulped down on it, attempting to soothe the cough. The fox Pokémon scrunched its nose and jumped off the couch, returning inside of the apartment.

Gary just watched him, the joint smoking away in his hand, held in Gary's direction, lit. Ash looked at him, a questioning look upon his face.

"Well? Go on already, it's burning away!" Ash wheezed, his eyes now looking watery.

Gary snapped out of his Ash induced trance, and brought the joint to his lips, like when he would smoke a cigarette. Gary inhaled -

And the coughed so hard he dropped the joint to the floor. It felt like blood flooded into his head, but it was too fast, it was too much, and then he felt very… very dizzy… the view in front of them was spinning… he felt like he was about to be flung away from his spot on the sofa, into a sea of lights…

It took a few minutes for him to recover. Ash soothed his throat by offering some of his beer, and they both decided that it wasn't the best idea for Gary to do any more drugs. Ash continued smoking the joint by himself, looking rather indifferent and unaffected as he sat there with a beer in his had and the joint in the other, puffing away.

"Ash… If somebody showed me a picture of you right now… Five years ago… I would of not believed this was you."

"Oh, shut it already, Gary. I was an innocent little boy for a long time. Now the years have passed and I've been through a lot of _shit_ and I want to do whatever the _fuck_ I want." Ash said, but now spoke in a slow mellow voice, casually explaining the situation.

The record they had decided to put on was old and in a foreign language, a man with ukulele was singing softly, and Gary guessed it was a love song.

"Well, Ash…. You should do whatever you do want to do… I mean… You deserve everything you could ever want…" Gary hugged himself, feeling the outdoor chill, the song playing nostalgic strings within him. "…There's no question about it… you're the best person I know… You should only have to do things that make you happy… Not put up with dirtbag people like me, stay here as if you had an obligation, not when you so obviously want to be anywhere else but here."

Gary now turned to look at Ash, to find him observing Gary with a conflicted look.

For a long moment, Ash just looked at him, as if unsure of what to think, before looking off into the night once more. "… You're wrong. I'd rather not be in my apartment now."

The song played as they remained quiet for several beats. Ash puffed at the joint, which was just about to burn away.

"…Gary, I wouldn't be able to sleep if I didn't stay here with you." Ash took one last drag from the joint and chucked it away at the floor, which sent a flutter of sparks around before disappearing in the darkness. "So I'm not doing this for you, I'm doing it for me so it wouldn't keep me up at night."

Ash scoffed and looked down at his hands, restless in his laps.

Gary just looked at him, his face blank. The glow that Ash had grown before was returning slowly in Gary's eyes, he couldn't look away.

Shooting Gary a sideways glance, Ash said in a quieter voice, "Gary… I haven't forgotten what you said earlier… I know you probably think I'm mad at you, or whatever… But there's no way I could be happy about you being dead at the bottom of a precipice."

Gary felt forced to look away now, a feeling of shame returning. He brought his hands over his face, dragging his palms down until they only covered his mouth, mournful eyes looking up into the night sky.

"I don't know what I was thinking, Ash." Gary said, a twisting feeling in his chest. "Then again, I don't know why I did what I did to you. I guess that's where my train of thought took off. All my life, everything gets screwed up because of me. Ever since I was little, it's like I can't help myself. Everyone around me gets screwed over by me. It's all my fault. I just fail at life. That's why it so easy to jump to that conclusion: everything will be better off without me."

Ash leaned forwards and put down his beer on the table. The record finished and the air felt heavy with silence.

"…I know you're not exactly right mind tonight, but you're telling me that you've felt this way you're whole life?" Ash sounded incredulous. He was looking at Gary sideways, still facing away from him, darting his eyes away when Gary caught his gaze.

Gary took a moment to answer. "…It's true. You know it, Ash. Just remember what I've done to you. I don't even understand how you could be here with me, right now. Not I'm not talking about just tonight, but about my whole life. When we were trainers and everything. I would tease on you and treat you like dirt, even though you were the best friend I ever had."

"That was a long time ago… Forgiven and forgotten, Gary. I'm not even hung up on that anymore…"

Gary just shook his head and continued. It felt like something had ripped in his chest and all these words had to pour out at once, now or never.

"But still, before all that… I threw our friendship away as if it were nothing. I've always done that. To this day, I've never been able to have very good friends. Only these fleeting friendships that form while I'm at a job or somewhere, but as soon as I leave or don't see them again, the feeling disappears, and they're gone too. I guess Umbreon is my only friend." Gary chuckled slightly at that, but there still was certain sadness in his eyes. Ash watched him… helping much more by simply listening than saying anything.

"I guess… I don't want to screw up anymore. My parents are dead, so there's no way I could disappointment them unless they're watching me from above, or what do I know… And my sister, she hates me, because she thinks I'm the reason mom and dad died."

"What?" Ash's voice was full of surprise.

"Well, the night they died, they had gone out because I was sick. They were going to buy medicine, or something, but apparently, I didn't really need it. I guess I was just acting out or something, because my sister always told me that I was just pretending. I can't remember though. So when they died in the car accident that night, my sister never let it go. My grandfather eventually kicked her out for mistreating me, and I never saw her again. I think she's married now."

"Mistreated you? I never knew, Gary."

"She would drag my by the hair and lock me in a closet, things like that. She would grab my wrists and _twist_ so hard it hurt. Pushed me down. She always threw my food away, and since my grandfather was always working, he never had lunch with us, he never noticed. I was just a toddler back then. When she was ten, my grandfather forced her to become a trainer, when he eventually figured out why I had these stomach problems…"

"Wow, I guess that why I've never met her…"

"Well, I don't remember much of her in the first place, only the painful parts. I guess I understand her now, though. She just hated me so much because she thought it was my fault that our parents were dead, I get it."

"But blaming you for something like that when you were just a child! You can't possibly think that it was ok!"

"Well, it's in the past now. After that, my grandfather just pampered me a lot. I guess he felt bad, because he didn't notice what was going on. I became all obnoxious and _annoying_. I just wanted to think I was special someway, think that I was better than other people. That made me feel better about everything. But eventually, I was just becoming a snotty brat."

"Imagine that this was around the time we became trainers… right?" Ash spoke softly, transfixed on Gary.

Gary nodded. "Right… Everything just got worse when I began to realize I was gay. All those cheerleaders did _nothing for me_."

Ash laughed at this. "I don't even know how you got all those girls to follow you around."

Gary half smiled. Ash felt a bit better at seeing a sign of happiness on Gary's face.

"Yeah, well, half of it was because I was really cute, the other half was because I was really loaded." Gary became bitter once more, frowning. "Money can go a long way for getting you _friends."_

He said the last words, making quotation mark signs with his fingers. Ash frowned.

"Well, anyways. I'm gay." Gary said, getting back to his point, stating it quite bluntly with a shrug. Ash couldn't help to smile weakly.

"Aaaand my grandfather hates gay people. Just another person I've disappointed in my life. I think he always knew, or suspected it, but always denied it. He was really proud of me when I decided to be a researcher. But the next thing I know, he sends me to this island with professor Ivy, and her three lab assistant chicks. I mean, I admit it; they were hot, if you swing that way. But it was so obvious what he was trying to do. He really, _really_ wanted me to be straight."

Gary took a deep breathed, and carried on.

"Well, he had to find out eventually, the hard way. He walked in on my with another guy while he came to visit me in Sinnoh."

Ash slapped his hands onto his face, dragging his palms down. "Oh, God, no!"

Gary bit his lip, holding in a laugh. "It was kind of funny. We weren't having sex or anything, _Oh God I don't ever want my grandfather walking in on me my while having sex_, but it was still horrible. We were making out, and the next thing I know, my grandfather is dragging me out of the room by my shirt, screaming his lungs out. That guy was my first boyfriend, you know. I wasn't _in love_ with him, but I was still pretty happy that I had managed to find _another guy_. Either way, my grandfather _made me _break up with him."

"No!" Ash exclaimed.

Gary looked quite ashamed. "Yeah, it was pretty bad. I wasn't eighteen yet; my grandfather had control over my trust fund. That was pretty much my excuse; I was just too scared to break away from him. But it wasn't just because of that. I couldn't do it. He's my only family after all."

Ash bit his lip, unsure of what to say.

"Anyways, gramps never mentioned it again. I think he thought it was a _phase_ or something. Either way, I turned eighteen, and now I'm not afraid of him finding out anymore. I've actually told him, reminded him. But he acts oblivious each time, like he forgets! It amazing, what denial can do. Now everybody in the researching community knows, he has to have heard it at least from somebody else by now. Every time we talk, he can't really look me in the eye. Well, at least that's better than losing him completely."

"Gee, Gary, I never knew professor Oak could be like that, he was always so nice…" Ash's eyebrows were knitted.

"I can't keep on doing this. I have to stop, I don't want the people I love to hate me anymore. I don't want anybody else, disappointed. I've had it. So far, everybody that could ever possibly love me hates me in someway. My sister wants me dead for all I know, my grandfather can't even look at me and I've betrayed my only best friend I ever had. I never wanted another best friend after you. It was always you. You know they say friends are god's way for making up for your family, but I screwed that up too."

A silence invaded the air, which felt thick. To Gary, he felt like a buckets had tipped over, and everything had spilled out. He felt somewhat empty, a heaviness that was punctured the absence of something within him.

Suddenly, Ash slung himself forwards, wrapping his arms around Gary's chest in an embrace. Gray flinched, surprised by the sudden movement, his heart skipping a beat.

Ash bit his lip, but Gary couldn't see. Black hair tickled his chin, one half of Ash's face pressed against his chest.

"…W-what are you doing?" Gary whispered, unable to move in Ash's hold.

"I-I don't know." Ash answered, screwing his eyes closed. "I felt like you really needed a hug.

Gary bit his lip. His eyes stung slightly. He took a deep, unsteady breath.

They stayed like that, in silence. Eventually, Gary reached up one hand and rested it on Ash's head, fingers buried in his hair.

Everything was getting jumbled up, everything; absolutely everything was breathing and glowing. Gary's heart was beating loudly, and he wondered if Ash could hear it.

* * *

The cold awoke them both, along with the first rays of early morning light. Ash and Gary were slouching against one side of the outdoor sofa, Gary's head lying on the arm recliner, and Ash wasresting over Gary's arm.

They got up in lethargic movements, their bodies hurting from the strained position they had sleep in. It was so cold outside, their breath was visible in little white clouds. They entered the apartment in an automatic-like state, shivering, and collapsed on the bed.

Somehow, Gary managed to pull the sheets over them, and in a blink of an eye, they were asleep once more.

* * *

Reality was still garbled later in the morning. Gary awoke to sound of rustling sheets and shifting weight on the bed. He was facing away from Ash, but knew that he had gotten up from the bed due to the absence of his heat and weight.

Gary remained frozen, somehow unable to turn around and see where the latter had left. His limbs felt locked into place; he couldn't even crane his neck to see. A heavy feeling settled in Gary's chest.

_Did he leave?_

Gary couldn't face the reality. Ash was probably sneaking away, looking for his opportunity to leave before Gary awoke, so that he wouldn't have to face him in the morning. It was the only logical explanation…

The sound of a flushing toilet was heard, a door swung open, follow by the sound of light steps coming closers. The bed sunk as Ash climbed back inside, a slight whoosh or air made Gary's skin goose bump as Ash lifted the sheets and pulled them over himself.

Gary released a breath that he didn't even realize he was holding. Ash pressed into Gary's back, his forehead resting on a spot just bellow Gary's neck.

The immobility abandoned Gary. He turned slightly, as if to check what was happening was really true.

"…Ash?" Gary whispered, his voice groggy and croaked.

"Shh…" Ash merely swung his arm lightly around Gary's waist, hiding his face against Gary's back. "Go to sleep… It's still early…"

His voice was barely a sigh.

"Last night…" Gary spoke faintly, still trying to turn and spot Ash. Only a black mass of hair was slightly visible in his peripheral view, and the line of his body. Ash had no shirt on.

"Last night was crazy…" Ash mumbled against his skin. A shiver traveled across Gary's spine, and he gave up on seeing Ash clearly. He eyes felt heavy and his mind was a muddled mess.

"Please… Just sleep…"

That was the last thing Gary heard before sleep claimed him once more.

* * *

A/N:

Hello, fellow readers! As always, I'm happy to be getting your story alerts and reviews! I hope I didn't take too long to write up this chapter. I've discovered that sitting on my bed with my laptop make my productivity levels go down to zero. I literally had to sit down on my desk and squeeze this chapter out of me. So there you have it! Chapter 9!

I can't believe it took nine chapters to get to this point… the point of no return. I have to be honest. I feel like the real plot will only begin after this chapter. All the chapters previous to this have been a set up, a way for me to establish the story so it can finally move into the conflicting stages… I'm sorry I had to put all of you through these chapters just to get here. Sometimes I wish I had a beta, maybe things would have gone a lot smoother. I'm even thinking of going back and fixing a few things here and there…

Anyways, I've already started the next chapter. FINALLY! You know when you got this story in your head, but you have to go through writing the first few chapters before you actually get to write what you've always been thinking of? Well that moment is almost here! No more time to think about it, once I write it out and publish it, I can't change it anymore. Ahh! I'm so nervous! The next chapters will have an excuse for this story being M rated. So far, nothing too bad has happened… Yet. Well, I don't want to scare any of you guys off!

Thank you for your kind reviewing words! Thank you for all the favorites and followers, I hope I won't let you down!


	10. Alone

Chapter 9: Alone

Blaring music woke Gary up with a jolt.

He scrambled around the bed, heart pounding at the scare. With bleary eyes, Gary searched, left, right, but Ash wasn't in the bed with him.

Gary reached the living room. Ash was sitting at the counter sipping from a glass wine, unaware of his entrance.

"Ash? Jesus, turn it down!" Gary pleaded, yelling above the music. He could barely hear himself.

Ash turned around to spot Gary. He was looking disheveled, wearing the same clothes from last night. He shot Gary a mortal glare, before gulping down the last of his wine in the glass he was holding. His eyes were red and glassy. He poured himself another cupful, way too much wine.

Apparently, Ash had found his liquor cabinet.

Gary's request went ignored.

Gary shook his head, and headed towards the television sound system. Satellite radio was blaring dark, rock music; a band he didn't recognize. Gary winced as he grew close enough to turn the volume wheel down.

"What are you doing?!" Ash yelled at him once the volume lowered, spilling wine from his cup. It didn't seem to matter to Ash. "I just managed to figure out how that thing worked!"

"Jeez, Ash, does it have to be so loud?" Gary mumbled, feeling attacked.

"Yes, it did." Ash set the glass down. His voice was slurred, and his movements were sloshed as he approached the sound system, reaching to turn the volume back up.

"Ash! No!" Gary pushed his arm away. If looks could kill, Gary would have been murdered in that instant.

"No? Well, I can't listen to it this loud in my apartment! Turn it up, goddamnit." Ash growled, clenching his fists.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Ash? You're drunk? Already?" Gary couldn't help the anger that escaped his voice, confused at his attitude. Last night hadn't ended _that badly_…

Ash swirled around and went to the kitchen counter. His eyes were red and narrow.

"Not nearly drunk enough." Ash fumed, catching the glass with one hand and bringing it up to his lips.

"What's your problem?!" Gary snapped. He rubbed his eyes and brought his hands to the back of his head. He had never seen Ash like this.

"_You_ are my problem. Just put the volume up, so I can ignore you." Ash's teeth were gritted, eyes closed as if trying to keep his patience.

"Ash, if you don't want to see me then what are you doing here?!" A similar feeling to a stab invaded Gary's chest. He should've been expecting this: Ash's hatred. "I can't let you put the music like that, I have neighbors, for Christ's sake!"

_This was such a stupid argument_, Gary thought. _What is Ash doing here?_

Ash breathed deep and spoke slowly, as if Gary wouldn't understand. "I would've of left, but I'm fucking _trapped_. I can't find your goddamn _keys_. Your door is _locked_." There was obvious rage behind Ash words. He rubbed his temples, frustrated.

Gary couldn't even remember where he had left his keys from the night before. He took a slow deep breath.

"Ok. Please, _calm down_. Let me look for them… Just calm down…"

"How the hell am I supposed to be calm when I'm trapped in the same place as a fucking psychopath!" Ash yelled, leaning heavily against the counter. His head went down into his hands, elbows propped up on the counter, and he looked like he was about to break into sobs.

The words twisted Gary's inside. He bit his lip, trying to keep a straight face. He _knew_ this was coming! He should've been expecting this!

He searched for the keys.

"Ash… I'm sorry… Okay?" Gary failed at keeping his voice straight. He shuffled through the couch's pillows, he knelt underneath the couch, but he couldn't really think while a heavy feeling settled in his chest. "It was mistake…"

"The worst fucking mistake of your goddamn life!" Ash spat, his eyes shining. He pulled back the sleeves of his shirt, scars displayed. "See what you did to me!?"

Ash pulled his shirt collar and looked to a side. The scar was painstaking slashed across his throat. ""You killed me, you selfish, son of a-"

Gary charged forwards to stand just before Ash. Ash dropped his glass, the crystal shattering and the wine spilling all across the floor. They were very close; their chest's nearly an inch away from each other.

"You think I don't know? You think I don't torture myself every single fucking day?" Gary couldn't stop himself, yelling back at Ash. "You think I can forgive myself?!"

Ash squirmed away, escaping from in-between Gary and the kitchen counter.

"You're not sorry." Ash said, storming off, senseless. He was shaking his head.

"Every single day, I'm miserable! I fucking hate myself! You can hate me all you want but you're never going to hate me as much as I hate myself!" Gary called after him, voice raised. Screw the neighbors.

Ash covered his ears, making a long humming note in his throat, trying to block Gary out. Gary bolted to Ash and pulled his wrists away.

"Ash! Listen!" Gary was beyond frustrated. "I was a stupid, teenage, idiot! I fucked up! I know! You're allowed to hate me, but don't get like this!"

Ash tried to escape from Gary, pulling away and failing, he eyes screwed closed as he shook his head frenetically. Gary didn't let go. Ash lost his footing; they both fell back onto the edge of the couch and onto the rug.

"Get off! You killed me, you…" Ash tried to carry on, put couldn't. He struggled madly, but it was as if he lacked the strength or the will.

"Ash… I didn't kill you! You're alive! You're breathing! Please, Ash!" Gary felt like his heart had torn in two. Their argument didn't even make sense anymore. In his head Ash was right, but he couldn't let him go. Maybe he could just tie Ash down, never find his apartment's key, and stay with him forever…

Gary recoiled from Ash once the thought invaded his head. He felt sick. How would that be any different from the man that gave Ash all his scars?

Ash moved away from Gary, sitting up against the couch, panting. Gary panted as well, lying face up on the rug.

"God, no…" Ash pulled up his knees, buried his face in his hands. His usually throaty voice now sounded a few tones higher. "Why am I so stupid…"

Gary rolled onto his stomach, propping himself on his elbows to look at Ash.

"You didn't do this to me. _You didn't do this to me_." Ash said firmly, as if explaining it to himself rather than to Gary. "But you could've stopped it. It would of never had had to happen. God, _why did you do that to me?_"

Ash's voice broke at the end, before dropping his face back down into his knees.

Something within Gary swelled; he couldn't stop his eyes from burning. He didn't want to see Ash like this. He hated himself for making Ash like this, so tortured.

"I never thought… It would end like that. I was stupid, I was selfish, I would do _anything _to go back and change what I did!"

"I'm so fucking stupid…" Ash repeated again, a soft cry.

"No, no, no!" Gary scrambled next to Ash, and brought his arms around Ash, not thinking of how he would react. Ash tried to shrug him off once, but didn't struggle as Gary pulled him into his chest tightly.

"I'm the stupid one! I'm the one that let that man take you, I should've never of left you alone. How could I do that to you? I was such an idiot, I was so selfish, I'll never forgive myself! I'll always regret it! I'm the stupid one, Ash…"

Ash finally pushed him off with a shove and looked up at him. His eyes were glistening. He looked at Gary with deep resentment.

"And I'm the idiot who's in love with you." Ash spat, screwing his eyes closed and shaking his head. Leaning his elbows on his knees, he cast his head downwards, pressing his palms against his forehead.

Gary was unable to think, eyes wide. He couldn't react. An iron fist wrapped around his heart.

"I'm so _fucking stupid."_ Ash repeated, pulling at his bangs. "Why do I have to be in love with the guy that throws me away in an alley way. Why is everything _so fucked up_-"

Gary grabbed Ash's wrists, shaking his head. "Ash, you were always the one for me."

He was talking so fast, he could barely understand himself. "I always wanted to you. I'll do anything, _anything, __**anything**__, I swear,_ just forgive me. I can't let you go, not after you said that, I can't, I can't…"

"You fucking liar…" Ash whispered, keeping his head low.

"No, I'll never lie to you. I'll do anything for you. You can have anything you want. Ash… Please, please, please…" Gary pleaded, he had never seen himself beg like this, buried in Ash's neck, his lips against his skin, arms around Ash's neck.

Ash tried to shrug him off. He was breathing hard.

"Ash… Ash, please…" Gary whispered, as they both slipped downwards, Gary on top of Ash. He kissed the line of his scar, tracing it from right to left, down to underneath his ear, whispering, "Please… Ash…"

Ash pushed at his chest weekly, throwing his head to a side, turning away from Gary.

"Gary… Get off me…." Ash whispered, but it didn't register in Gary's head.

Gary's hands began running all over Ash's body. At first it was as if Gary was trying to merge their bodies together, grabbing Ash's sides and pressing his chest into

Ash's chest, his torso into Ash's torso, grabbing Ash's hands with his hands…

"Ash… Ash…" Gary repeated again and again, lost somewhere within his head. Gary slipped his hands into Ash's hair, holding him still to press his own lips against Ash's.

Ash's eyes were screwed closed. He didn't react. As soon as Gary's lips departed, Ash turned away towards a side, eyes still closed.

"Please… Please…" Gary didn't care; he leaned down and kissed his jaw, trailing down his neck, to his collarbone, to the hollow in between his neck and chest. His hands roamed up and down, slightly dragging up his shirt.

"Ngh, Gary… " Ash shook his head, pressing his hands into Gary's shoulder's, but wasn't pushing with the sufficient force to knock Gary off. He couldn't understand himself. A part of him wanted to push Gary away, kick and punch him, while another part wanted to pull him closer, to wrap himself around Gary.

One hand slipping into Ash's hair, his other hand slid over his groin, Gary grasped Ash from over his jean.

Ash's eyes flew open. Gary buried himself into Ash's neck, avoiding his eyes.

Gary's movements gave Ash jolts, a twisting feeling playing out in his abdomen. Gary's hand rubbed with sufficient pressure, he felt Ash becoming hard underneath him.

Ash strangled a sound in his throat, twisting underneath Gary. He twisted against the floor, while Gary just pressed himself against Ash's side, his hands still moving against Ash's groin.

"Hah… Gary… Stop…" Ash's voice was breathy and unsteady, as he blinked up at the ceiling.

Gary lips were connected with Ash's neck. His teeth were biting softly as he sucked a spot just below his jaw. Gary moved his mouth away from his skin, just barely, taking a deep breath.

Ash felt goose bumps rising as Gary's breath caused Ash's ears to ring. It felt electrifying against the lavished patches of Ash's neck, Gary's hands tracing his form from over his pants, Ash breath hitched.

"You want me to stop…?" Gary spoke, voice throaty, his lips brushing with Ash's ear shell. Ash dug his fingers onto the carpet, and screwed his eyes closed, but said nothing.

Gary continued, his hands grasping Ash just right. He closed his eyes and leaned into Ash's side. Ash squirmed underneath him, teeth gritted as his breaths grew faster with the flowing strokes.

"Ngh…" The soft strangled sounds that came from Ash, Gary relished them. He stopped for a moment; quickly unbuttoned Ash's fly and brought his hand up to his face, licking it several times.

Ash writhed underneath him, looking up at him. Gary grasped his shoulder with one hand, and slid his slicked hand into Ash's jeans.

A soft gasp escaped Ash, his eyes falling closed once more. Ash's back arched, his body pressing unconsciously into Gary. Gary pumped his hand franticly, and now much more smoothly, following a steady rhythm. It was quick and Ash could no longer think straight.

"Ash… Ash… please…" Gary pleaded softly into Ah's ears, and then leaned to kiss him quickly on the lips. A strong shiver shook Ash's body, his fingers now clenching the rug.

Ash could no longer keep his unsteady breaths under control. Breathy sounds carried out from his lips, sounds of heat and pleasure flowed from his throat without him realizing…

Gary's pace quickened, holding Ash tightly, buried in his neck. He wouldn't let go, he couldn't-

An exclamation finally escaped Ash. His body clenched and twisted downwards, his breath hitched in his chest. Gary felt a warm liquid splotch onto his hands, and stopped his pumping, closing his fist around the head as if to catch every drop.

"Ah! Gary…" Ash fell flatly against the floor, his voice faltering.

Gary released Ash from his hold. As if deflated, Gary felt himself sink besides Ash, one arm over the latter's body, half lying on Ash's side without grasping or trapping him there. A deep feeling of shame crawled into Gary; it was suddenly hard to breath.

Regret already settling in, and Gary wondered if he had gone too far. He'd always imagined it would be all romance and roses with Ash, but he had just sunk very low, played the card he would use when trying to pick up some cute boy from the bar, easily seduced by a few clever tricks. He never thought he'd apply the same moves on Ash… Some how he thought he'd be different.

Ash finally turned to look at Gary, completely silent. Gary couldn't read his face, not quite a frown but neither a smile, his brow furrowed slightly.

Ash's eyes glanced down at Gary's hand, still smeared with his cum.

Gary looked down and spotted it as well, and without truly thinking, he brought his hand up and licked it clean. Ash watched with eyes growing wide, until Gary realized what he was doing.

"…It's hard to clean cum off the carpet." Gary bit his tongue just as he said it. Gary wanted to bash himself in the head. Everything he was doing just kept getting more and more inappropriate. Where had his smooth allure gone? He was babbling none sense and couldn't think straight!

Gary could practically feel the heat off of Ash's face as a deep blush tinged his cheeks. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but nothing came out.

Ash slapped his hands over his face and croaked. "_What have I done_?"

Gary hugged himself into Ash's chest, shaking his head. "Why do you say that? You didn't do anything! It was me, it was all me, I'm so sorry Ash, for what I just did, I crossed the line…"

Ash's hands slipped off his face, and he looked at Gary sadly.

"I've always been the one that hurt you. You would never do anything to hurt me, not even when we were kids or rivals." Gary said. He wanted to tell Ash that he would understand perfectly his reaction if Ash were to push him away and walk out the door, but Gary didn't want to give him the idea. If he was about to leave forever… Let him enjoy this last moment of closeness they would share…

"I wish you would trust me, I wish I had never messed up so I could be there for you, whenever you needed me, just be there to hold your hand or anything…"

A moment of silence stretched between them, Ash just staring at Gary while Gary looked forwards, across Ash's chest with a blank stare.

Ash sighed, catching Gary's attention.

"I…I don't want to be alone anymore, Gary." Ash's voice was barely above a whisper. In that sole moment, there was something very vulnerable about Ash, a bleak honesty that somehow reminded Gary of when Ash was lying in the hospital bed, covered in bandages and bruises.

Ash cast his eyes away, blinking several times.

Gary pressed himself into Ash, his eyes stinging.

"I would never leave you, Ash. You can get rid of me if you want, but I'll never leave you as long as you'll have me." Gary's voice was uneven, but had never been this sincere before. "If you'll have me… If you forgive me… You mean a lot to me, Ash…"

Ash finally looked back at him. He reached towards Gary's face and placed his hand on Gary's cheek, the tip of his fingers slipping behind his ear. Gary looked up at him.

"I…" Ash seemed apprehensive. "I forgive you…"

For Ash, it was suddenly very hard to breath and speak. "I… I just don't want you to leave me on the side of a road again, Gary, please…."

His eyes screwed shut and he recoiled from Gary, a pain perturbing him.

"Never, never, never…" Gary moved to hug Ash into his chest, and brought them up into a sitting position.

One cheek pressed on the top of Ash's head, Gary whispered, "Everything is going to be ok, I promise you, Ash, I promise…"

Ash gingerly brought his arms around Gary, a deep sigh escaping him. "Alright, okay, okay…" He nodded, feeling lightheaded.

They remained together for a long moment before separating. Sitting on their knees in front of one another, and they looked at each other, before finally releasing a small chuckle.

Ash tentatively grasped Gary's hand, squeezing it slightly with his head cast downwards.

* * *

Ash had retrieved to Gary's shower, claiming he wasn't feeling so good. Gary imagined it was a combination of the past events and the alcohol that was being processed by his liver. While he showered, Gary mopped up the wine and glass in the kitchen, and searched for his keys. He found them underneath the sofa out in the balcony, feeling incredibly guilty. If Ash had found them, would he had left? Would of none of it ever happened?

Gary collapsed in the living room couch, feeling strangely tired. He glanced at the clock. It three o'clock already? Did they really sleep I that much?

Ash emerged from the bedroom.

"Hey." Ash gave Gary a small smile, spotting Gary with soft eyes. He wore a pair of navy sweatpants and a large grey sweater Gary lent him. Gary could feel his face reddening…

He really like how Ash looked in his clothes.

Sliding into the spot besides Gary, Ash sighed heavily. Gary offered a sidelong smile, but Ash's eyes were cast downwards.

"Gary… I'm sorry… I acted up that way, I broke that glass of wine and I made that mess…"

Feeling like his heart was trying to leap out of him, Gary leaned over and rest his head on Ash's the shoulder. He still couldn't believe what was happening.

"It doesn't matter, Ash. I just want to be ok with you…" Gary sighed as well, one hand reaching to rest on Ash's arm tenderly. He swallowed thickly. "I just want to be… With you…"

Ash brought his legs up and folded them underneath him. With a slight turn in his posture, Ash curled towards Gary and rested his cheek on the top of Gary's head.

They remained like that for a long moment, in silence, as if Ash were contemplating Gary's words.

"Gary, I…" Ash sighed again, eyes feeling heavy. He began playing with tuffs of Gary's hair, rubbing the tips in between his fingers right before letting go. "…I'll give you a chance, okay? But for now… Lets just lay here, I don't want to think anymore…"

Gary felt a swelling feeling in his chest, feeling slightly light headed. Here he was, with the guy he'd been in love with ever since he could remember, nestled together in his own apartment, where his grandfather or nobody would ever storm in and pull them apart. Ash had decided to give him a chance…. Why was everything going so right, when he had done everything wrong? Maybe, the world wasn't so bad…

* * *

Saffron City. It was massive, one of the biggest concentrations of population in all of Kanto. Skyscrapers tickled the sky, the winter winds causing the bluest skies of the whole year.

A man emerged from the train station, a newspapers folded under his arm. He paused just as he reached the main exit, wrapping his scarf tightly around his neck and tucking his hat downwards.

A frantic orange haired Pokémon trainer dashed out the station just behind him. In his rush, he clipped the man in the shoulder and ran off, not even turning around to shout an apology.

A sense of irritation filled the man. Soon enough, he laughed, entertained by his own thoughts.

_I could gut him, cut him into little pieces. Ha! If he only knew whom he had just messed with. _A smirk spread across his lips, his pearly with teeth practically shining.

He walked down the other road, going the opposite direction of the trainer. He envisioned the orange haired boy on his knees, arms tied above him in a bloody mess of wires. He would be panting, eye wide with fear. Blood would trickle down his semi-naked body, pooling at his feet.

A shiver of pleasure traveled down the man's spine.

Pulling his hat further down as if to avoid recognition, the man dismissed the thought. It would be pointless to go after the boy now. There would be no reason to go through the whole ordeal for simple revenge… No, he was careful. He was very careful.

Beside, he had other plans in mind.

The south of Saffron was far less dense than the rest of the city. A few town houses here and there, and finally, the apartment complex he was looking for.

From the outside, one could either guess that there were very big apartments or that the floor plans had been divided into several apartments. One could count that there were only six floors, but since the building was located on an upward slope, it probably had a nice view of the rest of the city.

He was interested in the third floor.

He stood behind a line of parked cars, as to not bring up any suspicion, and leaned against a streetlight, opened his newspaper in front of him.

The third floor had no lights on. From where he was, he couldn't see any movement inside.

He had always thought it was funny that his target would be living there. This was a relatively new area, a zone that was once considered the outskirts of the city, only now included as a part of Saffron due to recent expansions. It looked to be more of a residential family area, and it wasn't very populated just yet.

Anyways, he wasn't home yet. It wouldn't be long until his target would be returning, he thought, remembering the last time he had waited for him. It had been around this time, and it was easy to follow him through his apartment windows.

An hour passed and the target didn't come.

_Strange._ The man had shifted around the block, changing his positions several times as to avoid raising suspicion. He felt annoyed. This was the one day he had off and had managed to take the train to Saffron and yet he couldn't find his target.

Another hour crawled by. The night was fading in. The man knew that it was fruitless to wait any longer.

He began walking around the neighbor hoods, observing the building from different angles, figuring out its entrances and gates.

_Oh Ash, how is it that you always evade me?_ He reminisced on the memory of the last time he had seen him. The black haired boy stepped off his motorcycle, slipping his helmet off. Like a Pokémon caught in the tall grass, there he was. It had been a year since the last time he been this close to him.

_Maybe sending in that Pikachu had been too much_. The man thought. It had been a gift, a reminder that he would be always looking after him. He just hadn't gone after him yet because the occasion hadn't been right. Maybe he should have waited, not have sent that gift. But he just couldn't resist!

_Never mind that, _the man thought, circling the apartment once more._ If Ash fled because of the Pikachu, he's just making this all the more exciting. Indeed, the hunt is one of the best parts._

He began walking back towards the train station. The first step would be to figure out whether Ash was still working at the battle frontier. It's just they always changed the place where they trained, making it harder for the trainers, and him to find the damn place. And then, he would have to figure out how to approach the place. He couldn't just walk in.

Anyways, he had time. The perfect occasion to reunite himself with Ash was coming up. Six months, that was time he had until then.

Six months to find Ash and to get him back.

* * *

Oohoho! Freaky?

Guys I wanted to thank each and every one you. EACH AND EVRYONE OF YOU! You've all left me these wonderful reviews, you've favorited and followed the story, bless you!

I haven't responded to any reviews because I get my mail notifications on my phone, and from some reason it won't let me sign into my account, but I'd still like to mention those of you who've left me kind words!

I want to thank the reviewer who enjoys the roller-coaster I put Ash and Gary through! Don't bite your nails honey!

I want to thank the guest who claims she's cried 'at least twice' while reading the story! Oh my god, does that mean I've accomplished something as a writer? Squee!

I want to thank the review who thinks my story is different and awesome! You're awesome!

I want to thank that reviewer Lord that always point out my spelling mistakes, but leaves me the job to figure out where they are, and at least thinks I'm doing a good job.

I want to thank the reviewer that want's to see Ash all cuddly with Gary after the night before!

I want to thank that reviewer that shared her own drug experiences with me to compare!

And If I haven't mentioned your review, please know that I have all of you in my mind! For all those who love Fan-girl Misty and think the story is amazing or simply ask for another chapter, here it is! This is for you!

Well, not completely. I like writing Ash and Gary for my own pleasure too.! ;)

Anyways, stayed tuned. Things will be getting interesting….


	11. Cuts and Damages

Chapter 10: Cuts and Damages 

The Pokémon battle raged on. Dragon versus ground-dweller, Ash failed to recognize the Pokémon on the TV.

Ash sighed, turning his back to the television. He leaned against the counter, serving himself from the carton wine box he had bought for the night.

"Ash…" Gary whispered close to his ear, enclosing his arms around Ash's waist from behind. He leaned his chin onto Ash's shoulder.

Setting the cup down, Ash turned around to face him, resting his hands on the counter behind him.

"I'm glad to see you tonight." Gary's voice was low, his lips near Ash's own. His head tilted to a side, just before drawing Ash into a kiss. His arm's wrapped around Ash tightly, delving deeply into the kiss.

Gary pulled away a short moment later, but kept Ash in the embrace. His hand reached up to Ash's neck, sliding his fingers into his hair. Ash looked up at him, the same languid expression upon his face, coolly leaning back on the counter.

"You've been cooped up in here for the last weeks, I just hope I brought you some good food." Ash rested his hand on top of Gary's, before he turned once again to recuperate his glass. He sighed once more before bringing the glass to his lips and sipping slowly.

Gary released Ash completely.

"Common." Gary caught Ash's hand and led him towards the couch. They settled there, Gary's eyes now attentive to the match.

"This girl, Cynthia, she's great Ash, it unbelievable." Gary commented just as a blonde women appeared on the screen, her face showing a deep level of concentration.

"Cynthia…" Ash murmured, eyes narrowed, cradling the glass of wine in his lap. "Cynthia… Oh yeah… I meet her, actually. She's a _dragon_ trainer."

"What? Ha! Amazing! What did you think of her?" Gary's enthusiasm somehow made Ash feel very tired. He allowed his eyelids to slip over his eyes.

Ash sighed, maintaining his eyes closed. "She was nice."

Gary made a humming sound, eyes glued to the television. Taking one last gulp, Ash placed his cup on the coffee table before pulling his knees underneath him and leaning against the armrest.

Gary moaned. "Ugh. I don't want to work on that damn paper anymore. I just want to stay here with you, watch the battles…"

He turned to look at Ash. Eye's still closed, arms folded underneath his head, Ash nodded, as if agreeing with him.

"Are you falling asleep?" Gary tentatively reached out for him, stroking his back.

"What?" Ash's eyes fluttered open, but he didn't move from his position. "No, I just… I'm laying my head down, that's all."

Gary watched the battle a few more minutes, eyes occasionally darting back towards Ash. He remained curled up, eyes heavily lidded as he watched the battle with an unfocused gaze. Occasionally, his eye's slid close, not before briefly fluttering open, dazed.

"I'm going to sit at the desk to finish the paper I'm writing." Gary declared, patting Ash affectionately on his shoulder. Ash craned his neck around to look at him.

"Can't I help you somehow? You want coffee?" Ash offered, squinting at him.

"Don't worry about it." Gary ruffled his hair before finally departing the couch. "If you want, you can change the channel if you don't want to watch pokemon battles."

"Yeah sure…" Ash mumbled, but made no move to reach for the controller on the coffee table. Gary shrugged and sat at his desk, pulling his laptop open. The screen flickered on, his term paper file already open and ready to be continued exactly where he had left it.

Gary began typing away… Pokemon facts and analysis… Hypothesis and data… Maybe… Maybe…

Gary pushed himself away from the desk in frustration. A valid amount had time had passed, and he felt like his head was saturated with too much draining thoughts.

"I can't wait to finish this semester of school…" Gary began, but hushed as he spotted Ash sleeping on the couch. The battle had finished, another one with new trainers was already halfway through.

Something suddenly dug into Gary's chest, gripping and twisting. He stood from the chair and retrieved a wool blanket that was draped on the back of the couch to sprawl it over Ash's figure. He shifted slightly, but did not wake.

Sadness crept over Gary as he watched Ash's face, vacant of expression. He turned away, huffing quietly and striding over towards the kitchen.

Ash had a heavy heart. Gary could feel it when they kissed. A grey cloud loomed over him, dulling his once beaming eyes, holding back his full-fledged smiles.

If only Ash knew how much he loved him, Gary thought longingly, sitting on the counter chairs with a glass of milk. Even now, as Ash slept a few feet away, Gary missed him. He wanted to scoop him up and pat down his hair, whisper words that would cheer him up, but it would be just the same as the other times before: that same small smile, that distant gaze… like an act to ease Gary's concern.

Gary wondered if he knew just how much he ached to have him completely. He must've known, by the way Gary put himself into every kiss, every touch, even when Ash never gave back with the same passion.

Perhaps Ash was still considering… considering to stay or just forget about him, erase him from his life just like he had been trying to erase the rest of his past. Maybe there was no way for Gary to atone his sins.

A sighed escaped Gary. He shook his head and forced himself back towards the chair by the desk.

* * *

Ash shifted in his sleep. He turned in his spot, head tossed right and left, right and left, eyebrows knotted. With a sharp inhale, Ash's eyes flung wide open.

Pushing himself up onto his forearms, Ash seemed confused at his surroundings.

"Hey." Gary quipped, stepping out of the kitchen with a steaming mug in his hands.

Ash turned to look at Gary, his surprised expression fading. He offered a sleepy smile. "Hey… I didn't know where I was for a second."

"You fell asleep." Gary sat in the corner of the couch just as Ash curled up his legs near his chest, pulling the blanket around him.

"Yeah, I was dreaming…" Ash rubbed his eyes. "…What time is it?"

Gary glanced at his watch before taking a sip from his mug. "Three fifteen."

"Three fifteen?!" Ash's eyes shot opened and he look outside, towards the balcony. It was dark outside. "What are you doing up?"

"Making some coffee to keep on going. I still need to finish my paper! Want some?"

"Ugh…" Ash groaned, falling back into the couch. "How do you do it…Yeah, I'll have some coffee, I should probably get going soon…."

"Are you crazy?" Gary stood from his spot. H went to retrieve a mug and the jug of coffee on the stove. "You're going to get yourself run over or something, out this late."

He returned to hand Ash a steaming mug. Ash's fingers welcomed the warm porcelain with a shiver. "Yeah, maybe you're right. I'm sorry I fell asleep. I wanted to keep you company."

Gary smiled. "It ok, besides, this is a ridiculous hour to be up at… Unless you're out partying like someone I know."

Gary's look suggested he was taking about Ash.

Ash chuckled. "Yeah, I guess your right. But you really have been busy… If I hadn't come to bring you take-out, I don't think I would've seen you."

"I'm sorry." Gary moved closer to Ash, pressing his shoulder against his as if seeking warmth. "I'm trying to finish all my final works for college, so I can go to Mist's birthday."

"It's okay." Ash didn't turn to look at him, sipping his cup solemnly.

* * *

A few day's later, Ash's black motorcycle came to a stop a few blocks away from his apartment building.

Behind him, the second passenger kicked his leg around and jumped off the bike. Pulling off his helmet, Paul's long mane shook free as he glanced around the street.

"Alright, Ash." Paul waited as Ash eased the bike onto the stand before stepping off. "Mind telling me why we have to park here?"

"You know me." Ash shrugged, but his serious expression remained as he pulled his hoodie over his head. "Paranoid."

Paul crossed his arms, his narrow eyes sweeping the streets. They were mostly empty, except for a jogger and car passing by.

They walked towards the familiar apartment complex, circling behind it. Paul didn't question Ash, but followed.

They entered with a key that opened a door that lead into the parking area. Ash nodded at Paul to follow him through the service stairs.

"That was evasive." Sarcasm permeated Paul's words.

"How is it that I roll my eyes infinitely when I'm with you, Paul?"

They continued until the third floor, Ash fumbling with his apartment keys.

"So… How long have you stayed at Misty's place now? " Paul wondered out loud.

"Around… A month and a half…" Ash said, flipping through his keys for the right one.

Paul laughed, but Ash glared him down.

"What? I say its no wonder Misty's kicking you out." Paul shrugged.

"She's not kicking me out… I'm being nice. I mean, she's seeing this guy and I don't want to be… you know…" One of Ash's key's finally slipped into the lock. "In the way? She should be able to have him over and not have me there in her living room-"

"Cock-blocking her?" Paul suggested.

"Jeez, Paul. Just shut up already. " Ash eased the door open. "There could be somebody inside here."

Suddenly, Paul knocked the door open and pushed past Ash into the living room, stomping his feet and howling.

"I know you're hiding in here, you sick piece of shit! Come out and face us, you coward!" He shouted on the top of his lungs, stamping at the floor.

"Paul! What are you doing? Stop it!" Ash ran towards him, trying to bring Paul to a stop.

Paul howled with laughter and faced the door leading towards the rooms. "Come out! Now! I know you're here!"

"Paul! Shut up! Shut up, you asshole!" Ash shook him, but began laughing. "Ok, ok! Stop it!"

The two of them laughed a bit more before settling down.

"See, there's nobody here." Paul caught his breath. "They would've come out by now!"

"Not necessarily." Ash rolled his eyes, but proceeded towards the rooms. Ash called back at Paul. "So are you going to help me or what?"

They entered Ash's room.

Ash swung off his backpack and began opening his drawers.

"So what should I grab?" Paul looked around unzipping his satchel bag.

"Um, if you can just empty out that cabinet over there." Ash pointed.

Paul walked across the room, towards the window. The drapes were cast over it, barely any light coming through into the room.

"I can't see anything in here!" Paul pulled the drapes back, and light flooded into the room. Ash jumped in his spot.

"Paul! No! Somebody could see us from outside! Nobody can know I'm here!" Ash urged Paul, but Paul ignored him.

"Will you calm down? I can't even see anybody from here."

Ash gritted his teeth. "You're an jerk, Paul."

"Yeah, but I'm the jerk that's taking you in. Stop whining."

"Ok, fine". Ash mumbled, sitting down and continuing packing his clothes into the backpack. "Just help me with my stuff already."

Paul settled near the cabinet and began packing.

"Hey, You and Misty used to go out, right? Is that why you're moving out?" Paul asked, looking over at Ash.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, look at the scenario! You're the ex that's living with her, and she's begins coming home with a new guy out of the blue. You're moving out because you're jealous!"

Ash sighed, but began packing things in a frantic manner. "Me and Misty had a _fling_. It was one night, a really, _really_ long time ago. I'm not her ex, and no, I'm not jealous. I just know she needs her space and I know she doesn't have the heart to kick me out."

"Hmm… Right…" Paul didn't sound convinced.

Ash stopped packing for a very short moment, sighing again. Paul wouldn't understand. He didn't know about Gary. Ash wondered how he would react…

"Paul… You remember Gary?"

Paul snorted. "Yeah, pathetic."

"You think everybody is pathetic." Ash mumbled.

"Yeah, but don't you remember what you told me about this guy? Ash, you're being really naïve, by the way. I don't get how you can hang out with him after everything he did.

Ash snorted.

"Besides, I think he likes you."

"Oh?" Ash tried to keep a straight face.

"He… _Likes_ likes you. Don't you think its kind of weird? Just showing up after all these years, acting like nothing happened?" Paul pushed the now empty cabinet closed and looked up at Ash, eyes narrow. "I guess now you're kind of normal again, but back when I met you in Unova… You were messed up, Ash."

"Paul." Ash snapped, nearly growling. "Why do you have to bring that up, huh?"

"Because it's true Ash."

* * *

"Misty will be disappointed." Said Ash, motorcycle helmet in hand.

Paul shrugged, leaning against the doorframe of his house. "I really can't. I've got a meeting tomorrow, early morning. Besides, going probably meant I was going to have to drag you home drunk."

Ash rolled his eyes; just before pocketing the pair of keys Paul had given him.

"Don't wake me up when you come back!" Paul shouted just as Ash mounted the motorcycle.

Arriving to Misty's apartment was quick.

Although Ash could walk fourteen floors to see Gary, the forty-five story trek it took to get to Misty's apartment was too extreme.

Yes, though it was true that Misty was seeing a guy and Ash was in the way… It was mainly an excuse for getting out of using that elevator. It felt eternal. Gary's apartment was just a few seconds in the elevator, but in Misty's tower… It was too much. After a long minute or so, Ash would emerge to Misty's apartment, lightheaded from holding his breath.

"Ash!" Misty greeted Ash with a quick hug. Slimly dressed in a black shirt and black leather pants, Misty's red hair was curled, puffed and shined.

Ash shook himself out of the elevator daze. "Misty! Happy Birthday!"

Music played softly in the background. Her apartment was in immaculate state. They sat at the bar counter tucked away in the corner, serving them themselves from a pitcher of lemonade and a vodka bottle.

"I got you a gift." Ash said after a healthy gulp. From his pocket he retrieved a blue velvet box.

Misty grabbed the box and opened it delicately. She gasped.

"Ash! I love it!" Misty voice was nearly a squeal. She burst from the chair and captured Ash in a tight hug, taking him by surprise. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"Misty! Yes! You're welcome." Ash offered her, turning his face away as to not get a face full of her cleavage. "I'm glad you liked it!"

"Yes!" Misty released him and held up the crystal blue fishhook as it glittered in the air. "Do you know what Pokémon it is?"

"I… don't know." Ash scratched the back of his head and shrugged. Misty seemed deflated for a short moment.

"Heh, I always forget you're not a trainer anymore! Well, technically you are, but you know what I mean..." Misty was now scratching her head as well, eyes darting aside.

Ash waved it off. "Hey, where is everybody?"

"I told them to get here later! I wanted to catch up with you!" Misty set the box on the counter before frowning. "Ash, I don't want you to go! Really! You can stay until you get a place of your own!"

"Misty, all my stuff is everywhere, I'm a total mess and I want you to be able to have your place to yourself. Besides, I don't want to live off of you, and I could barely afford the rent of this place."

"You don't need to pay any rent, Ash, I'm serious…."

"Misty, I made it easy for you. All my stuff is at Paul's place already. Besides, it's not like we don't see each other all the time…"

Misty turned away and reached for her drink, sighing.

"Well, I'm happy you're here tonight. It'll be my birthday and your goodbye party!"

"Sure." Ash chuckled.

"By the way… Is Paul coming tonight?"

Ash couldn't stop himself from rolling his eyes. "No. Said he had to do something early tomorrow."

Misty shrugged. "His loss. What about Gary?"

Why Ash felt his heart drop, he couldn't explain. "Gary… Yeah, he's coming; He just has to finish some term project or something…

"Oh…" Misty's eyes were inspecting Ash. "… How are you guys doing by the way? I can't believe you're actually together."

Ash battled not to blush, scratching his head. "Well, we're not really together…"

"Then why are you blushing?" Misty teased, poking at him.

Ash did a double take, choking on his drink. "I'm not blushing. What I mean is that… It's not official."

"Oh…" Misty turned to sip her drink but her eyes remained on Ash. "I wonder what Gary thinks."

"Gary… Gary's awesome."

Misty laughed. "You're going out with a man that looks like a runway model and that's all you have to say?"

Ash let a shaky laugh escape him. "No! I mean, I really like him and all, it's just… I really… I want to forget about everything but I can't… I keep thinking about how I am now and how I used to be, and how he's probably comparing that in his head."

"Oh Ash…" Misty frowned sympathetically.

"I want to think he's changed, I want to forget about what he did and move on but how do I know? How do I know if I can ever love him when things ended up so messed up?" Ash dropped his head into his hands, sighing deeply.

"Ash, why are being like this?" Misty's voice grew hard. "I know everything that happened was messed up, but it's not the end. And I know in my heart that Gary _loves_ you."

"You don't know that." Ash shook his head.

"I'm sure he loved you before, and I'm sure he loves you the same now. I wish I had somebody like that, but you instead want to throw you chance away."

"Whatever." Ash tried to ignore her.

"You need to forgive him and move on. What, are you going to stay angry forever? Don't let yourself fall back into the darkness you and I _both know_ you drag yourself into, Ash." Misty caught his hands in hers.

"I know. I know." Ash sounded bitter. "…I want to let it go, but there's something holding me back."

Misty frowned. "Ash… He was a stupid teenager. We all were stupid teenagers once. I think Gary will never forgive himself for what happened to you, but it wasn't his fault either."

Ash pulled away, running his hand through his head with a distant gaze.

"Well… If you really think you can't let it go…" Misty hesitated. "Then stop what you're doing. If you let it drag on, you'll only hurt him more. He doesn't deserve it. Tell Gary it's over. End it now. It'll be like ripping off a band aid."

Ash shifted nervously. "I don't know if I can."

"Well then give Gary a chance! We've already agreed that he's a catch. We've already agreed that _the past is the past_. Let him prove to you that he's worth more than the mistakes he's made."

Several lemonades later, the very tipsy pair began talking about their childhood experiences before the bell started ringing with the arrival of guests.

Misty, giddy with emotion, greeted all of her friends one by one.

What was truly amazing about Misty's apartment was that after Lois, the butler, opened all of the balcony doors, it became an amazing open space were the sun set magnificently, orange and blue. Ash would miss that, along with Lois's cooking.

Out of a group of around fifteen people, Ash knew only the purpled haired DJ Harlow and was acquainted with a few others.

A few hours and perhaps too many drinks later, groups of people began to descend down the elevators and were ready to drive off towards the Slackline nightclub.

Ash, Harlow, Misty and two other musician friends of her were the last to leave. As the elevator doors closed, Ash turned and caught Misty into a hug.

"Misty! I hate your elevator! I hate it!" Ash's voice was sloshed, his lips on her shoulder.

"Ash! Don't lean on me! You're too heavy!" Misty cried. She rubbed his back. "Don't worry! We'll be down soon!"

With Misty's driver at the wheel, the group arrived quickly. A small crowd of photographers with flashing cameras spotted Misty's car before they could even park.

The car settled just before the club's entrance. Once Ash opened the door, one could hear the crowd loudly talking and the flashes of the cameras.

Ash waved at the bouncers, who began pushing people aside to make a clear entrance for them.

Ash stepped out of the car, but only when Misty and her friends were out did the flashbulbs go crazy, people calling their names.

"Let's go!" Ash led Misty towards the door. "You go in, I have to make a phone call!"

Once assured that Misty was safely inside, Ash departed from the crowd that gathered around the entrance and took out his cellphone.

"Hello?" Gary's voice answered after two rings.

"Gary! Hey everybody is at the club already! Where are you?"

"Ash! I'm finishing some last details of my project! I'm at the lab!" Gary sounded tense. "I'm almost finished! After this my team mates are going to turn it in for me and I'll be over!"

"Oh… I wanted to wait for you, out here so you could come in with me—"

"No!" Gary interrupted. "You shouldn't wait out there that long! Go in, and I'll call you when I'm there, alright?"

Ash bit his lip. "Alright."

"I'll see you later! Bye!" Gary hung up quickly, allowing Ash to sigh. He pocketed his cellphone and decided to head inside.

"Ash! Hey, Ash!" A familiar voice called from the line of people waiting to be admitted.

Ash turned, recognizing the voice. There, standing in skinny jeans and a deep green shirt, Ritchie waved at him with a large smile across his face.

"Ritchie? Oh my god!" Ash's stomach did a flip flop, his eyes wide. "How have you been? Oh wow, I can't believe I'm running into you!"

"I know! Ash!" Ritchie nodded. He looked just the same, without his hat, perhaps he had grown just a few inches taller over the last time Ash had seen him, equipped with his typical loop sided smile.

Ritchie pulled Ash into a quick hug. "I'm so glad to see you!"

"What are you doing here?" Ash asked, stepping back, unbelieving. It was like fate was trying to trick him… "Out of all the people…"

"I'm in the city training! And now, well, I'm trying to get in!" Ritchie laughed and scratched the back of his head. "I was going to meet my friends and but I think they went in without me!"

Ash ran his hand through his hair, gulping. The last time he had seen Ritchie… He shoved that thought away. "Well, just come on in with me! I work here!"

The bouncer let them through. Harlow was already upstairs, playing her music. People were just beginning to dance.

"You remember Misty, right?" Ash motioned Ritchie to follow him upstairs.

"Yeah, of course!" Ritchie nodded.

"Well, today she's here celebrating her birthday! Today was such a great day for you to be here, it's like a reunion!"

Suddenly, Ritchie caught Ash's hand in his own and stopped him in his tracks. Ash turned, only then becoming aware of how close Ritchie was…

"But the best part is running into you…" Ritchie was looking straight into Ash's eyes as he spoke.

* * *

Once again, Gary recognized Misty through the crowd by her flame-like mane. The photographers outside went wild with their flashes.

"Gary!" She called out, shielding her eyes.

"Misty! Over here!" He waved. The bouncer spotted him and pulled him through the crowd.

Gary caught her in a hug once inside. "Happy birthday! I hope you're having a wonderful time."

Misty giggled and patted his shoulder. "Thank you, love! Those flowers you sent me were beautiful."

Gary shrugged with a smile. "I'm sorry I had to put you through all those photographers, but Ash wasn't answering his phone!"

The smile upon Misty's lips turned into a frown. She looked away.

"Please tell me he's not playing yet! I tried to get here as fast as possible…" Gary looked worried, scanning the Dj station. Harlow waved at him with a wide smile.

"No… he's upstairs… He ran into somebody from his training days…" Misty said. She sounded serious.

"Is that bad?" Gary brow furrowed. "I mean, since he doesn't want anybody to know where he lives and where he's at, you know…"

"No, no, I don't think it's bad…" Misty chewed the inside of her cheeks, pondering whether she should tell him about Ash and Ritchie.

They went upstairs towards Misty's table. Several different bottles had been opened and people were merrily drinking. Gary couldn't spot Ash among them.

He turned towards Misty. "Where is he?"

Misty solemnly nodded towards the ledge railing that over looked the dancing crowd below. Gary followed her eyes. He recognized Ash; he was turned away from them at the moment. He was talking to somebody, and hadn't even seen Gary yet.

"Gary, wait!" Misty called after him, but he was already heading towards Ash's direction.

"Ash!" Gary stepped up, smiling, interrupting their conversation. "Hey!"

Ash turned to face him, surprised.

"Hey! I don't believe we've met!" Ash's companion gave a wave and a grin. Gary turned to look at a fit looking brunette. Just by looking at him, Gary could tell he was a trainer. Gary's instinct also told him this guy liked guys just as much as he did, even if it wasn't very evident.

"Gary." Ash looked at Ritchie and then added, almost as an after thought. "This is Gary."

"I'm Ritchie." The trainer smiled and offered his hand. He was cute; maybe even what Gary could call his type if Gary didn't want to whisk Ash away in his arms so desperately.

Gary shook his hand and turned back at Ash. "I'm sorry I got out so late. My classmates were giving me hell for leaving early…"

Ash wasn't looking him in the eyes. It was like he was caught in thoughts within his head, eyes shifting, looking down at the floor. He looked conflicted.

"Is everything okay?" Gary asked, spotting Ash's nervousness.

"Yeah, of course!" Ash seemed to snap out of it. He finally met his eyes and offered Gary a small smile. "I was just about to take Ritchie to… the smoking area, right Ritchie?"

Ritchie didn't answer immediately, before nodding as if understanding. "Yeah, the smoking area!"

"You should go congratulate Misty! I'll be right back!" Ash turned on his heels and waved at Ritchie to follow. Gary remained there, almost offering to come along but Ash had already dashed away.

"Well, see you later buddy!" Ritchie patted Gary's back and followed after Ash, beaming.

Misty was refilling a drink as Gary came back to her, feeling slightly put off.

"Misty… What's up with Ash?" Gary tried to ask casually as Misty served him a drink. Misty seemed to freeze for a second.

"W-what do you mean?" She handed him his drink.

"It's just… He was acting weird… He just left with his friend… "

"He just left… with Ritchie?" Misty gulped.

Gary eyes narrowed.

"Gary… I think Ash—" suddenly a couple of friends from her table approached them, a bottle in hand, cheering out 'happy birthday'.

* * *

Ritchie and Ash stood in a small corner behind a structure that held up lights in the patio the club had for it smokers.

"Are you sure we can do this Ash?" Ritchie looked paranoid as he looked around.

"There's not problem. The owner does this all the time. Besides, I know the security guys and they're all cool." Ash assured. "Hold my drink."

Ritchie took his cup from his hand, still looking unsure. Ash imagined he didn't do this often. Pulling out a rolled cigarette, Ash proceeded to light it. The smell of marijuana wafted into the air.

Ash pocketed the lighter as a large cloud of smoke filled the air between them. Ash retrieved his drink from Ritchie to gulp down the sting in his throat.

"Remember the last time we saw each other… That was great wasn't it?" Ritchie's leaned an arm on the wall behind them, just above Ash's shoulder.

Ash took another puff of his green cigarette, watching Ritchie. The high of the drug washed over him in waves, traveling through him like plunges in calm waters.

He shivered, his image of Ritchie beyond vivid in his intoxicated state.

"The fireworks, the tasty wine bottles… I've thought about you a lot, after that." Ritchie voice was husky as he eyed Ash suggestively. Ash looked away, huffing.

Ash took another puff, wondering if he was going to be able to play his music all right. He was going to get up on the stage in less of an hour… Already, a plentiful amount of alcohol was running through his veins, but after smoking as well… He was most definitely reaching his 'smashed' state.

Ritchie babbled on, but suddenly it was hard for Ash to keep his attention on him… Paul and Misty's words floated in his head… If only he could leave Gary, and spare himself any further pain… He couldn't remember of a time in the past when Gary hadn't hurt him.

"You want a puff?" Ash offered the cigarette to Ritchie once he stopped talking. Ritchie shook his head, his eyes half-lidded, watching Ash.

_Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. _Ash's mind wound up in circles. He wished Gary didn't occupy his mind every single minute, but it was like he was standing right next to him, so blatant in the spotlight of his mind. Ritchie was a nice alternative, and he was a clean slate… But… But…

There was this indecision Ash could define.

It wasn't that Ash wanted to smoke… Its just he needed to get away from Gary and think clearly… But without the cigarette between his lips, Ash was sure Ritchie would've attempted to kiss him by now.

* * *

After Misty shook off her friends, she returned to Gary, looking worried.

"Okay Gary, I'm only telling you this because I really do care about you, but Ash is my friend too so you have to understand!"

"Misty," Gary's face was serious as he placed his cup on the table. "Tell me what is going on."

"Okay!" Misty squeaked, eyebrows knotted. "Ritchie was the first guy Ash ever did anything with! You know, as in he was the first guy he ever was with!"

"The first guy…" Gary frowned, putting two and two together. "You mean like, together? Ash and Ritchie were together?!"

"I don't know the details!" Misty winced at his tone. "It was when Ash was hiding out in Unova, Ash only told me something about meeting him at a festival by chance and then…"

Gary eyebrows rose, encouraging her to go ahead.

"All I know is that there was cornfield and something about them staying there all night." Misty blurt out, biting her lip as soon as she finished.

"And Ash just blew me off to be with this guy." Gary said numbly, not quit admitting it before. "He just left me to be with him!"

"Gary, Ash… I think he doubts you. You need to do something soon, Gary, because he's going to slip away." Misty grabbed his forearm, her tone urgent. "I shouldn't be telling you this, but I want you two to be together. He needs somebody like you, or else before we know it he's going to leave this city, and go hide somewhere else. I don't want that for him! I know you can make him happy-"

Gary slipped from her grasp and dashed downstairs before she could finish.

* * *

Ritchie finally made his move. Just as Ash stomped on the cigarette bud he threw to the floor, he looked up and Ritchie's lip were planted on his own, Ritchie's gloved hands grasping Ash's face.

Ash pushed him away, disdained. Ritchie's eyes flew open, surprised.

"What's wrong?" Ritchie followed Ash as he stormed through the crowd of smokers.

"Ritchie…" Ash turned in his heals to face him. "I really like you. But I can't be with you anymore."

"Why not?" Ritchie caught Ash's arm as he turned to leave.

"There's somebody else." Ash stated earnestly. Ritchie released him, looking stunned.

"Ash. I'm sorry…" Ritchie frowned.

Ash turned and walked away, leaving Ritchie standing in the crowd. He felt stupid and guilty.

_What was I thinking_. Ash pulled at his hair, a thick knot in his throat. Leaving with Ritchie had been a bad idea. Gary might as well have been tormenting his head but he didn't deserve that kind of betrayal…

His heart felt like it dropped as he spotted Gary standing right just before the door that lead inside.

"Gary… Gary!" Ash reached out for him, stepping inside just before catching Gary in an embrace. He didn't even know if Gary had seen what had just happened...

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Ash said, heavy-hearted.

"Ash…" Gary caught him in his arms, leading them towards a wall to get out of the way of walking people. He bit his lip.

"I never wanted to hurt you, Gary. It's not what you think." Ash looked up from Gary's chest and caught his eyes. His brown eyes were glazed and bloodshot red.

"Ash, it's okay. I saw everything." Gary saw Ash look away, pained.

"It's not what you think." Ash repeated. "Ritchie and I… we're over."

"I know." Gary patted his hair, attempting to reassure him. "I saw him kiss you, I saw how you pushed him away."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Ash sounded like a record machine. "I know I've been acting strange and I know I'm not all there all the time, but… I know I'm not the same person I used to be, the person you want."

Gary felt his heart heavy. He pulled Ash near and whispered in his ear. "Ash, it's not like that. I want you now. I don't care if you've changed, your still the same person to me. Ash… I…"

Ash stepped away from Gary, sighing deeply.

"I'm sorry… I'm just a little crazy." Ash laughed nervously, rubbing his eye.

Gary gave him a loop sided smile. "I know, Ash. I know."

Ash looked him straight in the eyes tentatively. They stared at each other for a long moment—

"Ash!" Julian towered over them a moment later, jerking his thumb toward the dj station. "Your time is coming up! You better get you're ass upstairs and play like a motherfucker, like you did the other day!"

Ash laughed nervously, nodding.

"I'll be there in a minute." Ash turned back towards Gary quickly, his look filled with regret. "I'm sorry, I have to go."

"I'm sorry I got here so late." Gary offered in exchange. Ash smiled.

"I'll see you later!" Ash exclaimed as Julian began to tap his feet.

"Let's go, Let's go!" Julian placed a palm on his shoulder, leading him away.

"Ash! Ash!" Someone called.

"Oh, what now?" Julian sounded impatient. He and Ash turned around to face a tall boy his dirty blond hair, his hands tucked into the pockets of his grey hoodie.

Ash didn't recognize him, frowning. "Yes?"

"Common, Ash!" Julian urged.

"I just have to give Ash a message." The boy told Julian, just before stepping closer to Ash. The boy grasped his shoulder and leaned in close to speak into Ash's ear.

"…He wants you to know that you can hide all you want, but he's still going to find you."

Ash blinked, not reacting for a short moment, before shoving the boy away violently. In a swift movement that followed, the blond caught Ash's wrist in his hand, jerking him forward. A blink later, the boy ran a blade over Ash's hand. Ash hissed and stumbled back, clutching his hand to his chest.

Everything became a blur. Julian pushed the boy to the ground, shouting. People around scattered and the security guards pushed though. Ash staggered back until he was against the counter of a bar, grasping his wrist tightly.

"Ash! Ash!" He could hear distantly between the commotions, but he couldn't think. He just stared with wide eyes at his hand; a clean diagonal cut was oozing blood down and over his other hand, clasped around his wrist.

Numbly, Ash walked towards the bathroom.

Gary dashed into the bathroom, right behind him.

"Ash! What happened? Ash—" Gary spotted his hands, soaked red with thick blood. "Oh my God, Ash!"

Ash released his wrist and absently grabbed a bunch of paper towels and placed over the cut, covering the wound for a short moment before a dark stain bled through.

"Oh my God." Ash muttered, almost unaware of Gary's presence, holding his hand up against his shirt, pressing down on the paper towels. "What... What…"

"Ash!" Gary cried, but he wasn't getting through to Ash; his eyes were glued to his bleeding hand, in a trance. One hand over Ash's shoulders, Gary led Ash outside.

Julian was outside of the bathroom, looking down at the trail of blood left behind by Ash.

"Ash! Is he okay?" Julian rushed towards Gary.

"He needs a doctor! Who did this?" Gary steadied Ash, who swayed dangerously.

"Some crazy asshole! Security has him!" Julian led Gary towards the bar. "Take him out through the back, the front is crowded."

Outside, Gary rushed Ash towards his car.

"It's going to be okay, Ash." Gary opened the passenger seat door and ushered him in. "I'm taking you to the hospital."

Ash was still nodding slowly as Gary jumped into the driver's seat. He reached for a sweater in the back seat and threw it at Ash's lap.

"Wrap your hand around it!" Gary was already reversing out of the parking space. He threw Ash a glance. "Are you okay?"

Ash winced painfully, wrapping the sweater around his hand. He was breathing heavily and slowly.

He gulped, pale white. "Blood makes me sick. I can't look at it."

* * *

Ash's cellphone rang for the 15th time. Gary finally answered.

"Hello?"

"Gary? Oh my god, Gary what happened? Where are you?" Misty shouted through the phone, concerned.

Gary glanced towards Ash and the doctor. Ash was looking away firmly as the doctor ran a needle through his skin, stitching it closed.

Gary winced. "We're at the ER. Ash is getting stiches.

"Gary, how could this happened, who did this?"

"I don't know." Gary shook his head, stepping away out of Ash's hearing range. "Ash just told the doctor some kid he didn't know grabbed his wrist and pulled out a knife."

"Is it bad?" Misty asked, sounding on the verge of tears.

"He just needs stiches. I looked really bad because Ash was bleeding so much. The doctor said it was because he had been drinking. Misty… This is horrible, why would somebody do this?" Gary rubbed his temple, closing his eyes.

"Oh Gary, Oh god… You don't think… You don't think somebody sent that guy to cut Ash? I mean…"

"I don't know Misty." Gary spotted the doctor cutting away the string the stitched the cut together from Ash's hand. "But I've got to go. I'll call you later."

He hung up and rushed to the table.

"That was a nasty cut you got yourself, young man." The doctor said, gingerly apply a gauze tape over the wound. "Nineteen stiches. I hope they caught the man the committed this heinous action."

As if summoned, an officer Jenny and a fellow officer approached them.

"Ash Ketchum?" The officer Jenny asked, spotting Ash.

"Yes." He mumbled, still looking quite pale.

"We're hear to ask you a few questions about what happened in the Slackline nightclub. You're boss told us you would be here."

"What do you want to know?" Gary asked.

"We want to know exactly what happened, can you tell us?" Officer jenny directed her question at Ash, who glared at her.

"I was going to go up on the stage, but this kid called after me." Ash's finally softened his glare, looking away. "He said he had a message for me. He came close and told me '_He wants you to know that you can hide all you want, but he's still going to find you'_. When I pushed him away, he grabbed my hand and ran his knife across it. Next thing I know, security is rushing to grab him and I'm bleeding all over the place. Gary brought me here to the ER."

Ash explained.

"Excuse me, son, but we have finished here." The doctor took off his latex gloves and stood to leave. "Please just take those antibiotics we talked about and leave the bandage on until it washed off, alright? In a few weeks you can get those stiches removed"

"Thanks." Ash muttered, and the doctor walked away to attend another patient.

"_He wants you to know that you can hide all you want, but he's still going to find you._" Officer Jenny repeated. "Do you know what that means?"

"Of course I know what that means." Ash stood from his spot, angry. "Just look up my case at your precinct, officer. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be leaving now. Hospitals make me sick."

Gary rushed to follow him out.

"Wait!" Officer Jenny called out. "Do you want to press charges?"

"Yes. I want to know who sent him!" Ash then pushed through the exit and was out in the parking lot.

"Ash, wait!" Gary followed behind.

"Aargh!" Ash kicked at a nearby car, causing it alarm to go off. "Goddamnit!"

"Ash!" Gary placed his hands on his shoulder, but Ash violently moved aside. "Please, calm down."

"How can I be calm?!" Ash spun around to face him, panic evident in his face. "He fucking found me, I knew it! That Pikachu was no fucking coincidence! Fuck!"

"Ash, please lets go to my car." Gary offered, hand held up.

Ash shook his head and ran his hand fervently through his hair, but followed Gary to his car. He slammed the passenger seat door with force.

"Oh god…" Ash dropped his head into his hands. "Gary, what am I going to do? When is this going to end? I don't anymore scars, they're fucking killing me…"

Something twisted at Gary's chest deeply at seeing Ash anguished.

"Ash… let's get out of here." Gary blurted out.

Ash looked up from his hands, confused. "What?"

"Let's just leave the city. I know a place; we can go there tonight. You'll feel safe there, I promise." Gary reached for his uninjured hand. "Let's get out of here and leave this madness behind."

"Gary…" Ash sounded pained and uncertain. "Are you sure? Where are we going to go?"

"Just trust me." Gary ignited the engine of his car and pulled out in reverse. "Everything is going to be okay."

* * *

A/N:

Jeez… 23 pages… So long…. And the worst is that I just wrote it all in two days. I've been struggling with this chapter for months now! And just as I was about to finish, Microsoft word was uninstalled from my computer! I guess it was a blessing in disguise because as I reread what I had written for this chapter after it was mysteriously reinstalled, I was grossly inspired to rewrite it. It took me about two days but here you have it! I promise you guys this is so much better.

My faithful reviewers! Some of your reviews make me feel so proud, other make me LOL and other just nag me about continuing writing but that's awesome! I dedicate this too you! And thanks to all the new favorites! Its awesome all of you are following the story, so don't be shy and leave a review! Pretty please? Reviews are the best and make me happy all day.

Lovely people! Here's my late Christmas present! Stay tuned… You're not gunna want to miss the next chapter….

Wait! I rewrote the prologue guys! Something for you guys to check out if you want more... It's slightly different... I hope you guys like it!


	12. Sayda Island

Hello… For those of you who've forgotten about this story… previously, Ash got attacked by some psycho at the place he worked at. Gary offered to take him away to somewhere safe….

* * *

Chapter 11: Sayda Island

Everything became a blur.

Intoxicated, Ash could only recall flashes of Gary's worried eyes, and his voice a faraway sound.

"_Ash!"_

"_Are you okay?"_

"_Ash, don't grab your hand so tight."_

"_Don't worry, we're almost there."_

"_Ash?"_

Ash's memory lapsed. Next thing, Gary was hugging him steadily in the elevator. A deep anxiety settled into Ash's chest, his heart beat furious. He feared something would leap at them every time they crossed a corner, or entered the dark rooms of Gary's apartment.

Once in his bedroom, Gary forced the catatonic Ash to sit on the bed, who stared blankly ahead, still grasping his hand. Gary went into his closet, before coming back and grabbing the sides of his shirt.

"Take it off." Gary ordered.

"...Now?" Ash's voice was small, his eyes portraying his confusion. Gary couldn't possibly think that this would the time for _that_ kind of interaction...

Gary's emerald eyes were as clear as day. "Ash, you're covered in blood."

Ash blinked a few times before obeying. Gary handed him a simple cotton t-shirt of his and strode off again….

Unable to remember what happened next, Ash recalled being in the car again, slumped against the passenger seat door. Gary was speaking quickly, but not to him… Into his phone…

The curves of the road were making Ash dizzy. Even though he closed his eyes, the swaying didn't stop, it kept going, and going….

* * *

It was still early when Ash awoke, the car still moving. The daylight was overwhelming, and despite keeping his eyes closed and staying in the same position he awoke in, sleep wouldn't come back.

He yawned, stretched and rubbed his eyes, finally letting go of the notion of sleep.

"Morning." Gary smiled at him.

Gary was a somewhat of a comical sight, with his hair disheveled and grey bags under his wide green eyes, accompanied by genuine smile plastered upon his face.

"Hey." Ash croaked, eyes squinting. Beyond the Gary's window, he could see a blue, infinite coastline. "Where are we?"

"We're somewhere close to Fuchsia City!" Gary chirped, sipping from a disposable mug. His eyes were wider than usual.

"Gary…" Ash coughed, his throat dry. "…Have you been driving all night?"

"Yes!" Gary said with a laugh that made Ash wince. "But don't worry, I stopped for some coffee at one of those open 24/7 shops, I got you some water too! I think this is my third coffee, but I was going to fall asleep if I didn't get any caffeine."

"Maybe too much caffeine…" Ash muttered. He took the bottle water from the cup holder, hoping it would soothe his headache.

"…Thanks, Gary. I don't know what I would've done without you." Ash added, his head cast downwards.

"Hey, we're here!" Gary parked the car into a nearby garage. Once outside, Gary took a ticket from the man and led the way towards a harbor across the street.

The smell of the ocean air somehow numbed Ash to the events of the night before, which were lingering the back of his head. He remained close to Gary, wishing to hold onto him for support. Instead, he stayed two steps behind as Gary bought two ferry tickets from the stand.

The ferry was docked, a relatively small and empty boat. As if reading Ash's mind, Gary turned back at him and smiled. He rested his arm around Ash's shoulders, while Ash brought his arm around Gary's waist. Together they boarded the boat, picked a shaded, isolated corner, and remained like that, in silence.

Finally, the boat departed. A huge yawn escaped Gary. Ash could feel his body tense as he yawned before slumping back down.

"Aren't you tired?" Ash asked faintly, looking up to meet Gary's eyes. His emerald gaze made something twinge in Ash's chest as they looked back, heavy with sleep. Gary was smiling softly.

"I'm okay. How are you?"

Ash looked away and shrugged. Suddenly the dull pulsing of his hand was brought to his attention once more.

Gary rubbed Ash's arm in an attempt to comfort him, his eyes sliding closed. Eventually, his arm slipped from Ash's shoulders, and he leaned back into his seat. The sound of the waves lulled Gary to sleep.

* * *

Two hours later, the sound of the ferry's horn brought Gary back from his nap. He had fallen asleep on his seat, his body complaining from the terrible position. Standing up to stretch, Gary spotted Ash on the other side of the boat; seated at the edge, his elbow propped up on the rail, chin on his hand.

Gary felt his heart swell. A heavy air of melancholy surrounded the raven-haired boy. He was staring out towards the sea, a hint of grief in his eyes. He sat there, alone, looking so sad, as if a grey cloud had settled upon him, yet so beautiful with the cerulean blue behind him, the ocean breeze bristling his hair.

"Hey." Gary settled next to him, offering a smile.

Ash suddenly straightened, the clouded look in his eyes disappearing almost immediately. He hadn't noticed Gary coming. "H-hey! You're awake!"

"Yeah…" Gary scratched the back of his head. "…Sorry about that. I guess I was tired."

"It's ok." Ash assured, smiling softly before looking out into the sea. An island in the distance was growing closer. "Anyways, where exactly are you taking me?"

Turning to look at the island, Gary smiled widely. "That, over there, is Sayda Island."

Soon enough, they arrived to the heavily forested island. It was very hot and humid, the air tasted salty. Ash couldn't help but smile.

"This is great, Gary!" Ash chirped, momentarily forgetting his gloom. He beamed at Gary. "I've never been here before. In fact, I haven't been to the orange islands since I was ten!"

"I did some research here back in day. Most of the island is a natural reserve, but there' a small resort of the other side." Gary grinned, appreciating Ash's wide eyes as the ship disembarked upon Sayda Island's shore.

Upon their arrival, a teenaged blue haired girl waved furiously from the back of an open jeep.

"Gary! Gary!" With an agile jump, she descended the jeep and sprinted towards them, just before tackling Gary into a tight embrace.

"Gary! I'm so happy to see you!" She squealed, rubbing her face into his chest. Gary ruffled her hair.

"Crystal! You've grown!" Gary smiled fondly at the girl once she released him.

"Well, it's been a long time! I thought you were never coming back!" She complained, her voice high-pitched. She turned to look at Ash just before a furious blush began creeping up her face and shooting her hand out. "I'm very, very glad to meet you! My name's Crystal."

"Heh, nice to meet you, too! I'm Ash." Ash gave her an awkward handshake with his left hand, his right hand stuffed in his sweater's pocket.

"Gary!" Another blue haired woman with a white lab coat waved from the jeep's driver seat. "Come on!"

Crystal's older sister, Dora, greeted them happily and proceeded to drive them to the resort.

They arrived quickly, but the sway from passing through long, curved roads was making Ash dizzy

"You okay?" Gary rubbed Ash's back as they arrived to a central pool area that sprawled out, towards the sea.

"I just… need something… Some aspirin or something." Ash mumbled.

"I know exactly what you need, young man!" Ash jumped at an old man who barged into the group. "I have the perfect solution."

"Uh…" Ash blinked, unsure what to say.

"Grampa!" Crystal ran to embrace the elderly man. Ash suddenly saw the resemblance between them, their brown warm eyes and their straight blue hair…

"It's true, Ash, grampa can make a remedy for anything! Go with him and he'll make you a home-made herbal medicine, something made of herbs and fruits!" Crystal urged him.

"Um, I don't know." Ash turned to look at Gary, unsure.

"The truth is that the old man once gave me a potion when I came down with the flu, and I had never felt better quicker." Gary said, shrugging.

"Go ahead!" Crystal gave Ash a little push in the back. "Me and Dora will take Gary to leave his stuff in the room."

Ash gave Gary another look that pleaded for him to not go, but Crystal took Gary's bag and proceeded to run off, while Dora grabbed Gary's arm and led him away. Ash had no choice but to follow the old man.

* * *

"Sit down, sit down." The old man ushered Ash into a hut with a palms hatchings roof, just at the edge of the sandy coastline.

Ash seated himself in a chair tucked away in a corner. The hut was a small workspace, the walls lined with shelves and shelves of jars and boxes, each with handwritten labels. Ash felt unsure.

"My name is Walter. I'm a healer." The old man said as he reached for a few jars from the shelves. "I can tell just by looking at you that you aren't very well at all."

Ash huffed. "Anybody can tell that."

"Oh?" The man's eyebrows rose. "I don't speak of the scar on your neck. That looks well healed. I think what you need is something for that hangover of yours."

Ash wished he could become tiny and disappear. "Maybe."

Walter spread out a few herbs on a cutting board and began chopping them with a knife.

"A vacation here is the cure you need. You'll be feeling better in no time." He offered Ash a warm smile. "I just hope you remember that drinking is never the solution for the problems of the mind."

Ash's eyes widened. "Wha—No, I don't—"

A long look from the old man silenced Ash. He stopped chopping for a moment, his gaze traveling downwards.

"Show me your hand, Ash." Walter reached for him.

Ash didn't argue. This man seemed to know everything. He pulled his hand out of his pocket and held it out for Walter to inspect.

"What happened?"

Ash squirmed, uncomfortable. "Uh, just a really bad cut. I had to get stiches last night."

"Hmm…" Water hummed, moving back towards his workspace. "Are you taking anything for the pain or against infection?"

"The doctor might have mentioned some pills but… I didn't buy them or anything." Ash mumbled, putting his hand back into his pocket.

"Well, don't worry too much. Your potion just needs a few modifications." Walter smiled at him, his eyes tiny and squinty. "I do sincerely believe that the whole of the body is connected. Your wound, though small, will be festering and transferring negative energies to the once quiet and peaceful mind, giving it over to strange and unproductive thinking."

As if on cue, Walter emptied the contexts of his board into a blender.

* * *

"Gary, I never thought you'd bring _him_ to Sayda Island." Dora placed Gary's bag near the bed of the room. It was a nice and expansive room in one of the higher floors of the hotel, with a beautiful view framed by white, silky curtains.

Gary sat on a recliner chair, sighing. "It wasn't under the best of circumstances."

Dora closed the door behind herself.

"Okay, Gary, now that I got Crystal to leave you have to tell me what's going on! What happened to Ash? Is he hurt?" Concern was heavy in her voice.

Gary cast himself forwards, burying his face on his hands. "Dora, it's such a long story…"

Dora sat, crossed legged before him. "Last time I heard from you, you never mentioned that the boy you were in love with had that scar on his neck! And now you call me, in the middle of the night after six years, telling me you need a place to _lay low_ for a while? Gary, I deserve an explanation!"

Gary leaned back into his chair, a pained look on his face.

"Dora, you can't understand. I'll tell you what's wrong, because you deserve to know why we're here. But you _can't _tell anybody that I'm telling you this. Especially Ash. He would hate me for it. But you deserve to know so you can choose to kick us out."

"Gary! I would never tell my father to kick you guys out!" Dora sounded hurt. "I just, I need to know, and maybe I can help!"

Gary sighed once more, rubbing his eyes. "You can't tell this to anyone, Dora. Promise me."

"Trust me, Gary." She assured, her eyes wide and honest.

A silence stretched over a long moment, before Gary sighed one last time.

"Alright. Ash and me, we've been kind of together for about a month now… I don't know, I don't even know if he's my boyfriend or not."

Dora nodded, silent and listening.

"But, around four years ago, something bad happened. It was the beginning of summer and one night, Ash and me went out to a bar. We got wasted, we fought over something stupid and we went home our separate ways. I went to apologize to him the next day, but he wasn't at his house. He wasn't there the next day or the next. He disappeared for a week."

"What? Disappeared? You mean, he left Pallet town?" Dora frowned, confused.

Gary shook his head, regretful. "No. His mother called the police. Ash wouldn't of left without a goodbye. We tried calling, but he wouldn't answer, we looked everywhere, but we couldn't find him."

Dora looked horrified. "What happened?"

"A week later, a group of Pokémon trainers found him with his neck slashed, bleeding out in the Viridian forest. They saved him. Gramps told me, that if they had found him any later, he probably wouldn't have made it. It was a lucky break."

"What?" It was as if Dora didn't quite believe what he was telling her. "Just like that? What happened? A week gone and then they find him like that?"

Gary became fretful. "Dora, please don't tell this to _anybody_. Ash would kill me."

Dora nodded, silent once more.

"The police didn't find anything. Ash had to undergo surgery right anyway, so he couldn't tell anybody what had happened. After Ash was stable enough, the detectives managed to talk to him. He said…" Gary hesitated before continuing.

"He said had been kidnapped, he and three other trainers. He said a man killed the three other trainers in some kind of cult ritual. Ash got away, but they only found the barn where he was kept prisoner a day later, burning down with three bodies in it."

"What the… What the hell? Are you serious? What do you mean?" Dora asked anxiously, looking deeply shocked. "They never found the guy?"

Gary shook his head slowly. "That's why I'm here, Dora. Somebody tried to attack Ash, and we think it might've had to do with what happened back then. I brought him here because he wasn't going to be safe in Saffron."

Gary allowed for the information sink in to the shocked looking researcher before him. She had one hand over her mouth, wide eyes looking at Gary.

"Gary… Oh my God, Gary…" Dora couldn't find the words to say.

Gary stood and walked over to the window that looked out towards the sea, feeling slightly guilty for telling somebody else Ash's story, but it was necessary. "Dora, this hotel belongs to your family. If you feel that we're putting you in danger… Just say the word."

* * *

Ash had to admit… The old grandpa prepared a delicious smoothie. Free of his shoes, Ash treaded the shore, allowing the sand and water to sweep past his feet. He was sipping at the concoction Walter had made from a paper straw, the icy beverage feeling good in the hot weather. Somehow, he felt calm, his headache was gone and the ocean air was nice to his lungs.

"Hey! Ash!" Gary waved at him from the stairs that lead to the beach. Ash couldn't help but smile back and wave enthusiastically.

Gary was zoomed past the stairs and was running towards Ash. He halted just before Ash.

With a bursting sensation, Gary caught Ash off-guard into a sudden hug, hiding his face into his neck.

"Gary!" Ash laughed more out of surprise, leaning back from Gary's weight. He hugged Gary back with one arm, the smoothie in his other hand.

"Gary?" Ash whispered after several moments had passed and Gary hadn't parted from the embrace. His voice was soft. "What's wrong?"

Gary breathed deeply, truly unsettled.

He wanted to tell Ash so many things; Gary felt like his chest was going to burst. He wanted to tell Ash that all his scars would never changed who he was, tell Ash just how perfect he was in Gary's eyes, to say that he would never leave Ash out of fear, and that nothing else truly mattered as long as Ash was well and by his side; He wanted to promise Ash that he would always protect him and be there for him no matter what, because in the end, Gary had never loved anybody else the way Gary loved him.

_I love you._

Gary pulled away from Ash, giving a halfhearted laugh.

"Nothing, Ashy boy. I thought you might need a hug after Walter's psycho analysis."

Ash's face grew red. "You knew?! Then why did you make me go with him?!"

Gary placed one arm around his shoulders, chuckling. "Come on, I bet it wasn't that bad."

Ash shook his head, looking slightly disdained. "Hmpt. Who said it was bad? Besides, I got this smoothie out of it."

Ash looked up at Gary, who sighed deeply as they walked down the beach.

"…So, how long are we staying here?" Ash asked tentatively, trying to figure out Gary's unreadable look.

Gary looked down at him and offered a smile. "As long as we need to."

* * *

Gary couldn't help but laugh when Ash ran into the sea like a madman as soon as he had his bathing suit on, his face full of glee.

"Common!" Ash urged him to follow, the waves parting as their rolled pasted him.

Gary followed behind cautiously, not particularly fond of the cold water. That didn't matter though, as Ash splashed water at him without mercy.

After a decent splashing war that resulted with salt water in their eyes, they swam for a while before heading back towards the shore.

They settled into one of the shaded, comfy beach beds near the resort, where the waiter brought them an order of rum and coke. After Ash's suggestion, they took advantage of a canteen to empty out their drinks into it to take along a walk down the beach.

Gary suggested a tour of the island. They walked, keeping close to the shore, sipping out of the canteen, talking, laughing and joking around. Gary took Ash to a cliff and dared Ash to jump off to the sea below. He took the challenge, unfazed, jumping off with a cry full of glee, only to be followed behind by Gary.

Gary hoped to spot the Aerodactly that inhabited the island, but no such apparition happened by the time sun was low in the sky. They decided to head back, sandy and tried.

They took the elevator upstairs. Slightly buzzed from the rum, Ash's face was flushed and his eyes were half lidded.

"Mmm, Gary." Ash pulled Gary in close by his waist, planting a slow kiss on his lips. Gary welcomed it, but he couldn't help but notice how Ash's discreetness lowered as his alcohol intake increased.

At first, Ash grew nervous at grasping Gary's hand gingerly, afraid of being sighted, and now, several ounces of rum later, Ash gave Gary a full fledged kiss, oblivious of the fact that the elevator might open at any moment.

Bing! They arrived to their floor, but nobody was there, thankfully. Ash peeled himself off of Gary and waited for him to lead the way to the bedroom.

"Wow!" Ash exclaimed once inside the suite, departing from Gary as he ran towards the balcony. The sky had changed during the short time they went up the elevator and into the room. The sky was blazing orange at the horizon, which faded into the navy blue night; the sea was pitch black as it sparkled with the movement of the calm water surface.

Ash looked ahead in awe. "Look at that sunset!"

Gary just had reached him just as Ash turned away to look at the rest of the room.

"This room! It's so big!" Ash exclaimed. He ran across and reached for the door that led to the bedroom.

"Oh! This bed! I can't wait to sleep on this bed!" Ash's eyes grew particularly wide when the king bed was spotted, white and fluffy with feather covers. He didn't hesitate to collapse upon it, as if trying to hug it.

"So soft… I could fall asleep already…." Ash mumbled, his eyes falling closed.

When Gary stepped into the room, Ash had already fallen asleep.

* * *

Ash awoke, slightly confused and dazed. A lamp near the bed dimly lighted the room, and blues music was softly playing from the other side of the door.

Ash sat himself up slowly, coming to realize he had fallen asleep. The day at the beach had been quite tiring, and what remained now of the alcohol buzz was a dull feeling in his head, but nothing he couldn't handle.

He considered falling back asleep, God this bed was so comfortable, this bed…

This bed!

Ash sat up abruptly! This was the bed of the hotel room Gary had gotten for them, where they were probably going to sleep tonight, that's if they didn't do anything more…

Ash could practically feel himself go red, suddenly feeling self-conscious. He wondered if he was all salty from the seawater, or if his hair felt stiff like it always did after a day in the beach.

Foregoing the idea of staying in bed, Ash took the opportunity to sneak into the shower, since the room's door was closed and Gary wouldn't notice him up.

The shower was quick, but Ash washed himself thoroughly. He dressed himself with a baggy black shirt and grey sweatpants he found in the suitcase, and discreetly tried to dry his hair with a towel before giving up.

He stood before the door, his heart thumping in his chest. He shouldn't be this nervous, but he couldn't help but thinking of Gary in the other room; what was he doing, what was he thinking?

Swallowing thickly, Ash opened the door and stepped into the other room. The music flooded in, smooth blues, but Gary was nowhere to be seen. Ash eyes spotted an open and iced champagne bottle, and resisted the urge to take a swing from it. Maybe if he got drunk again, things wouldn't be so difficult…

Gary was in the balcony, leaning cooling on the railing and looking out towards the sea, a glass in his hand.

* * *

Gary had been thinking. He kept pondering about everything that had happened, what it meant. In his endless pacing, he decided that a bottle of champagne would calm his nerves and probably make Ash happy once he awoke.

He was feeling buzzed several glasses later, but his thoughts were the same. He kept thinking of Ritchie kissing Ash, only to get pushed away. He felt a swelling pride and joy, remembering how Ash had seemed so afraid that Gary would be angry with him, angry because another guy had kissed him. That had to mean something.

He wondered how Ritchie had felt, realizing that he had just gone through one of Gary's worst fears: Ash's rejection. He wondered if it had hurt Ritchie like it would've hurt Gary. He wondered how serious their previous relationship had been or how far they had gone.

Then his thoughts would take a dark turn, and he'd think about what had happened the night before at Slackline. Gary thought back on how the sudden commotion broke out behind him as he had turned away to join Misty once more.

It was painful to remember Ash's face, frozen with shock and unreactive. With goose bumps upon his arms, Gary realized how it could've been much worse. What if Ash hadn't pushed that teenager away? What if the scalpel the teenager had been carrying had inflicted worse damage, much worse…

An image of Ash, with the same shell-shocked expression, appeared in Gary's head, only he wasn't clutching his hand… He was clutching his abdomen, and his shirt was pooling with blood…

Gary shook the image away. He resisted the urge to burst over to the room and check on Ash, shake him awake to see if he was alive. What a ridiculous thought!

Taking a deep breath and a big gulp from his glass, Gary calmed himself down. They were safe here, they were safe here…

But was Ash going to be safe back to Saffron? Only now Gary was beginning to understand why Ash was so_ paranoid_. Gary had shaken it off before, rolling his eyes or thinking Ash was kind of cute when he was being so paranoid… but this was serious. There was a dangerous man out there and Ash was his target.

What were they going to do? Had this kind of thing happened before? How many times? Had Ash been hurt before?

The Pikachu in Ash's apartment… It didn't make sense! Why wouldn't he just kill Ash when he had the chance? What kind of psychopath were they dealing with? This man didn't go in for the kill, he was picking at Ash's brain!

The thought of a man lurking around in Ash's apartment, as he lay asleep and unaware made Gary's blood boil. His fists balled up until his knuckles were turning white. There was another man obsessed with Ash, but in a much more twisted and darker way!

Gary knew there were sick and depraved people in the world, but he had never dealt with them directly, unless he counted his sister. But somehow, Gary didn't blame her; rather the horror of their upbringing had somehow twisted her mind.

How horrible in must have been… The week Ash disappeared. What had he witnessed? What had he gone through? A week was so much time! He wished Ash hadn't seen the knife that would slash his throat coming, because he couldn't imagine the level of fear Ash must've felt if he had. Gary dearly hoped he hadn't suffered too much, but then again how hadn't he, when every night Ash tossed back and forth in his sleep, disturbed.

Gary tried to calm himself down… He shouldn't be thinking of these things... They were too dark and the night sky was too beautiful to be pondering about blood and death. The stars above were so clear here; they shined brightly without the pollution of the city.

_Life is beautiful_, Gary told himself, the blues music he had put on playing in the background.

Indeed… Wasn't he supposed to be happy? Gary had always known he would return to Sayda Island someday… but how would he have known he would return with Ash by his side? That they would be staying in this hotel room, or even that they would be in some kind of relationship… right?

"Hey." Ash appeared from behind him, leaning onto the railing besides Gary. He offered Gary a small smile.

Gary felt his eyes soften. He reached out and placed his hand over Ash's on the rail, almost as if to check if he was real. "Ash."

Their eyes locked for one inexplicable moment, and neither said a word.

They stepped in closer, meeting a slow kiss. Arms around each other, they held the kiss for one last moment before pulling apart. They remained close, their foreheads together. Gary looked down at Ash with an affectionate gaze, who kept his eyes closed with a smile upon his lips.

"You taste like champagne." Ash laughed. Gary couldn't help but smile.

"You want some?"

Gary led them towards the living room, and sat on the couch before the coffee table and the TV set. He served Ash a glass and leaned back, propping his elbow on the armchair and tilting his head onto his hand to watch Ash.

Ash seemed nervous. It was cute.

"I'm sorry I fell asleep. What did you do while I was sleeping?" Ash kept his gaze low, looking at the bubbles of the champagne.

Gary didn't want to get into the details of his previous thoughts. "Hmm, I just hanged out over here. Took a shower… Opened up this bottle… Waited for you to wake up."

With that he brought himself forwards to lean his head on Ash's shoulder, reaching up one hand up to caress Ash's hair. Ash smelled fresh and clean. His hair was still wet.

Ash allowed himself to fall back into the couch. "Well, I'm sorry I kept you waiting…"

"Don't be…" Gary nuzzled into Ash's neck. He pulled softly at the V-neck of Ash's shirt before kissing his exposed collarbone.

Ash's breath hitched and involuntarily brought his hand up to the side of Gary's face.

Smiling, Gary brought himself face to face with Ash, who looked at him with wide eyes. Their lips were less than an inch apart, their eyelashes brushing.

Suddenly, Gary's façade faltered. He caught Ash's lips in a short desperate kiss before pulling away.

"Ash, I need to tell you something." Gary's eyes had a hint of pain, blurting out his words before he could change his mind.

Ash sat himself upright, concerned by the sudden change in Gary. "What's wrong?"

"I want you to know…" Gary grasped Ash's hand, momentarily unable to face him. "That I really care for you. Ever since we were kids, you were my best friend. And even when we were rivals, I know I acted like a hated you, but… I always thought of you as my best friend."

He finally looked up at Ash, catching his eye. Ash was looking at him expectantly.

"When we fell apart as kids it was painful, and losing you once again four years ago was even more painful. I want you to know that's over, that I won't lose you again unless you want me out of your life, Ash, because I really want you in my life."

Gary was marveled at himself, at how calmly he managed to say everything, his voice not breaking once.

"Last night, after what happened, I was so worried and you looked so hurt, I couldn't bear it. I don't want anybody to ever hurt you again. _I'm_ never going to hurt you again. I want you to know that, Ash. I want you to know that I'm never going to let that happen again if I can, whatever it takes Ash, I promise you."

With that, Gary closed in on Ash with a hug, unsure of what to do next.

"Um, wow, Gary…" Ash looked stunned as Gary pulled back. "I don't know what to say, I mean… Last night was messed for sure but… If you hadn't been there, I don't know what I would of done. I'm always so paranoid but when something actually happens I'm like a dearling before the headlights. I froze and you were there to take me out of there. I don't know what would've happened without you. I'd probably wrap my hand in a towel and take the next train out of town, go to some city and get black-out drunk."

Ash sounded sincere as he met Gary's eye. "Thanks for telling me all this… It really means a lot to me, Gary."

They laid down, stretching out sideways on the couch, nestled together. Gary's head was leaning on Ash's shoulder, and their fingers intertwined in silence, both in deep thought.

Gary sighed, before breaking out in small laugh.

Ash threw him a sideways glance, curious.

"You smell nice." Gary said, noting the smell of fresh soap. "It's kind of sexy."

Ash's cheeks were turning red. He wondered furiously why it was so easy for him to blush. "What are you saying? That I don't always smell nice and sexy?"

Gary laughed, before straddling Ash and leaning forwards to be inches away from his face. "Oh, stop it."

Just when Ash thought Gary was going to kiss him, Gary kissed his cheek. Then his forehead, then his jaw, his other cheek…

"What are you doing?" Ash nearly squeaked, still red, grabbing Gary's wrists. Gary stopped in his tracks and looked at Ash innocently.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean… uh…" Ash blinked under Gary's gaze. "…Why won't you kiss me?"

Gary leaned forwards, his lips brushing with Ash. He hands searched for Ash's sides, his grip turning firm.

"…You want me to kiss you?"

Ash didn't answer. Instead, he caught Gary's face in his hands and reached up to kiss him. Unable to turn away, Gary laughed into the kiss.

Ash fell back into the couch, eyes wide and a small smile upon his lips. He looked like he had just done something forbidden but didn't regret it.

Gary beamed at Ash. He was just so cute. Gary could feel his affection grow.

This time, Gary sunk down to meet Ash in another kiss, but in a slower passionate kiss. Ash made a cooing sound of approval, allowing his eyelids to slide close and his hands to caress Gary's back.

Ash… For Gary to see him like this, to feel his soft, lingering touch on his back, Gary couldn't help the heat growing inside him. With a roll of his hips, he pressed their groins together, wishing to take this further.

"Ash…" Gary's voice was husky in Ash's ear. His hands were roaming; his touch was firm and strong like always. "I want to make you feel good… I want you… I want to make it up to you."

It was getting hard for Ash to breath normally. Flushed, he didn't know quite what to say.

"Ha… What do you mean?" Ash was breathing heavy, unable to release Gary.

Gary caught Ash into another infuriating kiss, almost as if intentionally torturing with kisses, keeping him in the dark. He pulled back, sporting a devilish grin.

Taking Ash's hand, he stood from the couch. "Common on, let's go."

Ash followed without hesitation. Gary was leading them into the bedroom, Ash realized with a strange mix of emotions, somewhere between excitement and nervous. He stopped at the doorway, sudden remembering the glass of champagne had had barely sipped.

Throwing a glance behind his shoulder, Ash considered retrieving it from the coffee table to down it in one gulp, but Gary tugged at his hand and Ash thought otherwise.

* * *

Gary followed up with slow tantalizing caresses. The way his hands were so strong and sure of what their were doing made Ash feel like putty in his hands. It's like Gary knew exactly what to do with him.

They had fallen back on the bed. Gary's kisses brushed over Ash's lips, over his cheeks, jawline and neck. He'd stroke Ash's hair before sliding his palm underneath Ash's shirt, grasping at his sides.

Ash gasped. Normally he'd feel ticklish, but now, Gary's touch brought on a burning sensation all his skin, his ears ringed with anticipation as Gary spilt off the shirt with ease. The feeling of the soft fabric was replaced completely now by Gary's roaming hands and his lingering kisses... Ash was barely thinking as he drew Gary in closer, trying to weave their bodies together.

Gary took a moment to look at Ash. His eyes rested on the vertical scar upon his chest, not having seen it since that night after they went to Slackline. Ash looked back between Gary and his chest, unsure what to do or say. He wasn't drunk like the last time, and attacking Gary then had been so much easier.

Gary traced the scar with the tip of a finger, before sliding his hand to the right, over his nipple, sinking down to lavish Ash's neck with kisses at the same time.

Ash writhed, grasping at Gary's arms. This closeness only aroused Ash further; the ache for Gary within him grew. He pulled at Gary's shirt, wanting this think layer of separation between them gone. He'd roll his hips into Gary's, the friction between the hard groins sending sparks shooting up Ash's spine.

His mind was racing with so many thoughts and insecurities, but all the same it was impossible to think straight. Was Gary enjoying himself as much as he was? What did Gary think of him, what did this mean? These thoughts were put to halt when Gary pulled away, green eyes clouded with lust as he towered over Ash.

With an easy movement, Gary discarded his shirt.

"This is okay… right?" Gary voice was husky and smooth, a voice Ash only witness when Gary was turned on. His hair swept over his tilted face, Ash could only admire Gary's shirtless display as he played with the hem of Ash's pants. As if to encourage Ash to break out of his stupor, Gary stroked Ash's hardness through the fabric of his pants.

"Y-yes, Gary…" Ash said with groan. Gary lowered Ash's track pants, liberating his erection from underneath. He was wearing no underwear. Gary chuckled.

Ash felt his face blaze with a blush, only now realizing that Gary had him completely naked. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been in a similar situation. The dim light from the lamp at the night table allowed a clear view of everything, Ash's flaws, Ash's scars to Gary who sat just before him, Ash's pants in his hands.

"G-gary, I—" Ash didn't even know what he was going to say, but the words died out once Gary lowered himself to effulge Ash's cock into his mouth without hesitation. A deep groaned escaped Ash, punctuating his inability to talk.

Pleasure swept through Ash like a fire. Gary's hand sure knew how to touch Ash the right way, but his mouth… Gary had always been a good kisser, from the very start but this... This was a whole other level.

Ash was gasping and hissing, enraptured by Gary's treatment. The wet, gliding sensation of Gary's mouth tormented Ash as his body twisted, clutching at the mattress, arching his back, eyes fluttering opened and closed. Logical thoughts were thrown aside as Ash finally gave into the pleasure.

"Ngh… Gary… I'm going to come…" Ash struggled, trying to warn Gary. He tried to push Gary away, palms against Gary's shoulders, but Gary didn't part, each of his hands finding a handful of Ash's buttocks, pressing Ash closer to him. Ash's cock slid completely within Gary, hot, wet and deep—

Ash came, his waist twisting, his whole body clenching. His hands burst to catch Gary's wrists, which somehow supported Ash from tumbling away.

Gary remained as he was, eyes closed and his mouth wrapped around Ash's length. Only when Ash's body fell limp underneath his grasp, did his slowly pull away, looking at Ash from underneath his eyelashes. Ash panted heavily, his head spinning and his whole body trembling from the lingering ecstasy.

Climbing up, Gary draped himself on top of Ash. Ash's arms flew around Gary's neck, pulling him into a desperate kiss – It didn't matter that Gary's lips glistened with saliva and that he had just swallowed a mouthful of Ash's cum, Ash pulled him in all the same, relishing in Gary's soft lips, their tongues preforming a dance together.

Gary pulled away, gasping slightly. He slipped his arms underneath Ash's shoulders and pressed himself into Ash, hiding his face into Ash's neck. He breathed in heavily.

A strange ache affected Ash deeply. All of the sudden, it was like a damn in his chest had burst open, and if it weren't for Gary pressing into him, all of these emotions would surge out of him uncontrollably. Ash sudden felt very vulnerable, but all the same he wanted to pull Gary in closer.

The way their thighs snuggled between each other's, the electrifying sensation of Gary's nipples brushing against his own… Ash's hands dragged over his back, needy of Gary's steadying weight over him.

"Ash…" Gary's hot and heavy voice tickled Ash ear. "I want you… I want to… be inside of you."

Ash gasped, unable to control him. Why this had caught him by surprise was ridiculous. Here they were, being intimate with each other… And in Ash's desperate need to _be closer _to Gary, the answer was clear.

"Hah…Yes, Gary, I want this t-too." Ash struggled to say, distracted by Gary's body pulling away in a sensuous, slow, gliding motion. Gary sat up, one hand sliding over Ash's abdomen and the over fumbling to open his own pants. Ash reached out to help.

"Have you ever done this before?" Gary asked once he had slipped off his pants and underwear and discarded them on the floor.

Ash couldn't help to look at Gary's cock, thick and throbbing right next to his own. Without even thinking, Ash pressed them together with one hand, stroking them in a firm grasp.

Gary lowered himself back down onto Ash with a groan. He began reaching over towards the nightstand, going through the cabinet.

"Yeah… I've down this before." Ash said, breathless, searching for Gary's face. Gary seemed unaffected and smiled, finding what he had been looking for.

They joined into a heated kiss once more, before Ash spotted what Gary had in his hand. A pair of condoms and a tube of lubricant. A strange panic surged through Ash as he released their two members and firmly grasped Gary's waist. Nervous, his breath hitched in his chest. He hoped this would go unnoticed by Gary.

Gary looked at him but said nothing. He stroked Ash's hair before putting some of the lube onto his fingers.

"It's going to fine." Gary hid his face into Ash's neck, catching a particularly sensitive piece of skin with his lips. His lubricated hand joined their lengths together once more, eliciting surges of pleasure that traveled up Ash's spine.

"Hah… I know…" Ash once more wrapped his arms around Gary, wishing he wouldn't pull away again. This vulnerable feeling was beginning to bubble once again as the level of pleasure increased.

Gary's bought himself up, changing the motion of his hands. Traveling downwards, his hand began massaging right behind his groin and balls, that patch of skin extremely sensitive. Ash's body tensed.

"Relax…" Gary cooed, admiring Ash's naked body. He was sitting up right between Ash's legs, had him completely spread open before him.

"Heh, easy for you to say—" Ash gasped, cutting off his words. Gary massaging finger had slipped inside him with relative ease, but it still took him by surprise.

Gary lowered himself to face Ash, who had flung aside his head and screwed his eyes closed.

"I think you're ready." Gary whispered, his finger dragging along his inner walls, a strange sensation.

Ash opened his eyes to look at Gary, glaring at him. This was tortuous and slightly humiliating. Ash tried to focus on what Gary had told him earlier, how he truly did care about Ash and that this wasn't happening just for the sex.

"J-just do it already." Ash shook his head, trying to free himself of doubt. It was frustrating as Gary pulled away once more, breaking open a condom to put it on.

Gary convinced Ash to put a pillow under his butt. He lowered himself back down so they were chest-to-chest and inhaled deeply.

"Ash…" Gary sounded insecure, a strange tone since he had held the reins of the whole situation until this far. Ash turning to face him, finding only Gary's vivid green eyes, perhaps the bright gold starburst around his pupil evident since the were so close.

The air seemed tangible between them as the stared into each other's eyes. It was like Gary was searching inside Ash, searching for anything that could ruin this moment or tear them apart. Ash shook his head, forgetting his insecurities and pressed his lips into Gary's, trying to reassure him.

"I want you, Gary…." Ash breathed unsteadily. "P-please…"

Gary kissed him fervently one last time, before reaching down to guide himself into Ash.

Ash inhaled sharply. His hands grasped at Gary's arms tightly. Gary was a big boy, how in the world would Ash stretch that much to have Gary fit inside him?

Gary trudged on slowly, making hushing sounds into Ash's ear. "Relax… Shh… loosen your legs…"

Ash nodded and swallowed, unable to form words. He forced his breathing to steady, but he couldn't stop his back from arching or cause his grip on Gary to loosen.

This stretching sensation, accompanied by the gliding burning sensation soothed by the lubricant… It didn't hurt but then again Gary was barely moving! A surge of panic swallowed Ash up. He imagined Gary thrashing into him, a stabbing pain from within tearing him inside—

"Ah! Gary! Gary!" Fear surged through Ash, but he couldn't bring himself to tell Gary to stop. Ash hugged Gary tightly into his chest, leaving him unable to move any longer.

Ash was panting, and the trace of fear was evident in his eyes. Gary could tell.

"Ash…" Gary's voice was unsteady too, as he had sheathed himself completely into Ash. "Let me… take care of you… Hah…. I won't hurt you…."

He stroked Ash's hair out of his face and gliding his hand up and down Ash's side, trying to comfort him, ignoring his own urge to further explore Ash's body, find the angle that felt best and that made Ash moan uncontrollably as he'd thrust madly.

Ash swallowed heavily. He needed to get a grip. He had to trust Gary… He didn't want to mess this up.

Ash's legs relaxed, allowing Gary to sink in further. Gary groaned, grasping at Ash tightly.

Gary began with a slow, yet deep thrusting motion. He couldn't help himself from emitting soft groans within his throat.

Ash inhaled slowly and unsteadily, allowing himself to fall back. It wasn't painful at all, the stretching burn and friction felt good, the whole sensation spreading like ripples through his body. Gary's motion was highly sensual, the way he moved against Ash, the way they were so close to each other, it was unbelievable…

"Ah… Gary, mmm…" Ash himself was unaware of the sounds he was making. This along with the slow pace was driving Gary crazy. Gary's hands gripped At Ash's shoulder tightly, the other one grasping his hip firmly.

A sudden roll of Gary's hip and a tidal wave of pleasure crashed into Ash, hitting to right spot. With a gasp, Ash couldn't control it when he found himself grasping Gary's upper arms, which were firm and strong; they knew exactly what they were doing, rendering Ash completely helpless to him.

"Ah, yes… right there…ngh…" Ash's words pushed Gary further, quickening the pace. Gary relished in watching Ash's body contort and twist underneath him, ravaged by pleasure.

Gary attacked Ash with hungry kisses, over his neck, chest, collarbone, lips. He had always imagined this moment in his head, but then again this was completely different. He gripped at Ash's knees and pushed them down, allowing himself further access, his thrust unrelenting.

Ash cried out, no longer holding back. His hands grasped at the sheets beneath them, he threw his head back only to get his neck lavished by Gary's mouth. All Logical thought was fleeing as he surrendered completely over to Gary.

Gary's hand caught Ash's own, intertwining and pressing them down against the mattress. Each time Gary's hips move outwards, it was like a force beyond Gary was pulling him back in, like an elastic chord being stretched only to rebound back. It was like every time Gary had attempted to forget Ash, forget the heartbreak, they were pushed back together, always destined to meet and culminate into this one moment, So close together they could hear their heartbeats against their chests, a mad rhythm that was bound to burst.

A guttural sound escaped Ash and he bit his lips, almost struggling underneath Gary's weight as he squirmed and cringed.

"G-Gary, hah… I'm going to come… Hah…" Ash managed to say in-between heavy pants, his arms wrapping around Gary's neck. His eyes were screwed closed, and his face was contorted in ecstasy.

Gary growled, very close himself. Determined, he grasped Ash's member and began stroking in sync with his own thrusts. He allowed all the thoughts about possibly hurting Ash go, and allowed himself to go as deep as he could.

A scream of pleasure, escaped Ash and his grip on Gary's shoulders would've been painful hadn't he been so lost in the moment. Once again, Ash's hips twisted and his legs clamped around Gary's waist as he came. Gary groaned deeply as Ash's insides tightened drastically around him. Gary was coming close too, he could feel it.

Wrapping his arms around Ash in a desperate motion, Gary held on tightly as he finally came, still deeply enveloped inside of Ash. The former was panting and speaking unintelligibly, hiding his face into Gary's neck. Gary continued thrusting, until it was over, until nothing was left inside to come out. He felt himself collapse onto Ash, but his mind was a blank page from the ecstasy. His heart was beating furiously, he was breathing heavily and everything felt amazing and _right._

It took Gary several moments to recompose himself and finally pull out of Ash. As he moved away, the gliding friction tempted Gary to thrust back in once more, and do it allover again, but Ash was still a hot mess underneath him and had barely recomposed himself.

Gary discarded the condom and fell back next to Ash, still panting. He turned to look at the flushed Ash besides him, who was staring at the wall, unbelieving. Gary laughed.

Ash didn't turn to look at him, but smiled.

"What?" He said, slightly out of breath.

"You… You were amazing." Gary curled himself against Ash, allowing one arm to rest upon Ash's chest. Gary propped himself up onto one elbow, looking down at Ash. "_That _was amazing. Wow…"

Ash laughed, rolling onto his side to rest his head on Gary's shoulder. "Man, I freaked out, thought it was going to really hurt, but that didn't hurt at all."

"I would never hurt you." Gary played with strands of Ash's hair, pushing them back.

Ash rolled his eyes, but the smile remained.

"I can't believe I've been in love with you for ten years and only now I got into you're pants."

"What?" Ash's voice was high pitched as he moved away from Gary, disdained. "Into my pants? That's how you look at this?"

Gary laughed, scratching the back of his head. "Okay! I didn't mean it like that, but don't you think you're missing the most important part of what I just said?"

Ash crossed his arms over his chest as Gary stood form the bed and retrieved some pants boxers from the suitcase. Even as he stood, giving his back to Ash, Ash couldn't help but admire his well-toned body naked body before the boxers came on.

"You just said you gotten into my pants…" Ash reached over as Gary passed him his pants from the floor and returned to the bed. "…After ten years of being in love with me?! Gary!"

Ash could feel himself going red, cursing himself. After everything they had just gone through, why was he still blushing? Furious, he put on his pants and drew the covers over him, cold from the absence of Gary's warm skin over him.

Gary wrapped his arms around Ash's waist from behind, catching him by surprise.

"I'm not afraid to say it anymore. I'm in love with you." Gary laughed, his chin on Ash's shoulder.

"Stop it. This is the after-sex endorphins talking, Gary. _Ten years?_ Don't be ridiculous; you haven't been in love with me since I was ten! You treated me like crap when I was ten!" Ash struggled slightly, but allowed himself to fall back onto the mattress in Gary's arms. It felt nice to be close.

"Mmm, I was an idiot kid in love but didn't know how to show it." Gary nuzzled Ash's neck, brimming with happiness. "Ever heard that kids always mistreat the one they like? Common, forgive me, I was ten."

Ash laughed, Gary's nose tickling him. He grasped Gary's face and looked intently into his eyes.

"You're kidding right?" Ash asked rather innocently.

Gary kissed him quickly before shaking his head. "Nop. Why can't you just accept my declaration of love? Isn't this the moment for cuddling and telling the truth? How about you? Have you been in love with me for ten years?"

Ash bit his lip. "Um, Didn't even know I liked guys until a few years ago. But do you want to hear something that will make you feel better?"

"Hmm…" Gary put on an offended face, but was only playing. "What could make me feel better after that?"

Ash hesitated, looking away and blushing. "I lied."

"You lied? About what?" Gary's head tilted, looking incredibly cute. This only made Ash feel worst about lying.

He covered his face with the palm of his hands and blurted it out. "OkayIliedabout doingthisbefore."

"Huh?"

Ash took a steady breath. "When you asked me if I had done this before, I said yes. I have… But never with a guy. I mean, gone all the way. You were the first, Gary."

Ash dared to look at Gary, his face red. Gary grinned and pulled Ash into a sudden hug.

"I knew it! Hah, you're right, this does make me feel kind of special! I was Ashy-boy's first."

"Hey! Don't call me that!" Ash squirmed, before finally relaxing into Gary's arms.

"Okay. You're not lying about this to make me feel special right? I mean, what about Ritchie?"

"Ritchie?!" Ash was caught off guard. "How do you know about Ritchie? Did Misty tell you that I had sex with him?!"

Gary backed away, finding Ash's outburst cute but deadly at the same time. "No! She said you guys had a history! But if you did have sex with him, I'd still be in love with you—ompf!"

A pillow flew in Gary's face. Ash was pouting with crossed arms. "Here I am trying to make you feel special and you doubt me."

Gary allowed himself to laugh. Cautious, he rested his head on Ash's shoulder.

"I'm sorry, of course I believe you." Gary allowed his hand to draw shapes across Ash's chest. "Honestly, I was extra careful with you. You kind of freaked out back there."

Ash's face softened. "Yeah, you're right about that. I'm sorry about that, by the way, that was embarrassing."

Gary shook his head. "It was adorable."

They said nothing for a long time, until Ash remember the bottle of champagne waiting for them in the living room. Taking the bed cover with them and remaining close together, they moved to the balcony, the ocean view and the stars before them. Ash decided to take the bottle and forgo glasses.

"So… you didn't do it in a field underneath fireworks with Ritchie, right?" Gary asked once more, only to get Ash to roll his eyes.

They were cuddled together, shirtless beneath the bed covers, outside listening to waves. Ash took a swing from the bottle, which was glistening with transpiration.

"How do you know all this? I was seventeen back then! It was a long time ago, in a different country, when we weren't even taking. Either Paul or Misty told you."

"Paul was with you?"

Ash laughed, as if fondly remembering. "Oh, Paul. I kind of had crush on him back then, but I knew he'd never be with me."

"Oh?" Gary tightened his grip on Ash's waist, feeling slightly intrigued yet possessive.

"Yeah, I was too weak for him. Or took much of a guy. He's into girls, or rather, too focused on training to even notice that stuff, maybe."

"Kind of sounds like you. When did you get into other people, rather than just being into Pokémon? You just were too focused and impossibly dense."

"I wasn't dense!" Ash cried out, sending Gary a short glare. "I was just… very innocent."

Ash allowed himself to laugh. "Okay, I was dense. I guess after I got out of the hospital and gave up on training I began to notice that stuff."

"So no past boyfriends or crazy ex's I should know about?" Gary teased.

"Hah! No, I told you were the first." Ash snuggled in closer to Gary, drinking out from the bottle."

"The first to go all the way with…" Gary couldn't stop himself. He wanted to know everything. "What did you do with Ritchie? Or was it someone else?"

Ash couldn't stop himself from rolling his eyes _again_. "What is it with you and Ritchie? Okay, fine. Ritchie and me made out all night in field at a festival. There. Got it? Girls had only kissed me until then, so I guess he was the first guy I ever did anything with. I was drunk, sad, I missed my friends, I was traveling with Paul who was being a douchebag, everything just culminated in a stupid make out session, Alright? Will you let it go? I know he kissed me the other day, but I swear, didn't want to do anything with him-"

"Okay, okay, I trust you Ash." Gary reassured, stroking Ash's upper arm to calm him down. "I'm sorry, I'm just curious. You can ask me about anything you want, too."

Ash sighed deeply, drinking and thinking of what to ask. "Hmm… What about you? Any crazy Ex's I should know about? And I know you've had more experience in the dating world than I've had, so tell me."

"Hm…" Gary thought back, scratching his chin. "I had that boyfriend back in Sinnoh. The one my grandfather caught me with. I never heard from him again. After that I went kind of crazy, moved in with an older guy who taught me a lot of things."

Ash blushed. "An older guy? What did the professor say about that?"

"Well, he didn't know, of course. But it was weird, an open relationship kind of thing. I slept around a lot, to be honest. I didn't know what to do with myself, back then. I was confused and angry at the world."

"So you slept around a lot." Ash concluded.

"Yeah, but you don't have to worry about that. I only want you right now." Gary assured with a kiss on Ash's neck. Ash swallowed thickly from the bottle. It was more than half way gone.

"I bet you could've gotten who ever you wanted. I bet all the guys were after you." Ash said, looking back at Gary, almost shaking his head. "You've got this way. You're arrogant but sexy at the same time."

"I'll take that as a compliment, I guess." Gary laughed.

"I kind of had a one night stand once, but it was embarrassing." Ash covered his face with the palms of his hands.

"What, with a girl?" Gary sounded amused.

"Well, with a girl, once… But there was this guy I met at a party once. Oh my god, it was so embarrassing."

"Why? Was he really ugly?"

Ash laughed. "No! I was really drunk! It was so embarrassing. It was this gym leader guy in Castelia city. He was one of those guys, really pretty that like to really take care of themselves, you know. Finally we ended up in a bathroom…"

Ash turned to look at Gary, was if wondering if he wanted the story to go on. Gary looked at him with wide expecting eyes.

Ash took a deep breath. "Well, He began to go down on me. Oh my god, this is so embarrassing. When he finished, I think he was expecting me to do the same. I got on my knees; I was going to do it… But as soon as I began, I couldn't control the urge to vomit. I threw up, all over his shoes, his pants, and wow that guy was freaking out."

Gary howled out in laughter, picturing the scenario. Somebody about the get a blowjob from Ash, but only to get barfed on his shoes, pants and dick instead.

"No, tell me your kidding." Gary said in between laughs.

"I wish I was. I got up, apologized and ran out of there. Man, I hadn't felt that bad about something in a long time. I found Paul and got him to take me out of there."

"Please don't ever throw up on me." Gary joked, only to get Ash to shake him head in shame and drink from the bottle.

"I didn't know how to handle my liquor back then." Ash said, but at the same time his face was acquiring that familiar flush upon his cheeks after several drinks.

"Yeah, right. Can you handle it now?"

Ash looked pensive, before looking up at Gary with narrow eyes and small smile. "Hmm, If I can handle you, I think I can handle anything."

"Handle me? Excuse me, but I think I'm not the only crazy one here."

Ash laughed, ignoring Gary's pouting face and planting a kiss upon his lips. Ash finished the bottle and placed it on the ground, before curling up his legs underneath him and snuggling against Gary with a sigh of content.

His mind slushed with the alcohol, but his intentions true, Ash said, "I'm really into you Gary. I think I might be in love with you."

"Might? I remember the other day you saying you were."

"Me? Hmm, I can't remember that. But do really like you. Do you like me?" Ash sounded like a small kid, excited and silly.

"Hmm, gee, Ash, I've been in love with you since I was ten, but that doesn't say much." Gary said, but there was no resentment in his voice. He stroked Ash's hair; relished in the embrace Ash had formed around his torso, his head leaning on Gary's shoulder, eyes closed.

"I guess Misty was right…" Ash mumbled, his eyelids heavy, his body felt tired.

"Misty?" Gary questioned unsure what she had to do with anything.

"Misty said… You've been in love with since we were kids. I didn't believe her."

Gary clicked his tongue, deep in thought. Had it always been obvious?

"Gary… I think I'm in love with you… I've never felt this way before…" Ash's voice was barely a whisper about to slip away in the darkness.

"I know." Gary held him close, the sound of the sea waves crashing in the distance.

* * *

The next few days were easy. Something in the way Ash looked at Gary had changed. His eyes followed Gary wherever he went, smiling when Gary looked back at him. They spent days near the shore, bathing in the sun or searching for the Aerodactly on the island with no luck. Sometimes, Walter would take Ash out on a long walk, and Ash would return, deep in thought and slightly out of it.

"What did Walter tell you today?" Gary would ask, as they lay on the couch outside in the balcony at night.

"He just likes to talk about healing and stuff. Says he runs a clinic, just for people that need to recover from trauma. He asks me how I recovered, you know, from all my injuries and stuff…"

"Hmm…" Gary thought about the older man, how he'd always s be philosophizing about one thing or the other. Gary thought about asking those things to Ash, but they had spent their time together in Sayda Island so happy, Gary didn't want to damper the mood with the sensitive subject.

They spent Christmas with Crystal's family. New Years came and went, fireworks blowing upon the sea's horizon. Gary didn't care about Crystal friends or the hotel staff; he grabbed Ash and planted a passionate kiss on his lips once the clock struck twelve, leaving Ash blushing madly in front of everyone.

Eventually though, their time on Sayda Island was coming to an end. January rolled up on them, and Gary sat looking out on the beach, regretting as the time to go back to school and work was just around the corner.

One day, Gary found Ash packing up the suitcase they shared.

"I know you got to go back, Gary." Ash told him. "I wish we could stay here forever, but it just doesn't work that way, does it?"

Two days later they were saying goodbye to Crystal and Dora, waving from the ferry that would take them back to the outskirts of Fuchsia City. Having drunk a lot the night before at the goodbye party Dora had thrown them, Ash fell asleep the whole ride back until the arrival horn sounded.

The car was still waiting for them at the garage they had left it. The sun was setting as they began driving back to Saffron, listening to the music Ash switched on the radio, but neither said a word.

Gary stopped the car at the side of the highway, overcome with heavy emotion.

"Gary, What's wrong? Why did we stop?" Ash looked worried, rubbing Gary's shoulder.

"Ash, what are you going to do? You've been avoiding this question for a long time, but I need you tell me now. What happens now? After the whole incident at Slackline, I mean?"

Ash pulled back, looking away and crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"I don't know. I didn't really want to think of it. You what this means, right? He found me, found out where I live, where I work. I don't think I'm safe here anymore."

Misty's words ringed in Gary's ears. _He's going to slip away. Before we know it he's going to leave this city, and go hide somewhere else. _

"But you don't need to leave, Ash. You could quit your job at Slackline. You could move into a different apartment."

Ash shook his head, sadness in his eyes. "I don't know what to do. I can barely afford rent without my job at Slackline. I've been living with Misty ever since the Pikachu thing, but I can't burden her any further. Saffron… It's a big city but somehow he found me. What am I supposed to do? If I stay here, he'll link something back to me and find me again. What if something more drastic happens? What if somebody besides me gets hurt? I don't want to put Paul, or Misty in danger just by living with them…"

"Ash, what if you change everything? You quit your job, and come live with me. Misty and Paul are pretty famous in this area, so people could find out about you, but nobody knows me outside of work and school."

The car was heavy with silence, as the words sunk in. Gary hadn't meant to be so blunt.

"…Come and live with you?" Ash's eyes widened, unsure. "Gary, what are you saying?"

Gary took Ash's hand into his own. "Ash, you heard me… I want you to come and live with me. I don't want to loose you again. You'd be safe there; there are security guards and cameras… I have enough space for the both of us and I don't want you to go, Ash, I know this is kind of fast and all, but I'm serious about this, Ash, this could really work…"

Gary started up the car, a heavy feeling in his throat. "I want you to think about it. Please, Ash, really consider it because, I don't want to loose you again…"

* * *

AHHH! Hello! Fellow fanfiction readers, I've missed you! I can't believe it took me so damn long to write this stupid chapter, a whole semester? Neon, you took it too far! Anyways, I'm sorry for the lateness, it's just this chapter was so difficult to write and I hated it, rewrote it, hated it some more and the finally had time to get my shit together once the semester had ended and WOW that took me a long time and I'm really sorry.

A big shout out to Liz492, You wrote me a lovely, long review! I hadn't gotten any reviews in a long time and then you come along and motivate me to write even though I was in the middle of finals. I'm sorry I didn't answer! But thanks to you, this chapter got written (slightly) faster and I hope you liked it! I hope all of you liked it.

ATTENTION REVIEWERS: some people who reviewed the first chapters have disappeared form my inbox. If you've been reading this story for a long time now, but stopped reviewing, I'd like to know if you're still on board! This has taken me a long time to write and I shouldn't leave my readers hanging so long, but I'd like to know whose still on board and reading! Wink wink thanks guys!

Thanks for the favorites, follows, and ESPECIALLY the reviews…. I love the all…. Ill stop rambling now! Expect the next chapter soon, my loves!


	13. Affected

Hey kids…. You guys need to download some good music… Like now. It'll make the quality of your life better ;)

* * *

Chapter 13: Affected - Part I

"Gary…" Ash's concern was apparent in his voice. A downpour had broken out, and neither could see the road before them clearly. "Gary, we should stop. Common."

Gary pulled the car into the side of the road in haste, sighing as if bothered. He yanked the hand brake into place and fell back, clearly upset. Neither said anything while thunder cracked and lighting flashed.

Ash bit his lip. "…I… I don't think you've thought this through."

A long silence was drawn out before Gary answered.

"I didn't ask you to move in with me without thinking it through first, Ash." Gary even didn't turn to look at Ash, solemn. "I think it's you who has to think it through. If you don't want to, though, that means something else completely-"

"It's not like that, Gary!" Ash insisted, taken aback. "You think you know everything, but it's a lot more complicated than that!"

"Oh really?" Gary threw Ash a look full of contempt, his arms crossed. "You know, you don't have to drag this out. Just say it, you don't want to move in with me—"

"Why do you say that? After everything we've been through? Do you really believe I don't want to be with you?" Ash's eyebrows knotted. He seemed genuinely thrown off by Gary's words.

Gary felt himself soften at Ash's concern. He turned away towards the window, a sinking feeling in his chest.

"It's not that I don't want to live with you… But what if I'm putting you in danger?" Ash continued, his voice dropping nearly into a whisper. "…What if you get hurt and it's my fault? How am I supposed to live with myself?"

Thunder roared, a flash of lightning. Ash flinched, looking towards the sky as if it was trying to hurt him.

"No one is going to hurt me." Gary said, determined. Only then did he meet Ash's eyes. His concern and worry were clear in his face. Somehow, in the way Ash looked at Gary, it became evident: Ash was just concerned. Gary's previous with doubt and insecurities, he felt them disappear as he came to the realization: He wasn't the only one who feared losing the other.

Another silence stretched between them.

"…I know that taking you in means that I could become a target." Gary lowered his voice, feeling bad he had turned this into an argument. "But it's a risk I'm willing to take. I'm not going to let some psychopath keep you away from me."

"But, I can't stay in Saffron, he knows I'm there!" Ash asserted, a hint of panic in his voice.

"No! You _should_ stay in Saffron! You usually run away, so this will throw him off! Every time something like this has happened, you've run. It's what he' expecting you to do!"

"Do you really think that'll throw them off?" Ash chewed on his lip.

Gary huffed; wishing he himself was truly convinced. "It should. But this will be our way of standing up to this, you know? I won't watch you be bullied!"

That last part struck a chord, causing Ash to inhale uneasily. "It's true. I just… I just don't want to put you through everything I have to go through. You don't want to live with someone as paranoid as me. You'll grow sick of me, you'll be disappointed-"

"How about you let me decide that, okay?" Gary's voice was firm. "If I said I want to live with you, it's because I want to live with you. Besides, you're not that paranoid."

"You can't say I'm not paranoid, you don't know!" Ash looked Gary's way, hesitating. "…I keep a knife in a drawer near my bed, just in case. I don't sleep, and when I do I wake up, thinking something is going to happen. I'm going to keep you awake all the time and your going to end hating me, and hating that you ever asked me to move in with you! Gary, it's not so simple-"

"First off, I think the security my building offers is going to make you feel better. And second, if I've been sleeping with you in the same bed for the few last weeks, why haven't I experienced any of this 'waking up in the middle of the night' stuff?"

"I can't pay the rent, I'm quitting my job at Slackline and Brandon wasn't paying me, he was letting me work for rent—"

Ash's inability to stop countering made Gary's irritation grow. Why was Ash finding so many excuses?

He laughed. "You don't have to worry about the rent, I own the place."

Ash looked at him, a surprised look upon his face.

"…It used to be my parent's. They bought a lot of real estate when they were alive. " Gary's voice had gone soft, the gloom of the rain and the memory of them flooding him with nostalgia. He pushed it to the back of his mind.

Silence accompanied the sound of the continuous raindrops.

"…I guess you're right." Ash seemed to be out of ideas. "It's just… It's not that I don't want to live with you, I just don't want you to hate me if I do."

The way Ash's voice grew small made Gary's chest swell with affection. He reached for Ash's shoulder with a comforting hand, leaning in closer.

"Ash, I could never hate you. I just…" Gary faltered, Ash's sad eyes looking up a meet his own. How was it he had never noticed how profound they were? "…I just want to be with you. All my life, I've wanted this to be true. I can't just let this opportunity slip away, I can't let _you_ slip away, I just… Can't."

The rain stopped suddenly, as if the sincerity of Gary's words had wiped away the storm. An eerie calm settled over them, the world growing silent in the absence of raindrops. Both looked out of the car in awe, surprised by the suddenness of it all.

Ash sighed deeply and closed his eyes. It was a lot to take in. Finally, he looked over at Gary.

"Okay, lets do this." Ash nodded, unsure but determined. He reached and grasped Gary's hand tightly. "I want to be with you, too. You're the only one that's ever made me want to stay in one place before. Only you, Gary."

The sincerity of Ash's eyes made something within Gary's chest burst. Gary pulled Ash in for a hug, kissing Ash's forehead. The latter burst into laughter, taken by surprise.

"Only you, Ash. Only you!" Gary laughed as well, holding him closed.

"Are you going to let me keep my knife?" Ash's question was muffled by Gary's shirt, but he sniggered when Gary released him and shook his head dramatically.

"Ash- No! Next thing I know, I'm reaching for my underwear and- Ouch! There goes my finger. Or how about you hear something, late at night. Then you grab the knife, turn the corner and then—Oh! You stabbed me."

Ash laughed. "But what if something happens?"

"If something happens, we'll have two full teams of Pokémon to back us up." Gary started the engine and began driving towards the road once more. "If you and me were the strongest trainers of Pallet town, imagine what we could do together?"

"Together?" Ash repeated, as if trying out how the word felt in his mouth. Above, the sky was beginning to clear.

The saffron Skyline grew closer and closer. The mood between the two of them remained lighthearted for the rest of the trip, until the car found its way amidst skyscrapers and city buildings.

"We're going to have to stop by Paul's place." Ash announced in a grave voice. "He has all my stuff."

Gary shook his head, eyes wide. "I'll buy you new stuff."

Ash laughed.

"Common, Gary. He's not that bad. I guess you just have to get to know him, that's all…" Moments later, Ash seemed to have reconsidered, remembering Gary's and Paul's previous encounter. "Well… Heh, Maybe it'd be best if you stay in the car while I go get my stuff."

It didn't take them long for to arrive to Paul's townhouse. Gary parked the car, looking worried.

"Are you sure you want me to stay behind?" Gary didn't mask his concern. "Should I go with you?"

Ash shook his head, and reached out to touch Gary's cheek, a wonderful smile upon his face. "I'm fine, I promise."

He placed quick soft kiss upon Gary's lips, before rushing out off the car. Cold Air swept in, rustling his hair. Ash grimaced, looking back a Gary.

"Man, it's cold here! I already miss the island." Ash offered Gary a smile and a wink from over his shoulder, heading towards Paul's door. Gary watched him, wishing he would never have to leave. Eventually, Paul's silhouette opened the front door and stepped aside, letting the raven haired in.

* * *

Gary played around with the car's settings, bringing up the heat and clearing the windshields. About twenty minutes had passed and Ash had yet to return from Paul's. In his mind, Gary couldn't but help playing out the different situations that could possibly be happening within the town house.

He wondered if Ash was going to tell Paul about them, and how the purple hair would react. Gary visualized Paul throwing things and growing angry, telling Ash off. Things would get worse when Paul would begin throwing punches… Perhaps he was one of those who didn't agree with homosexuality and thought it could be punched out of somebody.

Gary worried. What if Paul actually did try to beat Ash up? Paul was bigger than Ash, would Ash be able to fight him off? Gary fidgeted in his seat, resisting the urge to go knock on the front door. He pushed away his worry though. Ash wouldn't be friends with some guy that would beat him up… Right?

Then Gary remembered what Ash had told him. They had traveled together through Unova. Ash said Paul never liked him back… but what if Paul changed his mind? Sometimes, when you can't have something, it suddenly becomes desirable. What if Paul confessed to Ash all his feelings, once he found out about him and Gary? Why else would he be so protective of Ash? What if Ash decided to choose Paul, and not Gary?

Gary shook his head and hit the steering wheel. The horn went off briefly, but not enough to be alarming.

_Stop being stupid,_ Gary told himself. If anything, he should start trusting Ash and not doubting him. What if Gary pushed him away because of all of his insecurities? He shook his head once more. No, Gary Oak was anything _but _insecure. Besides, Ash had told him… Gary was the only one…

The passenger seat door clicked open, Ash struggled with it while balancing a cardboard box on the other arm. Gary snapped out of his thoughts, and reached out to help him push open the door.

"So I imagine that went well." Gary deduced from Ash's jolly expression, which probably meant nothing Gary had been imagining had happened. The raven-haired climbed into the passenger's seat, a smile upon his face.

"I thought Paul was going to go berserk or something! Instead, he just got angry because I didn't leave a message." Ash explained, throwing his backpack and the cardboard box into the backseat. "I bet Misty is too. I haven't called her yet. I guess they must've gotten worried when I never came back the next morning."

Gary exhaled. "Hah, what a relief!

Upon arriving to the apartment, Gary took Ash by surprise by tackling him into the bed.

"I… Really… Missed… My bed." Gary hovered over Ash, on all fours, leaving kisses upon Ash's neck in between each word. Gary sunk onto his elbows, a smirk upon his lips. Yeah, he really missed his silk linen and the fluffiness of his pillows, but he decided he was happier upon returning to his bed with Ash_ in it_, not just the bed itself.

Ash's palms pressed into Gary's chest, grumbling "Don't take me by surprise like that…"

Gary was already pulling Ash's shirt up, trying to contain a mischievous laugh. Ash could feel in the creeping feeling of a blush upon his face, he tried to stop Gary. "Gary, stop…!"

Catching Ash's lip in a furious kiss, Gary silenced him and pressed Ash's wrists into the bed, weighing down on him. Only when Ash kissed him back, did he release Ash's wrist and remove his shirt. It wasn't long before both were naked and tangled in each other, the sheets underneath them a mess, both of them with unsteady breaths. By the time Gary began thrusting into Ash, they were both a gasping mess.

The way Ash groaned when Gary pressed into him only made Gary's head reel. He had to stop to catch his breath, panting heavily. Ash squirmed and pulled Gary close, enclosing him in a tight embrace

"Ah, Gary, ugh… Don't stop…." He mumbled, searching for Gary's eyes from beneath his heavy eyelids.

Gary let his weight fall over Ash, moving in deeper. Ash cringed, but it wasn't a bad cringe, just his body reacting to the sheer amount of pleasure. He was panting, shaking.

Gary grunted something and proceeded to attack Ash's neck, thrusting into him into a steady pace. Ash squirmed, but only did he thrash out violently, "—Ngh!" when Gary's lips met the crook of his neck, sucking upon it lightly. Gary stopped his administrations, looking at Ash with high eyebrows.

"A-ah, Gary...' Ash's voice was strained; a blush of embarrassment would have been clear in his face if he weren't already flushed. "Hah, don't stop now, hah…"

The trademark smirk was present once more. Gary leaned down and whispered with his husky voice, straight into Ash's ear. "Ash… do you like it, when I kiss you neck?"

Gary punctuated his last word by rolling his hips against Ash, testing the waters. Ash inhaled sharply, his body cringing again, hands clutching tightly around Gary's shoulder.

"Y-yes, I…" Ash was unable to think clearly, Gary kissing his neck, provocative, pulling out slowly, so slow…

"…Here?" Gary kissed his collarbone, his hand tangling into thick, raven hair. He pushed himself back in slowly, hissing at the passionate friction. Ash bucked underneath him. Unable to keep himself steady, he gripped at the bed, at Gary, twisting…

"Ngh, Gary, j-just get on… with it…" Frustration and pleasure burned within Ash. He knew Gary wanted him to beg for it. He shook his head, trying not to give in. Gary's unsteady breath was tickling Ash's neck; He too seemed to be struggling.

"What about… here?" Gary leaned down and caught the crook of his neck once more, this time prepared. Ash hissed in loudly, his hands flying to grip at the bed. Gary moaned into Ash's skin, the way Ash twisted and tightened around him, just… He couldn't stop himself anymore. He began thrusting, relentless, grasping at Ash's legs, wrapping them around his waist.

Ash threw his head back. Just seeing him like that drove Gary crazy. They'd grasp at each other, a groan escaping them every now and then in-between pants. Gary was so close, but he didn't want to finish just yet, not before Ash…

Gary bit into Ash's favorite spot again, one hand pulling his head back with a handful of black bangs. His other hand pushed one of Ash's legs forwards, allowing himself further access, his thrusts growing deeper, faster. Ash cried out loudly, his back arching, his toes curling—

Gary didn't need to look to know Ash was coming. Ash's grip around him, previously wandering from spot to spot, came to halt over Gary's shoulder. Ash grabbed him so tight, his whole body was tense and contracted, like he couldn't help it, like his life depended on it. In-between gritted teeth, Ash released one last moan before falling limp, his hold of Gary immediately loosening.

Ash's back fell flat unto the bed. He was a panting mess. The whole moment had Gary feeling like he was on fire, so he let himself go, plugging into Ash without any restriction, arms wrapped tightly around the raven haired man, keeping him in place. Ash began to cringe, his grasp tightening again—

With a jolt, Gary came, burying himself deeply into Ash. He spasmed several times, pleasure hitting him like waves, until they spit him out onto the shore, and he was once more in his room, sprawled over Ash and unable to contain his heavy pants.

It took some time before they recomposed themselves. Gary had rolled over to a side, and Ash pressed himself into him, shivering. It dawned upon Gary that this was the first time they had ever had sex in his room. This drew a smile upon his face.

"I just discovered your weak spot." Gary teased, looking down at Ash. Gary was surprised to find, in that short moment he had looked away, a veil of sadness had crossed over Ash's eyes, looking out with a blank stare.

"Huh?" Ash quickly blinked it away, looking up at Gary with a furrowed brow.

"I meant your neck, but Ash, what's…" Gary had meant to ask what was wrong, but his eye fell upon the crook of Ash's neck. A sweltering purple bruise marked the place like a neon sign. He couldn't help but laugh.

Ash's eyebrows rose slowly. "…What? Why are you laughing?"

"You've got a hicky." Gary snickered. Ash frowned and stood from the bed, moving to inspect himself in the mirror.

"Oh man, Gary, why'd you have to do that?" Ash allowed his sadness to reach him eyes, as if now he had an excuse to let it show. Gary hugged him from behind after slipping his shirt back on.

"Come on, Ashy boy, I know you're not really upset because of that, right?" Gary frowned when Ash said nothing, that blank stare looking ahead. Ash sighed deeply.

"You're right, I'm sorry, I don't know what got into me." Ash winced, as if snapping back to reality. He moved away and moved to put his shirt on.

"Wait, why are you apologizing if I'm the one who did this to you?" Gary suspected Ash was thinking of something else as he dressed himself. He placed a hand upon Ash's shoulder, seeking him out. Ash jumped, spinning around to face him, eyes wide.

Gary looked at him, a confused look upon his face. "Ash—What's wrong? Are you okay?"

"I-I-" Ash looked like a Pokémon caught before the headlights. He shook his head, trying to shake himself out of it. "I'm sorry! Agh, I can't think straight! I'm sorry, I'm just tired, I'm sorry…"

Ash turned away and threw himself face down into the head, grasping at his hair as if he had a headache.

"Hmm, so now you're apologizing for apologizing, interesting…" Gary sat besides him with a frown, rubbing his back. Ash lifted his head to look at him from over his shoulder. After a moment, he reached out for Gary and tugged him down to the bed with him, hugging him tightly.

"Gary… I'm just… Really happy, that's all." Ash's voice was muffled against his shirt; the raven-haired had wrapped himself around Gary's chest.

_Happy?_ Gary wanted to ask in disbelief, but he chose to believe him. He had already began listing what possibly could've gone wrong…

"I just… I'm so happy I get to be here… With you, really…" Ash continued, hiding his face. Gary stroked his hair in reassurance.

"Yeah, me too." He added, unsure of what to say. He wanted to know what was wrong, but what if he was just imagining it? Gary chose not to press the matter

They lay together in silence for several minutes, until Gary realized Ash's breathing had turned deep and his grip around Gary had loosened. He was asleep.

* * *

Later that night, after Ash had woken up, the weather had conjured another thunderstorm.

They proceeded to clear out some space in the closet. A giddy feeling invaded Gary as he folded Ash's clothes, but he couldn't help but to notice how Ash would absently put them into the cabinet. He'd have a worried glace, eyes on the windows, and flinch each time the thunder roared after a flash of light in the dark sky. He'd brush it off though, when Ash caught Gary looking at him. He'd offered Gary a small reassuring smile.

The rain continued deep into the night, once they were already sleeping. But when Gary woke up, the thunder had stopped.

Heavy shifting in the bed brought Gary back from his sleep. Eyes heavy, Gary glanced towards Ash's side of the bed, confused.

Ash's breathing sounded shallow and heavy. He rolled back and forth, dragging the sheets along with him. His raven hair was unruly, and his eyes were screwed closed as if he were thinking hard.

"…Gary… hah…" Ash muttered under his breath.

Before he could stop himself. Gary reached for him, like Ash was calling out for him from within his sleep. It didn't seem like Ash was having a pleasant dream.

"Ash? Ash, what's wrong?" Gary whispered, concerned. He inched forward to be closer. His hand upon Ash's arm seemed to stop his turmoil, and Ash fell still. "…Ash?"

Eyelids fluttering open, Ash looked up to the ceiling, looking confused. In a sudden motion, he sat up, for a brief moment fear flashing over his face.

"Ash!" Gary called out.

Ash looked around himself, and finally spotted Gary lying beside him, looking up at him with worried eyes. He exhaled and swallowed hard, bringing one hand to cover his face.

"Oh man, I'm so sorry." Ash forced his voice to be as steady as possible. His heart felt like it was about to leap out of his throat. "I didn't want to wake you up, did I wake you up?"

"Yeah, but it's okay, you were saying my name…" Gary's hand curled around his elbow urging him down. "Just lay down, babe, it's alright…"

Ash allowed himself to fall back, a deep sigh escaping him.

"I'm so sorry, Gary. Really." Ash looked up with a blank stare, looking mortified.

"No, it's okay, really, you just scared me for a second…" Gary stroked his arm, attempting to comfort him. "Were you having a dream..?"

Ash sighed again, rubbing his eyes. "Yeah, but… I can't remember it anymore. Really, I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, lets just go back to sleep, it's still early…" Gary felt his alarm fading away, pressing his forehead into Ash's shoulder and closing his eyes.

"No, I'm just going to get a glass of water, alright? I'll be right back…" Ash pulled the cover off of him and swung his legs off the bed, before stepping up and heading out of the room. Gary was left lying alone in the bed.

Hurt even though he had no reason to be, Gary turned around and tried to go back to sleep, trying not to listen to the sound of Ash's footsteps, the refrigerator door opening…

…Several minutes had passed and Ash had not returned, Gary realized when he turned around and reached for his waist, somewhere between half awake and half asleep.

After stretching, huge yawn and rubbing his eyes, Gary confirmed that indeed Ash had yet to return. Still groggy, Gary made his way out of the bed with a shiver and headed towards the kitchen.

Ash was seated near the kitchen counter, curled around a steaming cup of coffee like his whole body needed warming. He turned to spot Gary entering the room.

"Hey." He offered Gary a soft smile. Gary got close and ruffled his hair, the smell of coffee awakening his senses.

"Hey, what're you doing?" Gary took a seat besides him, leaning into Ash's shoulder

Ash tucked a loose strand of Gary's hair behind his ear. "Nothing I just… I wasn't going to be able to go back to sleep, that's all."

"S'okay." Gary mumbled, eyes closed. "You should've made me a coffee too, though…"

"You sure? Do you want one?" Ash seemed happy to find something to do for Gary. "Don't move, I'll make it for you."

Gary groaned as Ash moved away, leaving him nowhere to lean on and cold once again. Ignoring Ash's command, Gary drifted towards the couch before sprawling upon it and wrapping himself in the blanket.

"Just hurry up…"

Gary mind drifted once more, not quite asleep, until Ash patted his shoulder affectionately. Emerald eyes opened to see Ash smiling above him, a second cup of coffee in his hand. Gary shifting into a position allowed Ash to sit beside him before taking the warm mug from him.

He sipped, and the coffee tasted wonderful. He smiled, leaning into Ash once more.

"Thanks, this is great... Now _stay_." Gary ordered, moving his legs over Ash's lap to keep him in place.

Ash laughed, but didn't move away. They remained like that for several minutes, sipping their coffee.

Early morning light was beginning to spill into the apartment. Finally, the coffee was beginning to clear the cloud from Gary's head. He stretched again, sitting up straight.

"So… We're not going back to bed right?"

Ash frowned. "If you want to go back to bed, I don't mind really… I just don't think I'm going to go back to sleep, honest."

Gary shook his head. "Oh well, don't worry. I was planning on getting up early anyways."

"Really?" Ash sounded hopeful.

"Yeah." Gary lied. He had been planning on lying in bed all morning with Ash, cuddling up or doing god knows what until their stomachs called out for a late breakfast or an early lunch.

"I have to check in with work later, call them and see when they want me back. I'm going to have go fix something in my school schedule and stuff…" Gary knew all that could've waited until the afternoon, but it didn't really matter.

Ash groaned, running a hand through his black hair. "I guess I'm gunna have to do the same to. Call Julian… Tell him I'm quitting, if it isn't obvious by now."

"I bet Julian is going to be sad he's losing his best dj." Gary smiled, imagining himself standing over the man, crying out victory. He had always been way too touchy with Ash…

"Oh, him? I'm going to be the sad one! I won't get to Dj anymore!" Ash pouted, sinking into the sofa.

* * *

Around noon, the pair decided to go out for walk. Gary was proud to show off the expanse park only a block away, one of the upsides of living in his apartment.

"Ah yes! The air is so nice on days like these!" Ash released a deep breath.

Everything was wet, yet the sun up above was shinning, barely a cloud in the sky. All the leaves around them, the blades of grass, were glinting in the sun. The air was clean and fresh.

"Just a few more hours and the traffic will fill the place with smog again." Gary said.

Ash stopped a several feet ahead of Gary and turned to look at him. Gary nearly fell back once Ash ran to him and caught him in a close embrace. It was a surprise, since Ash wasn't usually this affectionate except drunk.

"Gary, always so negative!" Ash smacked a quick kiss on his lips and separated quickly. He threw him a smile behind his shoulder. "Don't be sad, be happy! It such a beautiful day! Ah…"

Once at the park, they walked by a central square where several amateur trainers were battling. Ash and Gary stopped at the edges, watching one of the battles from a distance.

"Piplup! Use bubble beam!" A girl with straight glossy blonde hair ordered. Maybe it was because of the way her voice sounded, or maybe it was because she was using a Piplup, but a picture of Dawn came into Ash's head.

"That girl reminds me of Dawn!"

"Is she the girl I met in Sinnoh? With the Piplup?"

The bubble beam struck down an electrekid, which was thrown off its feet. A cloud of dust was lifted from the ground.

"Yeah, that's her! Her starter was a Piplup! I wonder if this girl's starter is Piplup."

"That Piplup is strong." Gary noted the electekid had fainted as the cloud of dust cleared. "It took down the electekid despite the type advantage. Starter Pokémon usually end up being of the trainers most powerful."

Ash's eyes fell away from the battle as the trainers returned their Pokémon. "Starter pokemon… Everybody's starter pokemon is their strongest."

Gary laughed. "I still remember the day we got our starters! You slept in!"

"You were a total jerk about it, by the way." Ash mumbled.

"I have to admit it, I was really angry at you. How could you forget? We were supposed to start our journey that day!" Gary continued, new trainers preparing for a battle.

"Liar, you were really happy and smug about it!" Ash argued, sending a mock glare at Gary. "I wouldn't of have gotten a Pokémon and you would of gotten a head start! If it hadn't been for Pikachu—"

Ash cut off himself suddenly, as if he had fallen into a trap. He gulped and continued. "…I wouldn't have started my journey that day…I think that day was one of my unluckiest yet luckiest day of life.

"Unluckiest or Luckiest?" Gary was confused.

"Both, I swear!" Ash had soft smile, reminiscing. "I was unlucky because I slept in, there were no official starter pokemon left, I had totally humiliated myself in front of you and the whole town, Pikachu wouldn't listen to me, then we nearly died when a flock of spearow tried to kill us in the middle of a thunder storm."

Gary blinked, taken aback. "Woah! Gramps said something about you having a rough start but I didn't know this! I do remember the storm, though."

Ash laughed. "I actually stole Misty's bike to get away from the spearows. She was fishing nearby. That's how we met!"

"I did know you had stolen her bike… I always thought it was weird she was so nice about it…" Gary scratched his head.

"Nice?! Yeah right, _nice_." Ash rolled his eyes, remembering Misty back in the day. "But anyways, I was really lucky, too."

"How so?"

"Well, I got Pikachu as my starter, and even though he didn't listen to me at first, He was the best starter I could've asked for. We survived the spearow, and in the end, when the storm ended and the clouds parted, I saw Ho-oh, there in the rainbow! The legendary Pokémon!"

"Wait, what? No way!" Gary sounded incredulous, that last part coming out of the blue.

"I can't believe I've never told you this before!" Ash laughed. "I guess it never came up! Yeah, I totally saw Ho-oh, but I didn't even know it was Ho-oh then. I only figured it out when I was in Jhoto, and saw a picture of it! How cool is that?"

"Sounds amazing…" Gary's eyes were narrow. "Are you sure it was Ho-oh?"

Ash nodded, as if in a dream. "Of course it was Ho-oh! It was amazing, I know I didn't see it up close, but I've never seen anything like it."

"And what about Pikachu? Did Pikachu see it?" Gary asked.

Ash's smile faltered. He took a deep breath. "Yeah. Pikachu saw it too."

"That's awesome… Hey, where's Pikachu now?" Gary asked nonchalant, turning away from the battle to look at Ash.

Two tiny trainers with a sentret and a jigglypuff began battling. It was actually quite endearing. Ash seemed to be watching with a lot of concentration. Two attacks collided and once one, the field lifted a cloud of dust.

Ash sighed. "Pikachu is with the Proffesor. Have you seen him?"

"M-me?" Gary hadn't gone back since _the incident_. "I haven't been to lab since… Since forever… I haven't been to Pallet town in a few years."

"Hmm." Ash's response was absent minded. They reassumed their walk, hands in their pockets.

"And what about now? Do you have Pokémon with you?" It occurred to Gary that he hadn't seen any of his pokemon.

"Yeah, I have a team on me. When I'm substituting for Brandon, I use them." Ash mumbled, looking away.

"That's weird, I thought you always had Pikachu on your team—"

"Pikachu's not on my team." Ash said darkly. Gary stopped, surprised at his tone.

"Why not?" Gary continued. Internally, he knew he shouldn't press the matter any forwards, but he couldn't stop.

"If Pikachu were here, you'd see him. He doesn't like being in a pokeball, remember?" Ash's voice changed, reverted back to normal. It was just as surprising, as a soft smile grew on his face. He looked bittersweet.

_That doesn't answer my question._ Gary thought, watching Ash step close to him.

"Gary… I better get going. Slackline is just a few blocks from here. I'll walk over; you should go to your school anyways. It's just a few blocks from here too, so we can meet up later."

"But-" Gary didn't expect it. "How are you going to get into the apartment? You don't have any keys! Maybe we should go together-"

Ash shook his head. "I'll wait for you in the lobby if I get there first. You'll probably get there first, since it's closer…"

Ash placed a quick peck on Gary's cheek, before walking away on his own, leaving Gary behind. He waved one last time before turning the corner.

* * *

Gary wondered if Ash had left in such a hurry because he had pressed on the subject about Pikachu. Gary could somehow sense when things weren't okay with Ash. He'd get this look: sort of like that look he wore each time he returned from one of the long walks with Walter at the beach, or how he'd stare blankly as if he truly was miles away. Or maybe it was in the way he hesitated whenever he had to say Pikachu's name or maybe—

Gary tried not to think about it. Perhaps Ash just wanted to save some time, and it would be quicker if they each went to their own destination by themselves. Even though, Gary couldn't shake the feeling that he had somehow shot Ash down. He was so happy and chirpy a few minutes before, and then Gary _just had to_ bring Pikachu up…

Things at the university Campus were fast. Gary said hi to some acquaintances from his classes, and had his papers sorted out in less than forty minutes. All the time, Gary mulled over the Ash he used to know, so happy with his Pikachu on his shoulder, so determined, and the present day Ash, so saddened within the blink of an eye, his Pikachu no where to be spotted.

A Gary walked quickly to his place. When he reached the lobby he was out of breath, but Ash was nowhere to be seen.

"Mr. Oak!" The receptionist called. Gary whipped around to face him. "Mr. Oak! That boy was just here, Mr. Ketchum, I believe."

Gary approached the reception, eyeing the man. He was in his late forties perhaps; he looked like conservative man, but never mentioned Gary's preferences or even gave him funny looks. Gary wondered what he thought about Ash.

"Well? Where did he go?"

"I'm afraid I can't say, sir. But he did leave you this note…" The man pulled a folded paper from underneath and slid it across the reception. Gary took it and somehow managed to recognize Ash's print, boxy handwriting from many years ago.

_Gary I forgot my cellphone_

_I'm going to Misty's to get my bike, I'll bring it here_

_I'll call you from her place_

"How long ago did he leave?" Gary questioned, lifting his eyes from the note and folding it into his pocket.

"About fifteen minutes ago…"

Gary thanked the man, and went for the elevator. Damnit, why couldn't of Ash waited a little longer? He truly did have a nasty habit of forgetting his cellphone all the time…

An hour later and Ash had yet to call. Gary knew he could've called Misty, but didn't want to be overbearing or sound needy…

Half an hour later Gary's cellphone ringed. He rushed over to pick up.

"Hello? Ash?"

"Hello, is this Gary Oak speaking?" A familiar female voice was on the line.

"Who is this?" Gary sat in his couch, feeling deflated.

"This is Officer Jenny, From the Saffron City police department. Are you Gary Oak?"

Gary sat up, concerned. "Yes, this is him. What's wrong?"

"I was calling because the other day, Ash Ketchum pressed charged against his assailant. In the paperwork, your number was listened as an emergency contact. We've been trying to locate Ash for the last few days but haven't been able to."

"Yes, he left his cellphone and left town…" Gary explained. He wondered if Ash had even charged it since they had come back…

"Okay, but is he okay? Have you seen him recently?" Jenny's voice sounded concerned, like she was holding something back.

"What do you mean? I just saw him, he's fine! Why are you asking this?" Worry filtered into Gary's voice.

"It's just… There's been a breakout. The other day, some Pokémon helped some of the prisoners escape…"

"Escape? What do you mean escape? Don't you take people's Pokémon away went you put them in a cell?" Gary was highly undignified, how could they let something like that happen?

"Ash Ketchum's assailant was one of them." Jenny continued, ignoring Gary's questions. "We tried to talked to Ash Ketchum to warn him, just in case this kid tries something again so he can watch out!"

"Watch out?" Gary was outraged. "_You_ were supposed to watch out! Isn't it your job, to not let this happen? By allowing him to escape you've put Ash's life in danger!"

"Mr. Oak, we did everything we could!" By now Jenny's voice was just annoying and dumb. How could the women act so stupid? "He's on our list, sir, we're looking for him."

"If there's any news, let me know." Gary then hung up, not feeling up to listen to her excuses. He was so upset, how could this have happened?

Gary dialed Misty number. Everything holding him back didn't matter anymore, he just wanted to now if Ash was safe. On the fourth ring, Misty answered.

"Helloo, lover boy. How ya doing, Gary?" Misty giggled. In the background, the sound of laughter.

"Misty, hey. Is Ash with you?"

"Gary! I'm so mad at you! You guys just left the club all of the sudden, things went crazy!" Misty ignored him, a slight wine in her voice.

"I know Misty, but—"

"You promised you would call me but you didn't! Suddenly both of you won't answer any calls and you just disappear! Gary!"

"Misty! I'm sorry alright?" Gary was loosing his patience. "Just please tell me Ash is there, alright?"

Misty voice could be heard speaking to someone, as if she had left the call hanging. The receiver made a few odd noises like it was being picked up again.

"…Hey." Ash's voice was chirping again. Gary released a deep exhale of air. "Gary, where are you?"

"I'm at the apartment!" He was very relieved. "What about you, when are you coming over?"

"Oh, Misty was having a late lunch with some friends so she invited me up. Don't you want to come over?" Ash offered, and indeed the sounds in the background sounded like a dinner party.

Gary was slightly annoyed at Misty. He didn't really like most of her friends. "Not really, but you'll come back soon, right?"

Ash hesitated. "Well, were kind of talking and catching up and stuff, so it might get late… So don't wait for me, all right? I'll see you tonight, alright?"

Gary's relief fell flat, and even though Ash was okay, Ash wasn't planning on coming back until later.

"Yeah, Ash… Just be careful… I can pick you up, just call me, I think I should pick you up." Gary struggled to find a way to break the news. If he'd pick him up, he could find out if somebody chased them back home or—

"Gary, that defeats the whole purpose of coming here! I'm coming back on my motorcycle, alright? I can't just bring it in the car…" Ash laughed, but he seemed to be laughing at something happening a Misty's place.

"Okay… Just, you know… watch out." Gary mumbled, wishing the ground could swallow him.

"Alright! I'll see you soon! Bye!" Ash's enthusiastic voice was followed by the click of the phone hanging up, and the beep of the line going dead.

Gary groaned and wondered what to do.

* * *

Soon enough, day faded into night. Time crawled by slow, and Gary still didn't know what to do. He'd pace back an forth, cleaning the apartment to keep his mind off the news he was supposed to break but failing. He was worried about Ash. Why did things always have to go wrong for him?

Gary found himself on his computer, searching the Internet. Soon enough, he found newspaper articles from four years ago, hoping things would be clearer…

"Brutal Murders of Pokémon Trainer devastates Viridian City" a news heading read, a strange stirring of guilt within Gary. It's not like this was easy to talk about to Ash anyways…

Gary scrolled on.

There was a picture of a burned down cottage tapped off by the authorities, an officer Jenny standing in a corner, looking out towards the wreckage.

"_Last Wednesday, authorities struggled to stop the fire that spread within the Viridian Forest. Though the ecological damage was minimal due to the heavy thunderstroms the nights before, the evacuation of the forest was deemed a failure when the bodies on three teenagers were found within a cabin consumed by the fire. _

"_How does a wet forest burn down?" The chief of the viridian City police department spoke in a press conference. "It's only be possible if the fire was orchestrated, and that is what we regret to inform the general public."_

_Though the motive behind the crimes committed is unclear, the police believe the arson may have been used as a way to cover up evidence. The bodies recovered confirm that three teenage males had been murdered previous to the fire, a claim backed up by injuries discovered in the autopsies. The police has assumed these were Pokémon trainers, since they have yet to be reported missing. Viridian officer Jenny spoke when asked about the matter: 'We regret to inform the public of the murders transpired in the Viridian Forest this week. The source of the fire was a cabin where three bodies were found. What was initially though to be wild fire was actually arson. We ask travellers to look out for one another and to stay vigilant'. The motive behind these senseless murders is yet to be determined. The bodies have yet to be identified…'"_

It didn't matter anymore. Gary was way too worried. Once more he dialed Misty's number.

"Put Ash on!" He didn't even let Misty speak. After a short shuffling noise, Ash was on the line, sounding confused.

"Gary? Is everything alright?"

Gary took in a deep breath. "No, Ash. It's not. Please, just come home. This is an emergency."

"W-what's wrong?"

"I'll explain when you get here. Just be careful, make sure you not being followed, all right? Be careful…"

"…Okay, I'll see you soon." After a long silence, Ash agreed easily… Gary wondered why Ash didn't ask what was wrong again. Maybe its because if Ash wished to stall the bad news, wishing to have it out of his mind for longest time possible.

* * *

When Ash got home, Gary had spent the last hour pacing, induced into a crazed state by heavy worry. It was only worse that Ash had arrived staggering, bleary eyed and smelling of booze.

"What- What took you so long?" Gary rushed up to Ash as he closed the door. Though Ash was now within his reach, it felt like he was miles away, a confused and questioning look upon his face. Grasping at his elbows, Gary tried to bring him back, ground him into reality.

"I… " Ash began, walking past Gary and into the living room, clumsy hands working to unzip his jacket. "…What happened? Why… Why were you so worried?"

In that moment, Gary realized how bad he must've looked. Ash had only been gone for a few hours before the desperate calls from Gary began.

"Officer Jenny. She called." Gary laid it out straight, crushing the notion of him being needy. "The guy who cut your hand-" Gary motioned towards Ash's still bandaged wound. "—He escaped. There was a break out, they lost him—"

The jacket crumpled onto a nearby recliner, drops of water flying about. Ash's look was the same: distant, but the frown upon his lips grew deeper.

In slow motion, he sat down on the couch with a blank stare. "...He got away?"

Gary bit his lips. He approached Ash slowly, a tentative arm wrapping around Ash's shoulders. For a moment, Gary almost forgot what he was saying, bewildered by how cold Ash felt in his touch.

"I was worried… Ash, I'm sorry." Gary rubbed his palms up and down Ash's sleeves, attempting to warm him. With a sinking feeling, Gary realized he could've told him over the phone, he shouldn't have forced away from his friends—

"Gary." Ash met Gary's eyes finally, though a veil of sadness lingered over him. "What doesn't it matter? What does it matter anymore?"

Ash stood from his spot, slow, moving as if his bones had grown heavy. Without a second glace at Gary, he disappeared into the bedroom.

"What does it matter?" Gary sounded incredulous, following him into the bathroom, where Ash changed out of his damp clothes in lethargic movements. "What do you mean, '_What does it matter'_?"

Ash stopped, leaning against the sink with both hands, his head hanging low. Gary did a double take when he thought he heard Ash chuckling softly.

"It doesn't matter whether that guy's in jail or not. If he doesn't kill me, my nerves will, so don't worry. This will be the death of me, I know it."

He spun around, offering Gary an uncharacteristic smile, catching Gary off guard. "So here to living life, _miserable_!"

Gary watched him, horrified and stunned, as Ash walked pasted him and crawled into the bed. It was so out of character, for Ash to say something so pessimistic, his words heavy and slurred.

After a long moment, Gary finally spoke. "…Some people think they can drink their troubles away, Ash. "

"Maybe this way, I can sleep finally sleep at night." Ash replied without missing a beat, his voice a muffled by the pillow. "I won't have to lay awake, until the morning light."

Suddenly, surprising even himself, Gary burst into the bed, teeth gritted in anger. The next moment, he was straddling Ash, flipping Ash onto his back so he could face him, a swelling frustration building within Gary. Tight hands shook at the wide-eyed raven-haired' shoulders.

"Are you even listening to yourself?" Gary could barely restrain himself from slapping him. "Who are you? What have you've done to Ash Ketchum?"

"Gary, I-!" Ash began, his eyebrows knotted.

"Stop it! I've never heard you say anything like this!" Gary relished from the fact he was getting a reaction out of him. There was no escape; Ash was trapped underneath his heavy weight, no longer far away in the distance of his mind. "Snap out of it! Is this the alcohol speaking?! Would you say this if you were sober?!"

"Gary, what are you talking about—"

"Stop drinking, Ash! You have problem, and you're only making it worse!" Gary's hands moved to grasp the side of Ash's face, fingers digging into his hair. "This has to stop, I can't see you like this anymore-!"

Suddenly, Gary identified the trace of fear in Ash's eyes. His cold shaking hands had flown over Gary's in surprise, eyes blinking rapidly—

Gary sprung away, moving to the edge of the bed. His breaths became quick and unsteady, his heart pumping. Trying to shake the feeling away, Gary let his head fall into his hands.

There was a long silence; the only sound was that of Ash shifting in the covers, and Gary's heavy breath.

The lightweight of a cold hand on Gary's shoulder caught him by surprised. He spun around to find Ash behind him, his legs folded underneath him, a concerned look on his face.

"Oh, Ash!" Gary couldn't stop the surge that made him hug Ash tightly, hiding his face in his shoulder. "I'm sorry!"

Ash's cold hands ghosted up and down Gary's unsteady back, but he remained in silence,

Gary pulled back, Ash's hands remaining on his shoulders. With a pang Gary read the hurt within Ash's sienna eyes.

"I… I've just never seen you this way." Gary's voice was unsteady. "… And I know, it's the booze, you can't think clearly—"

Ash allowed the pain to reach his face, moving away and laying face first in the bed. "Leave me alone, Gary."

"And to see you gulping it down, as if you'll be better off once you don't feel anything!" Gary ignored him, crawling besides him. He lowered his voice, apologetic. "I can't kept it to myself anymore… I'm worried about you."

Ash sighed deeply, keeping his eyes closed. "Leave me alone…"

"Talk to me, Ash!" Gary's eyes began to sting. "Don't just lay there! Say something-! "

Ash sat up abruptly, anger in his unsteady voice. "What do you want? Huh? You want me to humiliate myself, tell you that I'm afraid to sleep because of what haunts me? What do you get out of it? What do you want?!"

Ash's cry evolved into full-scale shouts, his eyes had a watery sheen over them. Gary recoiled away from him, taken aback.

"I want to help you, I can't bear to see you this way—"

"You can't bear to see?" Ash's voice was just as malicious as his glare. "I think you enjoy it! Enjoying seeing how much you actions have had a repercussion in my life! And now you think you can come in and just _fix it_—"

Why Ash didn't continue, Gary didn't know. Instead, he flung back into a lying position, curling away from Gary. Perhaps, Ash had seen the deep pain that his words had set off within Gary's chest. Gary couldn't even retaliate, he could barely breathe—Ash's words burned badly.

Within Gary, it felt like a dam had broken. The deep-seated feeling of guilt returned, the feeling Gary thought had diminished and hoped would soon go away…

So his doubts were true: Ash had never really forgiven him. Silent, Gary wished he could disappear, but he couldn't find it in him to leave, even as silent tears began to sting his eyes, and Ash could turn around at any moment to see him this vulnerable.

A long time passed, and Gary remained, soundless in his own pain. Just as he began to gather his strength to leave to sleep in the couch, Ash shifted, moving to lay completely face forwards, hugging the pillow to his face, trying to stifle a gasp.

"Gary…" Ash's voice was strained and unsteady. "…I didn't mean it. I'm sorry."

Then it became apparent that Ash was sobbing, subdued and quiet, but his heaving movements gave him away. Gary wiped away his own tears, gulping heavily.

"No, Ash..." Gary placed a reassuring hand of his back, pained at having to see him this way. He was unsure of what to say.

"You're trying to help me… and I just try to hurt you." Ash sat himself up, hugging his knees closely. He kept his eyes closed, but his eyelashes looked wetter than his hair had looked when Ash had returned from the rain.

They remained like that for several minutes: Gary rubbing Ash's back as he shook, retaining his sobs within with small, sharp gasps.

After a long moment, Ash finally unwound. Exhausted, it was as if he melted back into the mattress, staring blankly at the ceiling.

"Maybe you're right… Maybe I need to talk about it." Ash's voice hitched, yet he tried to regain the distant look from before, where he was far away and unreachable. "I'll talk, if you want me to... I know you're too afraid to talk about it, anyways."

Still glassy eyed, Ash threw Gary an insecure look, before scrambling to sit up and wipe away the streaks of tears upon his cheeks.

"Ash… Only if you want to." Gary placed a reassuring hand on his back. Was the air of privacy that always surrounded Ash clearing? Was he truly letting Gary in, sharing the truth that was making him sick?

"Alright… Alright." Wiping at his puffy eyes, Ash released a weak laugh. "…I bet you didn't sign up for this."

Gary allowed himself a small smile. "I did read the small print, you know."

Ash sighed deeply, both hands fumbling on his lap. "…I don't even know where to begin. I think I need another drink."

The frown upon Gary's face was inevitable. "No, Ash, you don't need another drink. You need water, a cup of coffee, maybe-"

With a sound of contempt, Ash let hin head fall into his palms. "Dammit, Gary, you don't understand-!"

"So help me understand!" Gary urged, gritting his teeth.

"I drink because it helps take my mind off it, dammit!" Ash seethed, clutching his hair tightly.

"Ash drinking isn't going to make you feel better, or make you forget—"

"It's not about forgetting!" Throwing a glare towards Gary, Ash finally showed his face. "It's about living! I should've died, I shouldn't have made it, dammit, it's not fair, they deserved to live just as much as I did! And I can't even make my life worth living, because there's a fucking psychopath trying to ruin my life! I wish I could say that the fact that I lived was worth it, but it's not Goddamnit, it's not!"

Tears began falling down his face once more, and Ash shook in anger. Gary watched, stunned.

"Sometimes, I drink so this feeling doesn't feel so heavy… I drink because I have nothing to lose… Because maybe this sadness will leave me alone!"

With a burst, Gary's wrapped his arms around Ash, hugging him closely. Ash tried to break free, a tears escaping him, but his attempt was weak and without strength,

"Shh, Ash, don't ever say that. You survived for a reason, and thank god you're alive, you didn't let them defeat you-!"

"What reason?! Huh? There is no reason! My life ended the day you left me behind!" Ash shrugged away from Gary abruptly, pulling his knees up and casting his head low.

Though Ash's word felt like a deep jab into his chest, Gary shoved the hurt away, like swimming through a sea of debris. "Ash, I always looked up to you because the way you saw life! You never let anything get you down, not the defeats, not the losses, not even me! And before I had you in my life, everyday I felt like dying! It's like… You shine this light, it's not what you do, but who you are! You make me want to live, you make me want to be a better person!"

Ash was shaking his head, his hair falling away to reveal the nape of his neck. Weakly, he said, "No… Not true…"

"-And it's not just because I love you, I know that every person you've met, you've made some kind of impact in their life. If you would've died, the world would've suffered a great loss!"

Gary blinked desperately, ignoring the stinging of his eyes. He heart thumped madly; every word he said with passion; He wished he could get it through to Ash.

"But what of the others? They didn't deserve to die, Gary, They didn't deserve to disappear, they didn't deserve to suffer…" Ash's words were followed by his silent sobs, his shoulder's shaking.

Gary wanted to say something profound. Something about how he understood the refined agony caused in those left behind by death, something that could perhaps provide relief and comfort, something Ash could remember when he lay awake at night, uncomprehending, but Gary couldn't find the words.

"I'm sorry." He said. "I'm so sorry."

It took a few moments for Ash to recompose himself. He finally looked up, with bloodshot and tired eyes, knotted eyebrows.

"And to know that he's still out there… Living as a free man… It makes me sick. How many others has he killed? And all for his fucking sick delusion…" Ash made a sound of frustration, slapping one hand over his face.

"I don't get it… Why haven't the police found him? Investigated? They have a witness! You! You can tell them what he looked like, you can-"

"I can't tell them." Ash, unconsciously or consciously Gary did not know, was trying to punish himself by pulling at his black hair. "I never saw his face. It was like he had this trick, this illusion, every time I tried to look at his face, there was this bright light that hurts your eyes, and when I could see him, he was wearing this reptile mask, and the drugs made me see the face of a monster, Fuck, Gary, I still fucking see it in my dreams, I can't..."

"Ash, shh, stop…" Gary wrenched Ash's hands from his raven hair, trying to stop him from hurting himself. "Maybe he used a psychic move? Confuse Ray? Confusion? It's not your fault you didn't see anything! A lot of criminals do that, kidnappers, robbers…"

"Still," Ash shook his head. "Nothing I told the police helped them. I told them –" Ash locked up for a moment, before swallowing heavily. "I told them everything I knew. I told them about the tool shed. I told them about how he had tortured and murdered three other trainers, how he used their _blood_ to—to—"

Gary remained in silence, terrified that any tiny movement would push Ash away; he would dash from his spot and spin the subject until it was clear he would never speak about it again—

"It didn't matter. He covered his tracks. He burned down the cabin he had built to slaughter us, the property was unregistered in any books, There was no DNA, no trace—" Ash choked, slamming his hands down on the bed. "Dammit! Dammit, I want to fucking kill him, I'd fucking kill him with my own hands if I had the chance- but then again what justice would that be? I'd just be another murder and I'd _still_ be the souvenir of his kills!"

"You can't let him win, Ash. You can't let him define you for the rest of your life—"

Something in Gary's words was especially painful, causing Ash to double over and cover his eyes. "Oh, Gary, that's what Peter said…"

Sienna eyes looked into Gary's, searching, confused. "That's exactly what he said, Gary, how..?"

Gary shook his head, something tugging in his chest. It was hard to keep his voice steady. "..,Peter? I don't know, I don't even know him, but it's true…"

One hand covering his mouth, Ash looked away, eyes wide. Finally he said, "Peter was one of the trainers… One of the trainers he killed. If he wasn't for him, I'd be dead."

This time, the tears from Ash's eyes flowed freely, unlike previously, where it felt like they had been torn from Ash after putting out a hard fight, kicking and screaming. Grief invaded Ash, and his eyes looked three shades of brown lighter than usual, collecting and gathering pools light.

Gary placed a gentle arm around him shoulder, close to tears himself. It was painful to witness Ash's grief so plainly.

"…I almost got away once." Ash began, staring blankly ahead, not bothering to wipe away his tears. "The man had pulled me out from my fucking cage… He wanted to torture me… _See what I was made of_… But then there was this noise, like the cry of a Pokémon, and since he had already tied me down with barbed wire…

Ash held out his arms, scattered with scars. "…he thought I wouldn't escape."

Gary bit his lips, wincing. He knew hearing Ash's story wouldn't be easy.

"I tried to free Peter, and the other remaining trainer… The third trainer had died the day before…" Ash faltered before he was able to continue. "But they had locks on their cages, and the door was locked too. Peter told me to open a window and hide, so I'd throw him off when he'd come, but I didn't listen… I tried to attack him instead."

Suddenly, as clear as day, the moment replayed itself in Ash's eyes. _He lunged at the tall figure with a cry of anger—They'd tumble down, into the dirt, in Ash's hand the hammer he found discarded. He was on top, He swing the hammer up to finish it, once and for all- but before it could fully come down, a swift hand would catch his wrist, and in a dizzying motion the world would reverse on it's self, The man was on top now, there was a tug on his arm, and –snap! Ash screamed._

"No, no, no, _no_!" Ash clutched at his arm in panic, remembering the pain acutely. "He broke my arm, he broke my arm, He, he-!"

"Ash!" Gary grasped his face and forced Ash to look at him. "It's okay now! You're safe now, okay?"

Throwing himself at Gary, he hugged him tightly, arms wrapped around Gary's neck. "Gary! I knew he was going to kill them if he knew I had escaped! I thought—I thought I could save them! But I should've listened-!"

Gary held him close, shaking his head. "No—Ash! It's not your fault! There was nothing you could do!"

Ash sobbed freely, pulling away to wipe his tears, shameful. " I wish I had died then and there, I wish he could've killed me in his anger so I wouldn't have to live with knowing I hadn't tried hard enough… Instead he just beat up me until I couldn't move, how fucking pathetic…"

"Ash…" Gary grasped at his hands, but Ash pulled away.

"The other trainer didn't last another day. The psychopath killed him slowly, said he would've made it quicker if I hadn't pissed him off. He said he would've killed me first, but the there was a ritual, you see—He had to kill us in the order he had kidnapped us, and I was the last one." Ash said plainly.

Ash remained silent for a long time, taking deep steadying breathes. Gary was afraid to touch him; afraid Ash would find horror in his touch. Gary's heart felt like it would jump out of his throat, his insides felt twisted – Ash's recalling of the events was gruesome, frightening….

"Peter was a trainer, too, you know. He would talk and talk, tried to keep me awake, said I had received and nasty hit to the head. I still hear him, sometimes, you know, yelling at me 'Wake up! Wake up!' in my dreams. I wake up, scared shitless, but it's all in my head…"

After letting out a deep sigh, Ash continued. "He kept telling me we were going to make it, but I didn't believe him, I was in too much pain to think it was true… But then we got our chance. Peter said it was fate answering his prayers…"

"How did you get out?" Gary asked in quiet wonder.

"There was a storm. It was flooding the shed where the cages were; a torrent of water was sweeping in from underneath the door, bringing in dirt, leaves, _branches…_ He grabbed this branch- You see, the man had us in these cages dug into the ground, around this pit. The pit was in the middle, and our cages surrounded the pit, where he would torture us. Above us, on ground level, he had all sorts of tools; we were in some kind of tool shed… Peter began picking at the dirt above his cage, taking out chunks of it. The rain helped. Eventually, the one of the tool storages fell into the pit, the dirt beneath it had given away. Tools fell everywhere. I couldn't believe our luck. With a pair of pincers, Peter cut himself out. He freed me too, but I could barely climb out of the pit, I was so beaten up."

Suddenly Ash's eyes were watery once more, a frown upon his lips. "I thought we had made it, I thought we were free… But the man had heard the commotion. He snuck up on Peter just as he had broken me out… There was a struggle, but suddenly I got this surge at adrenaline, we fought him, together. He managed to cut me pretty bad with his knife but couldn't even feel my broken arm I was so desperate- Finally, We forced him under the water until he stopped moving..."

Gary was holding his breath. Something was about to go terribly wrong.

"We made our way up the pit when suddenly—something grabbed Peter's foot! It was him! He wasn't dead! He stabbed Peter in the leg, but Peter kicked him away, but when we managed to run away but Peter couldn't run fast enough. The psychopath sent his Pokémon after us—a Tyranitar and a Garchomp."

Gary gulped heavily. How were they supposed to survive that?

"Peter started freaking out…" Ash's voice became unsteady; the words were causing him extreme difficulty. "He started begging… Saying 'please Ash, run, go without me, take care of my Pokémon, tell my family I love them, tell them I'm sorry!''

Ash struggled to not break out into sobs. "I didn't care, I wasn't going to leave him. He was the only reason… the only reason I hadn't given up and the only reason I was still alive."

Another deep breathe, followed by fresh tears. "But Tyranitar used earthquake, and the ground beneath us crumbled into a landslide. He was leaning on me, but I lost him. We were thrown in different directions, and when I finally looked up from where I had fallen… The man was walking towards Peter. Peter couldn't get up; he was just screaming "Run, Ash run!" The man took out his knife… and stabbed Peter over and over again in the back, until he stopped screaming and blood was coming out of his mouth instead."

Ash faltering, leaning forwards to hug his knees. He allowed himself to sob, inconsolable. Gary placed his hand on his back, biting his cheek, allowing Ash's pain to break through to him, a tear escaping the corner of Gary's eye.

"There was nothing you could do, Ash. I'm so sorry, Ash, I'm so sorry..."

Ash shook his head, glaring at an unknown figure. "I just ran. I couldn't even see clearly anymore, I was crying… The Garchomp must've landed an attack because the next thing I knew I was flying, and when I landed it felt like my chest had been crushed… I couldn't breathe. I knew it was over. The last of adrenaline was squeezed out of me, and I knew I wasn't going to be able to fight anymore."

There was long silence as Ash contemplated his words, reliving the feeling of a complete loss of faith. Gary rubbed Ash's back, wiping at his own eyes.

"…There worst was… There were some trainers, in a field just past a few trees before me. They couldn't see me but I could hear them… 'What was that? Should we check it out?' The rain had finished, they would've of heard me if I had called out… But I couldn't. I couldn't even get air into my lungs."

Gary sucked in air. It was unfathomable: Ash's mix of desperation, pain and grief; as he suffocated in silence, help just a few meters away.

Ash spoke evenly. "He reached me. He had seen the trainers and returned his Pokémon, covered my mouth." Ash scoffed. "I don't know why. I couldn't make a sound anyways."

He crossed his arms in his chest, chewing his cheek before continuing. "He held out the knife, whispered he was going to take me back, kill me in the shed so he could kill me properly, collect my blood or something… But there was something else."

The room became pregnant with his vague silence.

"…Something else?" Gary's voice was barely a whisper.

"A Pokémon… It was hovering just a few feet away. It looked curious, small and white… I couldn't hear what the man was saying anymore, I was just looking at _that Pokémon_… I must've seen it before. Suddenly, this white light burst out of it… and that was it. I woke up a few days later in the hospital."

"…Wait, what Pokémon was it?" Gary could barely take in the whole story. It was too unreal.

Ash sighed, closing his eyes, allowing the last of his tears fall. "I… I don't know. I just wish… It made more sense… Did it save me? Why me? Why not Peter, too?"

Wrapping himself around his knees, Ash allowed himself to sob. "I don't know how to live with this."

Gary came in close, placing a gentle arm around his shoulders. "It's okay, Ash, Shh, cry all you want, it's okay, it's okay…"

Unaware of how much time passed, Ash felt like he sobbed for ages. Each time he felt like it would stop, it was suddenly difficult to swallow and he broke down all over again, tears pouring out from him while Gary whispered reassuring nonsense, until Ash felt empty and numb, until each breath felt like it was filling the empty shell that was his body and no more tears would come.

A long moment of silence passed before Ash finally spoke, his voice soft. "Huh… I think I really needed to do that… I feel… So much lighter…"

Gary stroked back his hair, wiping gently at his cheek. "Ash, I love you."

An involuntary, weak laugh escaped Ash. "You don't need to say that Gary, I'll be fine, I think…"

"I mean it Ash." Gary kissed his forehead and looked into his sad eyes. "I love you. You don't have to say it back, I certainly don't deserve it… But I love you. I'd do anything for you."

Ash had to look away, overwhelmed by the sincerity in his words.

"I… I guess you have a thing for guys that are messed up, don't you…" Ash mumbled, moving to lie down. He felt dizzy… Lightheaded. How long had it been since his last drink?

"Shut up, Ash." Gary didn't even flinch. He laid down besides him, suddenly exhausted. "I love you… I love so much… I'm sorry…"

Ash recognized the break in Gary's voice, but couldn't bring himself to do anything about it. Wearied, he closed his eyes as he felt Gary pressing against him. Just when he thought he was an empty shell, something in Gary's warmth ignited an unexpected spark inside him, and suddenly Ash realized his heart was beating and that he was very much alive, tired and exhausted, but yes, alive.

They remained close together, for the rest of the night. Nether succumbed fully to sleep that night, cruising somewhere in between reality and dreams, memories and the present darkness of the night.

* * *

The next morning, Ash awoke with a sudden jolt, bursting out of the bed and fleeing to the bathroom. Soon enough, the clear contents of his stomachs were swirling in the toilet, smelling very much of everything he had drank the night before. Disgusted, Ash flushed that toilet and wobbled to the sink to wash himself.

It felt like he had slept nothing. It was like he hadn't even realized he was sleeping until awoken by his sudden nausea, the whole night had been a muddled mess. With a creeping awareness, Ash suddenly recalled everything he had said the night before. With a pang of regrets, Ash left the bathroom to find Gary still asleep, turned away from Ash. Seems like Ash hadn't awoken him when he had sprung out of the bed.

In the kitchen, Ash prepared strong coffee. A strong regret and sense of shame invaded him –_Oh god, why did I tell Gary all that, I'm such and idiot—_

Though Ash felt the urge to leave the apartment and avoid Gary for the rest of the day, he collapsed on the sofa, feeling too sick and nauseous to be walking around. He wished a dreamless sleep could claim him, so that he wouldn't have to feel anything until later on, when his strengths were recovered and the world didn't feel as heavy.

"Ash?" Gary emerged from the room, dark circles underneath his eyes. Looks like he hadn't slept well either.

With a pang in his chest, Ash sat up on the couch, the television on before him. "…Gary."

Gary looked confused and tired, rubbing one eye. "How long have you been up?"

Wrapping the blanket tighter around him, Ash sighed. "A while."

A heavy silence passed between them while Gary stared at Ash, who stared blankly ahead towards the television, avoiding Gary's eyes.

Taking seat besides Ash, Gary began. "…Ash, about last night…"

Ash swallowed thickly. "I don't want to talk about it."

A flash of hurt crossed Gary's eyes; he was reaching for Ash but stopped, pulling back. "Ash, I didn't mean to—"

Bursting from his spot, Ash strode towards the kitchen to refill in mug of coffee. "About last night, _Gary_, I shouldn't of said all that, I wished you'd never heard it—"

"Ash!" Gary's voice was strained and uncomprehending. "What's wrong? Are you angry at me?"

With rough movements, Ash slammed down the mug on the kitchen counter and stopped his pacing, facing away from Gary. After a long, tense moment, he spoke slowly. "What else do you want, Gary? You are satisfied all your curiosities last night… What do you want from me?"

Maybe because Gary hadn't slept well, Ash's words were taking more of a toll of him than usual. He needed him to stop

"Ash… I don't want anything from you… I want you to be happy" Gary began, his voice week, feeling slightly humiliated.

Ash plopped down on one of the chair at near the counter, watching Gary evenly. He sipped at his coffee wordless.

Gary fidgeted under his stare, scratching his head. "Ash… What did I do wrong? I was just worried, I just wanted to know you were safe…"

Ash stood up and wordlessly entered the room, shutting the bathroom door behind him.

Gary felt like shit. He had obviously done something wrong, but he couldn't figure it out. Had Ash reverted back to hating him for what he had done four years ago? Gary swallowed uneasily. He that was true what was he supposed to do? How could he remedy where he had gone badly wrong?

Sprawled out on the couch, Gary felt close to heartbreak. Maybe this had been a mistake, maybe Ash only said he would move in with him because he felt sorry for Gary. He twisted in his spot with a sound of frustration, his ego bruised. He decided to get up and not sulk around.

Finally Ash emerged from the shower, his hair still damp, still in the same funk. Gary offered him a smile, pulling out a chair for him to sit in.

"Take a seat, monsieur, breakfast shall be served momentarily." Gary smiled, trying his best to look unaffected. Ash threw him a questioning look but sat down nonetheless.

While Ash was in the shower prepared the best meal he could offer. To Ash it looked like he had prepared a breakfast buffet for all the variety laid out on the counter… He suddenly felt bad for treating Gary coldly earlier.

He was so hungry… Ash was gobbling down his food before he knew it. When He looked up, mouth full, Gary was looking at him with wide green eyes. Ash blushed and swallowed thickly.

"Okay… I admit it. I'm sorry for being mean to you." Ash hung his head, shameful. "…You don't deserve it."

A flicker of hope ignited in Gary's chest. He reached over and placed his hand over Ash's. "It's okay… I get it."

Ash shook his head, a heavy feeling in his chest. "No, you don't. I wish I hadn't told you what I said last night. I looked like a fool, crying like an idiot. I wish you didn't have to hear it, because now each time you'll look at me, you'll feel sorry for me."

This truly took Gary by surprise. "Ash, I—No! I don't, I swear! I just wanted to talk with you, I knew you needed to get it off you chest! I… I'm sorry."

"No, you don't have to be sorry." Ash sighed deeply, looking out the window. "I was the one who told you everything, it's not like you forced it out of me. I was the one who got drunk, and ended spilling his heart out."

Gary bit his lip. Ash hadn't been the only one telling truths. "I told you… I said I loved you. And the reason this all happened is because I'm worried about you."

Ash stopped playing with his food, looking up to meet Gary's eyes. "…Don't you dare feel sorry for me—"

"No, Ash." Gary shook his head, grasping Ash's hand tightly. "I don't feel sorry for you. You have a drinking problem, and I need you to see it."

Ash pulled his hand back, but remained wordless. Knowing Ash wasn't going to provide an answer, Gary sighed and continued with his food. He knew that if he pursued it any further, he'd only push Ash further away. They finished their breakfast in silence.

* * *

For the rest of the day, Ash made small attempts at being nice, offering Gary small smiles or sitting closely and leaning into him, offering affection. Still, it was clear Ash didn't want to talk about the drinking issues. Little by little this only made Gary worry as he realized just how reckless Ash had been last night…

He had driven his motorcycle home, drunk. That was reckless endangering of his own life and those of others. And when he had gotten home, why was his hair wet? That could only make it worse, meaning Ash had drove through the rain without a helmet. How was he supposed to even see without visors in the rain?

Ash's cellphone ran, snapping Gary out of his thoughts. The former was sitting at Gary's desk, checking something out on his laptop. He reached over an answered.

"Hello?" Ash sounded surprised. After a moment, Ash answered the tiny voice in the phone. "I'm fine, thanks. What's up, Julian?"

Gary sat up straight, his eyes wide. '_Julian?'_ He mouthed out in Ash direction, who just shook his head and motioned him to wait.

"Oh, I don't know, you know I can't go back… Yeah, yeah, had to get stiches and all…" Ash stood from the desk and walked out to the balcony, out of Gary's hearing range. Gary huffed out indignantly. Julian just gave him bad vibes.

Several minutes later, Ash returned from the balcony, looking at the cellphone in his hand.

"So… Julian offered me a gig." Ash said flatly.

Gary swerved around, eyes wide. "Please tell me you didn't take it?"

Ash hesitated, looking down at his feet. "…I did"

Gary put down the book he had been reading, astonished. "Ash—what? You can't go back to Slackline, it dangerous—"

"That's, just it, it's not in Slackline. Remember those producers I met? It's one those guys houses." Ash offered, taking his seat in the desk. "I guess I should start working on my playlist…"

Gary's astonished look remained the same. "You can't be serious. Ash, what do you know? Maybe Julian could be in on it! How did that guy get into the club with a knife anyways? Aren't the guards frisking everybody at the entrance?"

Ash scoffed. "What am I supposed to do Gary? I'm not making any money—"

"You don't need any money! I told you!"

"Gee, Gary, then you tell me." Ash's voice turned sour. "Should I just stay cooped up all day, be your house pet? I have a life to live, you know!"

"Yes! Live you're your life, Ash, I urge you!" Gary couldn't help the hint of sarcasm in his voice. "Just be sure to put yourself in constant danger! Do you really need to do that gig to entertain yourself? You and I both know your going to end up wasted, and it doesn't help that there's a psychopath looking for you—"

"Agh! Again with the drinking?" Ash threw his hands up, rolling his eyes before throwing Gary a dirty look. "Will you just let it go? It doesn't even affect you!"

"Oh, really?" Gary pointed at himself dramatically, eyebrows high. "Sure, _it doesn't affect me_! I'm just the one who gets to see you all torn up, crying and wishing yourself dead—"

Ash stood abruptly from the desk, slamming his laptop closed and taking it with him.

"Yeah, nice one Gary." He muttered, disappearing into the room before returning, putting a jacket on. He stopped just before Gary, a look of contempt upon his face.

"It doesn't matter what you say, I'm doing the gig." Ash said with finality. As he put on his jacket, the collar of his shirt had slipped aside, revealing the purple hicky from the day before. It had yet to fade. Ash looked at it with disdain, fixing his shirt to conceal it from view.

"Where are you going?" Gary voice gave away a hint of outrage. "You're just going to walk away?"

"No. I need to lend some gear from Harlow. The gig is tonight. I'll call you later." With that Ash strode towards the door, unlocked the apartment and left, slamming the door behind him.

A few seconds later, Gary's book collided into the door after a burst of frustration. "Dammit, Ash!"

* * *

He- He- Hey girl!

Whatcha guys think? Man long time, no see.. sorry bout that. This originally is only half of the chapter. I was going to finish it.. but I'm travelling around the world for a few days and I won't be taking my computer with me, so no fan fiction writing! And to be honest, I only had time to spell check this part, which is damn long for it to be only half of a chapter… And I spellchecked in a hurry, so forgive e for any mistakes. When I come back ill go through it again.

Leave a review guys… Its funny how each time I reread my chapters, I always get a different impression. I want to know what you guys think! And besides reviews make me happy. I hope you guys liked it! I know it was more about character development, and not much happened, and that why I was originally I was going to write a longer chapter… But I put myself in your position.. .what would you guys like? An extremely long chapter in a few more weeks, or an update now that still long…. Eh!

I Love my followers! Lol its so funny cus I have a girlfriend now, and I wonder if any of you guys are lesbos like me… haha just kidding! Or am I? If you are, drop and review and say hi! 3


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